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Time to consider the source...

Chris James

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I get pretty disgusted at homophobia, especially when it comes from what are supposed to be intelligent sources. I am not sure why a story like this is necessary in the first place, except perhaps to give idiots a chance to share bad jokes.

Two penguins arrive at a new living place after who knows what kind of journey and trauma. They cling together in what is said to be a social friendship and they get labeled homosexual. Then the jokes start while the zoo caretakers sit back and observe. But read the article, they were quite wrong:


I am not up on the mating habits of penguins. In fact I am sure there are some rules in the condo association here against having them as neighbors. (they have rules for everything) But the experts seem to have been caught with their pants down and the males have taken girlfriends.

Perhaps the story is over for now. A lesson learned? I doubt it. Nature is inconsistant, but science is not served well by quickly painting the habits of wild creatures with the same brush of homophobia we see in human society. All these quick to judge family values people have certainly turned our minds to mush.

I did not find myself rooting for the penguins to go for it just because they might be gay. But it did allow me to see my fellow humans at their worst. Makes me wonder if we will ever evolve into some higher being. Not anytime soon it seems.

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Well, and they might like other male penguins at some time in the future, or they might like female penguins.

We might just have to admit that those penguins, or penguins generally, are not gay or straight, or even bi, but...they are penguins. By extension, that very possibly humans are not gay or straight, or even bi...but humans.

Way back when I was a much younger Blue, yes, I sometimes liked a girl. Even now, I can kind of blush, get a little nervous, and be attracted a little to a few nice young ladies. But as I grew to be a bigger Blue, more and more my feelings were for guys. In my case, I'm never going to have the same innate level of, ah, enthusiasm, for a girl as for a guy.

But there are some, perhaps most, who could like girls a lot and like guys some, or like guys a lot and like girls some. That might vary between each relationship over a lifetime.

Sure, some people are going to be primarily straight and others are going to be primarily gay. I'm gay. When I dated girls (very few) they could tell the spark wasn't there, like it would be with a straight guy. Likewise, lots of straight friends just wouldn't be interested in another guy. (Darn it, sometimes, y'know?) But that's how it is.

I think the experts, and perhaps the gay and straight communities, have got it backwards still, on all those labels. When you need LGBTQ and more letters, plus Straight, then just possibly your labeling system is a little wonky, it seems to me. Maybe instead, we should be prepared to admit that deep down, we can love males and females, and so we may primarily like one or the other, but more likely, we are somewhere in between on the scale. And perhaps we should stop trying to label everyone. Puberty and adolescence are hard enough without some poor boy or girl having to stress over whether he or she is gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, straight, queer....

Eh, yeah, I was kinda rooting for the penguin boys, back when they were together. I hope they're happy now too. Let 'em just be penguins, I say. They shouldn't have to play by human rules, since they're not humans.

I don't mind the jokes about gay penguins, really. The idea behind many of those jokes is that it's possible for two fellas or two ladies to be together, not just friends but in love and making love. That's a fine thing for humor, as long as they're laughing with us and not at us. It used to be that they couldn't even say a joke like that on TV or radio. Now they can and people can laugh without getting all worried what others will think. It's better than truly homophobic jokes, anyway.

I'm good with the little guys runnin' around in there dapper tuxes and hanging out together and building nests, cuddling, and maybe doing whatever it is that makes a penguin really, really happy. Woo-hoo!

But personally? I'd rather be where it's warm. You don't see me out there in sub-freezing weather with my bare butt and other parts sitting out on the ice and snow, do ya? Noooo. But hey, if that does it for them, cool!

Me, I'd rather be further south. Or perhaps in the ski lodge (except I've never skied). Or y'know, anywhere inside warm, if it's gonna be that cold out. (I'm from the Gulf Coast, whaddaya expect, here? I think those Canadian and Scandinavian and Russian folks are kinda wacky, but kinda nice too. Um, not bad lookin', either.)

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I don't think it's homophobia -- I think it's a human-interest story, or at least a story about a universal emotion. I always say, you put almost anybody in a "Desert Island" situation, they're gonna find sex and companionship with whoever's available.

Howard Stern has a funny routine called "F, Marry, Kill," where they read off the names of three famous celebrities, and you have to decide who you'd like to have sex with, who you'd want to marry, and who you'd have to kill. It gets tough when it gets to, say... Oprah, Whoopi Goldberg, or the girl from Precious. Or, for guys: Newt Gingrich, Donald Trump, or Ted Haggard.

I think the penguin just took Stephen Stills' advice: "If you can't be with the one you love, honey, Love the One You're With."

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