Bruin Fisher Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 The other day I woke with the remnants of a dream still swirling around in my befuddled brain. As you do, I frantically snatched at the fragments in the hope of retaining the dream in memory. But it turned to dust before my eyes, and all I could salvage was a vague image of a man distraught after declaring his love and being rebuffed, and a line of poetry: 'Your dark lubricious depths'. So I took those and built a short story around them. I have no idea whether the story bears any resemblance to the dream, but it might do. Here it is if you're interested. It's only 1,400 words. Quote Link to comment
Lugnutz Posted November 19, 2010 Report Share Posted November 19, 2010 Nice story. Reminds me of a bit of my history. A friend I worked with once in a while and hung out on occasion I unknowingly had a hankering for. I didn't know and neither did he. One day I got a call telling me he killed himself and the note he left said something along the lines of not wanting to be gay. This was over 20 years ago and still ask myself "What if.........." Quote Link to comment
Richard Norway Posted November 19, 2010 Report Share Posted November 19, 2010 You got to me Bruin because I was in the military and SO related the the attitudes of the officers, although I was in the US military, but it was the same. My dream is that no one goes through the denial of who our friends are. Quote Link to comment
DesDownunder Posted November 20, 2010 Report Share Posted November 20, 2010 Such rich, inventive writing, Bruin, and all from a dream that faded into a reality for the reader. You can almost smell the leather in the chairs of the club. Yes, that's creativity for you. Well done. As for the story, so many questions. I love the lingering thought that just maybe, the gun going off wasn't accidental, and also maybe it wasn't his finger on the trigger? After all, Alfie had just been rebuffed by a fellow officer for declaring his undying love. Oh the irony of such thoughts you leave us poor readers to consider. Delightful! Quote Link to comment
Bruin Fisher Posted November 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2010 Well you're entirely right about the gun going off not being an accident. The story begins 'I knew, we all knew. It was no accident.' But I hadn't considered the possibility that it wasn't his finger on the trigger. I just assumed that he was so distraught over having made a mess of his life, and shaming himself in front of his fellows at the club, that he couldn't bear to face the world any longer. Just goes to show the author is the last to know...! Thanks everyone for your kind comments, I'm so glad my story met with approval. Another one on its way shortly... Quote Link to comment
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