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Naiilo

I want to share...

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It makes perfect sense, I suppose. Why join a writer's forum, if I do not share? It really seemed self defeating and meaningless. So, I decided to share something I wrote awhile ago. Just a small piece of prose that describes an experience. Let me know what you think. It is puposefully vague, so if you happen to have a question, feel free to ask using either AIM or PM. The e-mail addy I have listed is primarily for online shopping, so I tend not to check it so often. Here goes:

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-Naiilo

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I decided to post some more. Let me know what you think.

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I know people dying and suicide is a bit on the normal side for a lot of stuff here. I wrote this so that people could make their own descisions on it. It has a couple different applications to current issues, at least, in my opinion.

-Naiilo

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I liked this one better than you first post. The first one, to me, was more like complex poetry, while this one is prose.

As far as the writing itself is concerned, I don't really have much more to say -- it was very well done!

Graeme

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I decided to post some more. Let me know what you think.  

“He was different,” began the man in the midnight suit, “that was his plight. He chose to stand out, chose to be different, and chose to die because of his difference. He doused his fire to escape curses from those that, a month ago, would have gladly loved him.” The man paused for a second, surveyed the room, and resumed. “I think that it doesn’t really make a difference now that he told us. When he revealed what he was, somehow most of us thought him completely different from the man we knew. It felt like betrayal, but in all truth this man did no actual wrong. We were the ones to betray him. He let us in and we shut ourselves out.”  

By this time the man was beginning to get agitated by the crowd’s lack of emotion. They were all familiar looking in black and blue shades. Feminine eyes hid behind dark veils filtering the world they saw. Plain white masques covered all mens’ faces but one. The one exposed was reeling with as much emotion as there was absent in the assembly.  

And he spoke again, “I speak these words for Dorian Baxter. He was my friend, he was my brother. Those of you who knew him have felt many things since he told us of his change. He did not think it too important that he chose his path over our convention. For those of you that set him out of your minds, please grant him one last thought of acceptance. He was my brother, he was my friend, and he didn’t deserve this.” A rain of sorrow swept down the man’s face before he left.  

Although he received affection and empathy from those around him, he refused it. They could not accept his brother, so now he would be as frozen to them as they were to Dorian. They held out arms and hands, gave shoulders and pats, but he ignored it all. Frigid to the world, the man stepped out into a cool spring breeze and the bright morning sun.  

I know people dying and suicide is a bit on the normal side for a lot of stuff here. I wrote this so that people could make their own descisions on it. It has a couple different applications to current issues, at least, in my opinion.

-Naiilo

I like this. Sooo dark and dreary. I like the way you convey your emotion through words. Admittedly, I hate death in a story sooo if you plan on posting a story please, please don't make it death and suicide k?

To Graeme,

I agree with you. This one's more like prose (I call it story). The first one has beautiful words. Even I who rarely read poetry can tell. HOw are you there Graeme? :)

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