Everything's Eventual

[blue]

Hi, Dude.

I'd like to suggest a story for inclusion. It's over on Nifty and still in progress, regularly updated. I don't know if the author has finished or is working ahead from what he's posted.

The story is Everything's Eventual by R.H. Lee. The story centers on relationships and support. There's been no sex, just mentions that couples are involved. There's a group of six gay, lesbian, and bi friends who the main char. lucks into meeting, but that is needed for the story and turns out not to be a clich? at all. Along the way, Ryan's cousin Mitch comes to live with them and is very bad news for a while until the reasons for that are revealed. Everyone in the story is developed as a real character and the situations are all realistic. It's quite well done.

The only complaint I have is that two characters are similarly named, which was initially confusing. There's Nathan and Nathaniel; the latter is sometimes called Nath. That's been the only fault, though.

There are currently 7 parts and it's regularly updated. First rate. There hasn't been anything that would make it, IMHO, unsuitable for mainstream Young Adult fiction involving gay characters, by the way.

It would be nice to see the story here at some point.

[dude]

You know, Blue... the story doesn't seem to have any life whatsoever. It is so obvioius that it is writtern by someone quite a bit older and out of touch with young people and the characters... with the exception of Rick and Travis seem so lifeless. And Rick has been banished to Florida. Guess R.H. Lee was afraid something might happen between the two if he didn't separate him from Ryan. The dancing around betwen Ryan and Rick was so cliched despite the fact that each knew the other was gay.

Sorry, just think the story is terribly dull and going nowhere. Anybody else have an opinion?

[blue]

Well, OK, to each his own. What ~does~ anyone else think?

[Guest]

blue i liked it to begin with but there is a definite problem with the fact that the story dosent seem to be going ANYWHERE. theres no conflict except for mitch and they seem to have resolved that so whats the point. its clear ryan is to chicken to get with anyone. some of the characters have no personality at all for example nathan has said like two words

[RPnSoCal]

Hi Guys -

I have to agree with Blue at this point in the story. From a technical aspect, it is well-written, and although rushed in places, the characters are takiing shape. Though two similarly-named characters is not a good thing, I have decided. It is WAY too confusing, at least in this context.

I confess that Dude's comment re cliches did make me think back over the story, and it is weak at times. But cliches exist for a reason - certain "issues" or patterns come up repeatedly in one's life or tend to come up at sometime in everybody's kife. So, their inclusion doesn't bother me much, assuming that the author does not overuse them, and can be creative while doing so.

FWIW, I would keep an eye on the story and see how the next few chapters go. Odd/unique/off-the-wall/HUH? styled titles for stories often lead me to new finds. This is one of those stories, as were Tristan's Redemption, What Lies Within, Alone by Myself, uhm <sadly watches several grand examples float off into the night air without identifying themselves.> and others <who will be caught and posted.> I feel that like a parent, an author that takes special care naming his/her "child" usually takes more care in writng as a whole.

May I suggest another at which to take a look ? It would be too early to say for sure, but the characters have potential, as do the story elements. I'm enjoying it so far. It is posting on Nifty in High School - "Goo-Goo-Muck" (like I said about titles.)

CAVEAT: I'm not sure about how to define the sex content, but it is there, albeit in the form of day-dreaming sequences I guess would be the term.

RP

[dude]

Thanks RP... well I have not given up on Everything's Eventual at all.. it has just been a while now since I saw any "action" as far as the story moving forward and doubt there will be any of the other kind of action at all. That is NOT a problem at all. I think I should run a poll and ask what is more important in a story... romance or sex?

As far as choosing new writers and stories to pursue.. I find it a real challenge.. sometimes a story just leaps out at you as did Drama Club.. which I was sold on after two chapters.. others take longer. I will do my best to check out the one you just mentioned... althoiugh it won't be before the weekend.. as this is a hectic week for me.

Many thanks... RP and keep your eyes open for me... it is greatly appreciated!

[blue]

Goo Goo Muck: Haven't read it.

-----

Everything's Eventual:

Well, Dude's and trent's comments made me think some about the story.

I don't know why the author hasn't added a new chapter. Did he see the comments here and get discouraged? :shrugs: That would be a shame. Since it's been a long time since the story was updated, perhaps it's a moot point.

I did think moving Rick out was odd. Maybe it's so Miguel gets a shot.

Char. dev. -- Ryan resonates with me, perhaps the artistic and introverted aspects, and Scott as the younger brother really is done well, imho. Travis has life to him, and so do Robin and Miguel. Mitch is presented strongly but stereotypically until his problem is revealed. The others? Hmm. Yes, they need more. Ryan and Scott's parents are supportive, but there are unexplored undercurrents about step-family issues there. Two characters too closely named, that's a mistake. Too confusing.

I feel like Mitch has more story there. Is there more as he deals with his trauma and adjusts to the kind of loving family he has no idea how to take? I'd think so. We don't have any hint that he's had other (sexual) abuse, so I'll presume that's not at issue. But he'd still have trouble figuring out his cousin Ryan, Travis, and the others.

Trent said it wasn't realistic and it was chicken of Ryan not to make a move. Hmm. I disagree strongly with that, but it took me a long while to figure out what/if I should say in reply. With a couple of new comments, I'll try to respond.

From the story setup, Ryan had just recently come out at his old school, and how he was received is part of why they moved. His parents also seemed to want to put him in a new place to force him to find new friends. He's been basically holed up in his room all the time, with hardly any friends, even before he came out.

Ryan has just moved there, and he doesn't know any of his new friends well at all. The story has him first uncertain about Rick's feelings towards guys, and then has Ryan unsure whether Rick returns his feelings. That seems reasonable. Yes, it takes him a while, and maybe that's unrealistic, since they're both supposed to be openly/mostly openly gay.

But some people just take longer, especially when they're inexperienced. Some people are very shy. Some people are late bloomers socially, or may not yet have those strong feelings or physical reactions in public, even though their bodies are mature enough, and they might have strong feelings and responses privately.

Does that make it unrealistic or make Ryan chicken? Maybe not. It isn't news that guys get physically or verbally abused for being gay or being accused of it.

Overall, yes, it's a bit odd that there's been barely even any mention that characters might be actively having sex, since several are paired off. Hey, it isn't a requirement. The relationships and how they grow are a requirement, though.

I would still like to see the story continue, but unless it does and finishes, then it wouldn't be a candidate for inclusion on the site here. I still like it, critiques and all.

-- And if the author did/does read this, hey, finish the story, wouldja? Even harsh critcism shows someone liked the story enough to comment on what they thought it needed.

[RPnSoCal]

FYI: A link to Goo-Goo-Muck (which I should have included te first time!)

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/...l/goo-goo-muck/

@Dude - You're welcome. As far as sex/romance goes, I would vote for good storytelling. By that, I mean romance isn't necessarily required as a theme at all (for me). If there is sex in the story, then it better blend well and be an important, if not necessary, element. Though usually, I would far prefer to see it referenced than detailed. (Such as Ryan does in his stories.)