bi_janus Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Scratch Bi_janus The exam room door opened, and Dr. Thatwhich walked to the foot of the exam table, extending his hand. “Good morning. What brings you in today?” I shook his hand and extended my forearms to show the deep scratches. I didn’t explain further. “My, oh my, how did your get those?” asked the good Doctor, grasping my right arm for a closer look. “My pets.” “What sort of pets do you have?” “A white Siamese named Padma, a hound named Piedough, and a floppy-eared rabbit named Acomma.” “A rabbit? How do the cat and the dog get along with the rabbit?” “The cat is aloof and ignores the rabbit. I think of Padma as a set of independent claws.” “And the dog?” “That’s another story. Piedough is bred to hunt, so he’s always trying to chase Acomma, and he’s jealous of the time I spend with the rabbit. Training the hound causes most of these scratches. Unlike the cat, Piedough is more a set of dependent claws. ” “I see. What’s your training routine?” “I put the rabbit on the floor in front of the cat. Nothing happens. I put the rabbit on the floor in front of the hound and all hell breaks loose. I get scratched when I try to keep Piedough from going after the rabbit.” “Well, I think this situation requires a couple of approaches. First I’m going to prescribe Minocycline, an antibiotic. A couple of those scratches look infected. Take one capsule twice a day.” “What’s the second approach, Doctor?” “My advice is that while you may put Acomma before your independent claws, you should rarely put Acomma before your dependent claws.” Link to comment
dude Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Oh my... that's choice! Link to comment
Lugnutz Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Who knew the Doc was a English teacher? Link to comment
Richard Norway Posted January 4, 2012 Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Oh my, oh my, oh my. Last night I had a deep conversation with an English grad student friend who was doing some editing for me on my AD Challenge work. We got into a discussion of the dependence or independence necessary between phrases separated by a semi-colon. Oh my. Bi_Janus did it much better. Oh My! Link to comment
Bruin Fisher Posted January 6, 2012 Report Share Posted January 6, 2012 I love this sort of thing! Reminds me of the following: Big Chief Pythagoras The village over which Pythagoras presided with the invaluable assistance of his two wives was peaceful and prosperous. But when a nomadic tribe settled nearby, tension between the two communities grew and Pythagoras felt the need to do something. He discussed with the village elders the idea of holding a festival and inviting the neighbouring tribes, but some thought the occasion might be used as a way for the nomads to spy out their defences and evaluate the strength of the village. In particular Pythagoras had only two wives and each had so far provided him only one son, whereas the nomadic chief had three wives, which everyone thought might lead to a feeling of superiority on the part of the visitors. Pythagoras was minded to ignore these warnings, but his advisers told him bluntly that unless he took a third wife the festival couldn't go ahead. Pythagoras knew what his wives would think of the idea of his marrying again, but promised he would deal with the problem. The festival did take place, and the visitors were duly impressed when introduced in turn to Pythagoras' senior wife, very regal, seated in front of her tepee on a beautiful buffalo hide, then to his second wife, sitting on an imported lion pelt and rather shyly responding to each greeting, and, mysteriously, to a third wife, tall, skinny, wrapped in intricately embroidered robes, sitting nervously on a highly polished hippopotamus hide, a thing the like of which no-one had ever seen. After the guests had left, the elders of the village gathered excitedly around their chief, wanting to know how he had managed to produce a third wife in such short time, without anyone knowing, and apparently with the consent of his other spouses. Wily old Pythagoras winked and smirked and told them: "Well, it's like this: the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides." - which, of course, explained everything. Link to comment
colinian Posted January 7, 2012 Report Share Posted January 7, 2012 Oh, Bruin, you should be ashamed! I counted five HORRIBLE puns before my eyeballs imploded as my others exploded. Posting such on a site where impressionable young adults gather is criminal! Colin Link to comment
Bruin Fisher Posted January 7, 2012 Report Share Posted January 7, 2012 Me and shame.. best pals! Link to comment
Steven Keiths Posted January 8, 2012 Report Share Posted January 8, 2012 Okay, at first I groaned, then I smiled. Wonderful play on words; or playing with words. Link to comment
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