School banning soccer balls and footballs - deemed "too dangerous"

[Lugnutz]

Had square dancing too.

[Steven Adamson]

Then the teacher says they're going to play dodgeball. Most of the kids yell YAY! They grab balls and get ready to start. The other, fewer kids move as subtly as possible into the background.

And therein lies my puzzlement. There are few "YAY!"s in this thread. Did so many of us at AD have bad experiences? It bears looking into: Are writers generally dodgeball-bait?

[Steven Adamson]

Actually, all this talk about kids hurting each other in the name of fun reminds me of a story I wrote about ten years back that sits in the intersection of middle school, games, 'friendly violence' and fitting in. I shelved it because I couldn't decide if the ending was right or if I should continue and make a larger story of it. Think I'll dust that one off.

[Steven Adamson]

Actually, all this talk about kids hurting each other in the name of fun reminds me of a story I wrote about ten years back that sits in the intersection of middle school, games, 'friendly violence' and fitting in. I shelved it because I couldn't decide if the ending was right or if I should continue and make a larger story of it. Think I'll dust that one off.

[blue]

Dancing: Rarely, we had a day or so of dancing in P.E. It was fun, even if I didn't feel like the most graceful dancer. I didn't mind dancing with the girls in jr. high and sr. high. It didn't really occur to me to dance with a boy. Or more to the point, that it'd be allowed, not ridiculed by everyone or at least razzed, kidded, for dancing boy-boy or girl-girl. I didn't particularly wonder if any of those guys might want to dance with me. Yes, I did wonder if any boy might like to be with me and, uh, engage in comparative biology experiments, shall we say, but I pretty much figured they wouldn't. Yes, there were boys I liked. Only a few boys were rumored to be gay, me included, and I knew that was as much code for "he's too different/weird and we think he's a sissy and we don't like him, so let's call him names and treat him badly." -- I should also say that in school, there were girls I liked, enough to ask, oh, four or five on dates, and enough to not ask one very nice girl I should've asked. Oddly enough, this did not meet with wild success. (Hey, I'm clean, sociable, have manners, can make conversation some, you can take me places, honest.) But, uh, also during that time, what got my motor going was guys. But I was new enough at all of it that I didn't recognize my first two major crushes until well into them. ("Hey, BG sure has nice eyes. What a nice guy he is. I sure like sitting with him. BG's neck, arm, thigh sure look wonderful. Wait, his neck...thigh...? It wasn't until I caught myself thinking about that while right there with him, or while drifting off to sleep, that it dawned on me I had a real crush on him, and then, haha, d'oh, I nearly stepped in it by trying to talk to a mutual friend and to him.... Hoo boy.) Oh, and yes, I went stag to my senior prom. In a pale grey tux with a pale pink shirt. Yes, that was "in" then for guys, but yes, slightly unusual and not-quite-aware message there, lol.)

Dodgeball: "Dodgeball bait?" Well, no, but I do recall on multiple occasions other words on their own or associated with either "bait" or "-bate." Just saying.

I don't know, but somehow, dodgeball didn't faze me.

Changing or showering in the boy's locker room? That did.

I see myself pushing back and saying, you know, yes, I was picked on a lot in elementary and junior high, and occasionally in senior high. But darn it, I also was a good student, had friends, got through all the b.s. from the bullies and gossips, was active in a couple of clubs, had some fun -- in other words, it was not all, woe is me constantly, and you couldn't just push me around all the time. I'd talk back, sometimes push back, and I lived my life. No, I didn't like the idiots who'd say things or do things. No, I didn't like when a few teachers ignored things. No...I didn't like that I didn't feel I could talk to my parents about, hey, I have feelings for boys, what's up with that?

However, I also could stand up quite publicly and tell off the big football jock who insisted that the first male cheerleader could not sit there, when I was just fine with him sitting there. (Yay, T.) And I could tell a trusted teacher when T. kept getting talked about and it sounded serious. I could stand up publicly for another friend when some yay-hoo called him over (in front of me) to say he was a big faggot with all that dance and mime and theatre. (I wish I had stood up out of my chair when one guy called me that in the middle of class, too.) And yes, I could say plainly when one boy had a cafeteria tray thrown at his back. Or when another boy killed himself after being caught under the bleachers watching either the cheerleaders or the team (guys) and well, doing something he should've done in private.

My point is -- Sure, I got picked on. Yes, it was bad. But yes, even a nerdy, geeky guy like me could resist all that crap and make a space for himself. -- And state publicly, unequivocally, that he didn't care if his friends were gay or not, they were his friends and could do what they wanted, and still friends. You see, if you pick on the legally blind kid enough, and then he sees you pick on the supposedly gay kid for the same no reason, guess what? The blind, gay kid is going to get up in your face and defend his friends, even if he couldn't quite defend himself. So there! :taps-foot: :growl:

Yes, there were times when it sucked to be talked about, picked on, bullied. Yes, there were times it was lonely being stuck at home without calls or visits or invites out with friends to do things, or without a date or a friend (with or without any fooling around). -- And I can look back and see, hey, there were times I should've gone anyway, or called someone and asked them, and they might've said sure, come on. Or sometimes not, but them's the breaks. You keep at it.

I suppose my point is, we all got through that b.s. We didn't like it, but we did get through it. You couldn't keep us down all the time.

Therefore my point to someone today is, don't let all the bull**** get you down. There are absolutely people who care about you, both now and in the future. If you're getting bullied, chances are pretty good there are other guys and girls getting bullied too. If you happen to be gay or bi or lesbian or trans or whatever it is; if you aren't so sure and just wish everybody would quit with the stupid limiting labels; then you can believe me, you are not the only one. Some other classmate, workmate, neighbor, or friend is also, and probably just as much wishing he or she knew someone who feels like that and wants to be with him or her (or you).

That's the thing. You're not alone out there, you're not the only one who's ever been through **** for being however people claim you are. So keep being yourself, keep doing your best...and look around, you might find a friend looking around who needs you just like you need them.

Uh, and periodically, I have to remind myself too. :)

[Gee Whillickers]

Yay!! Cooler heads have prevailed as a legion of angry parents and interested parties have convinced the school of the value of playing with balls!

While the ban isn't completely lifted, once again the school will see balls in the playground. Here's a link to the story: http://www.cbc.ca/news/offbeat/story/2011/11/29/toronto-balls-banned-school.html

It sounds like the school was slammed with quite the volume of attention. Reporters from countries all over the world were phoning, blogs and forums having anything to do with fitness and sports were abuzz, etc. I'll bet that school didn't know what hit 'em.

[Paco]

It's not the balls that are hurting kids... it's the coachess. Shall we ban all coaches? Someone needs to get a life.