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ube licker

Beautiful Soul

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I'm enjoying the story, but I'm not too sure that 'swindling' is the right word in this sentence. "The afternoon temperatures were swindling in triple digits." Maybe you need to drop the word "in" to make it reflect what is intended?

Bart

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Dropping the 'in' would make the temperature just under triple digits, in other words, the high nineties. Someone else will have to tell you if your intended result is being met by swindler in the current sentence. I cannot see that it does so, but I'm notoriously literal, as most here can attest. :)

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Geez AJ. I'd never read your signature lines before. That's pretty hot. :)

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"...it was important to acknowledge the fact that a large percentage of teens were sexually inactive."

Now that really is an important thing to acknowledge. :razz: :oops:

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Loved the new chapter. The opening scene...and then that part at the end...and, you know, all that stuff in the middle. But especially the end - Ethan's thoughts as he's going to Urges. Powerful stuff.

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Thx EleCivil. I think you're my only reader here LOL! It's ok, this site is full of great authors and you are one of them.

I just realized that my profile name says I'm a poetry contributer... I'm an author and I've never written poetry for this site... :? Does anybody know how I can change that?

Anyway, I love writing this story and I hope that whoever is reading it enjoys it. I know I make a lot of spelling and grammar errors so that's one thing I'll definitely be working on. I can't wait to post more chapters. Chapt 16 should be on it's way soon enough.

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Hey, what am I? Chopped liver? I'm an avid reader too! :)

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Guilty as charged. I like the story, but unfortunately, I don't always write to the author in a timely fashion. Altho there are a couple that get an almost immediate email.

The last story that I finally got caught up with, I didn't write the author, but I did chat with him when I saw him online recently. In fact, I find I like chatting with an author about his/her story and I've done that a few times with Jamie.

Jan

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Thx EleCivil. I think you're my only reader here LOL! It's ok, this site is full of great authors and you are one of them.

Add one more reader Ube. I may not always comment but I always read Beautiful Soul.

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Aww thx trab, Talonrider and Jamessavik. I understand where you come from because there are many great stories out there that I've read and never made comments on. If any of you have any criticisms (besides the spelling and grammar, which I still believe is important to a good story) or suggestions then please feel free to post them. :)

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