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blue

See the best in others, a viewing filter

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We've had some rough times lately, online.

So I am borrowing an idea from another board. We'll call it a "Best View Filter."

A Best View Filter means we try to see from the other person's viewpoint, and take their opinions in the best light possible, even when we don't agree. Try to realize what might be valuable and right in their point of view. The filter does not block out what's real or only see some saccharine outlook. The Best View Filter simply takes things in their best light, and offers a glimpse of the other's viewpoint.

Please remember we all are here to share what we have in common. We're here to support people who need acceptance and belonging; to support new people who are searching, and each other.

Let's focus on that and set aside what divides us; to agree to disagree, and still offer that welcome.

Your Best View Filter shades come in designer colors, whatever you'd like. Aviator black, classic gold, rose-colored, deep purple, cobalt blue, whatever shade appeals to you. They're free. Hand them out to others. Please put 'em on when viewing posts.

Thank you,

Blue, as forum admin;

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Something i've found to be true again and again in online communications is that we're all handicapped by not being able to hear tone of voice or see body language. Both of these 'subtext' means of communicating are extremely important in face-to-face communication...so much so that when we don't have them (as we don't here), much of what we're saying is lost.

This being the case, i have two personal rules that i follow in online communication:

1.) assume that the other person is not trying to offend me. Yes, what they said may sound harsh, but i don't know HOW they said it, or what they were doing with their body at the time. So I assume that i'm misunderstanding their intent if i feel offended, and ask for clarification, in a way that expresses this assumption.

2.) Be excruciatingly polite. It doesn't hurt me to practice my best manners online, because they tend to lap over into my realtime communications...and that's a good thing. "A soft answer turneth away wrath."

A third rule is, "Don't participate in arguments. Have discussions instead, and know when it's time to stop."

cheers!

aj

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