How to improve?

[Graeme]

With any sort of activity (physical or mental), there is usually a curve where there is rapid improvement early on, until a plateau is reached. Often, it requires an outside eye and lots of practise to advance from that plateau.

I feel that I've reach that sort of plateau with my writing. I can see other writings that I feel are better than mine, but I'm having trouble working WHAT it is that makes them better.

In the interests of not offending anyone here, I'll use an outside example:

http://www.midsumma.org.au/index.cfm?pageid=82

This is the story that won the Gay and Lesbian MidSumma short story writing competition here in Melbourne this year. I found out about it a couple of weeks after entries closed, but I was interested in seeing the winning stories.

I feel that this story is better than anything I was likely to write, but I'm having trouble working out WHAT it is that is making it better. I want to do so, so I can try to improve.

Can anyone help?

Graeme

[aj]

but you aren't sure why. If you want to figure it out, you have to break his story down into its elements, and do an analysis of his style to decide what it was that you liked so much.

Here's my quick and dirty analysis of the...well, not so much story as essay:

1.) This guy knows that when he's writing a short piece like this, he has to grab his audience and yank them in as fast as possible--no subtle waiting around and playing games, just a brutal grab and yank. And he does that, quite successfully...but how? First of all, he knows his audience: in this case, gay men who are interested in reading and literature. So he stacks this piece full of the themes that hit us all somewhere just about the belt line--'the estranged, marginalized teen'; 'being stuck in a stupid little town with no future, except appalling, degrading labor'; 'the struggle between the rich and the poor.' And finally, and most compellingly, the internal hatred and the demeaning tapes that we (most of us) play in our heads.

2.) He uses words that are heavy on action and immediacy, and he talks in specific details: not just "the gorgeous boarders" but their lean, muscled thighs and their graceful and powerful necks. Notice that he never mentions their packages, nor their asses. By staying away from these cliches, he conveys a sense of hero worship and hopeless adoration without ever having to say so. How many of us have felt that sense of hopeless longing that he evokes? I sure as hell know I have, so this resonates for me.

3.) His essay is about his relationship with his inner critic, and he does a great job of explicating just how that voice speaks to him: 'sharp-tongued abuser', 'bully', 'ambitious but cowardly'. I know that inner critic--he sounds a lot like mine...or at least the way mine used to sound before I told him to shut the hell up if he couldn't say anything useful.

So, what i'm suggesting is that a very close and analytical reading of this guy's essay would be useful...look for the elements of his style, and then shamelessly steal what you like and leave the rest.

cheers!

aj

[Tragic Rabbit]

Notice that he never mentions their packages, nor their asses.  

aj

:lol:

[JamesSavik]

I feel that I've reach that sort of plateau with my writing. I can see other writings that I feel are better than mine, but I'm having trouble working WHAT it is that makes them better.  

Graeme-

Ambush and Bad News, two of you most recently posted short stories are as good as they come.

They don't wander around a point, they hit it like a laser guided smart bomb. Nothing is wasted. No punches are pulled- Pow, there you are.

In your longer work, New Brother, very few people do chacterization and interaction any better.

Don't mistake a differance in style to with quality. It just doesn't add up that way.

[Guest rusticmonk86]

I haven't read your writing. But I don't need to in order to answer this.

There is no such thing as a platue. That's the story that you tell yourself. I tell myself that too, but I keep writing anyway.

Writing for me, just like cooking and photography, is something I do without thinking too much. The instant I stop to think, is when I stop.

You feel you've reached your best. Chances are, the voices that were talking to you finally talked it out. So you need to find new ones now.

Look at TR. He's writing about WWII. And it all started when he wrote about the boy who sees dead people.

No one can tell you how to get out of this. When I found that out, I was really pissed off. But, just keep writing. Write about not writing if you need to. Or describe a shoe in excruciating detail.

Most of all:

Don't compare.

Or, compare, and improve. What drives me is the drive to be better, more metaphorical, more straight-forward more biting. That's what keeps me going. I write a lot of what I consider shit, too. I've said that a lot. (But if anyone calls it shit, I'll ripe them a new one.) And you can see some of it in the Poetry Corner. Actually, look at Cable. Then look at some of the poems about the same thing. Except different. What Happened to US? Abstention Proclaimation. The sestina I just wrote. I Found Myself on a Dirt Road (which, by anyone else, I would think it was completely contrived and utterly studious).

It's normal to hate your work. To think you're not going anywhere or getting any better, or writing anything new. To think that you have no talent. To wonder why you even try.

What makes them better?

You.

What makes yours so bad?

You.

So what are you going to do about it?

[Graeme]

Thanks, everyone for the comments.

Firstly, I was not trying to denigrate my current work, or to complain about a writers block, but simply to say that I can see a qualitative difference between what I'm writing and other authors, and I'm trying to work out what to do to reach that "next level" of quality.

AJ's comments on the story in question were well taken. In many ways, I was reminded of the book on symbols that James recommended recently -- how this author had used symbols and buttons to get the required response from the reader.

James, I don't believe I'm confusing style with quality. There are styles of writing that I wouldn't even attempt yet (and that's where TR has me in awe), but I'm going by the "feel" of the stories. Creative writing is ultimately about the ability to instill a feeling or sense of emotions in the reader through the use of words. I'm trying to improve my ability to do this.

So, to answer Gabe's question about what am I going to do about it, I'm going to keep reading and studying, trying to find what makes up that difference.

Here's an open invitation -- even if you like something I wrote, do not be afraid to tell me if there is anything you think is weak. It may be too verbose, not verbose enough, poor choice of words, disturbing story flow, anything. For a lot of these things, I need an outside eye. Just like editing, it is easier for an outside person to pick these things up than the author, as the author reads what they want to see, and often will not see what isn't written.

[aj]

Ok, will do. As long as i get to point out the things i liked too.

cheers!

aj

[The Pecman]

I was not trying to denigrate my current work, or to complain about a writers block, but simply to say that I can see a qualitative difference between what I'm writing and other authors, and I'm trying to work out what to do to reach that "next level" of quality.

I was a reader long before I tried to write anything. The first time I had an inkling that I could write was when I took a junior college-level writing class (when I was a freshman), got hit with a pop quiz, and wrote an essay on a book I had never read before.

The next day, the teacher handed back our papers and gave me a C+ with the comment: "It's clear to me that you didn't read the material, but you did such a good job faking it, I gave you a C+. You've got some talent; you should be writing more."

I spent the next 20 years having two simultaneous careers -- one in LA working on bad movies & TV shows, and one as a technical writer for various magazines. I also began to read Net fiction in the early 1990s, but was astounded by the relative lack of good material.

When I did run into the rare good erotic gay stories, they often shared several common elements:

1) there was a solid plot there, beyond just the sex and relationships

2) the story veered off into directions I couldn't predict, holding my interest and keeping me surprised and wanting to read more

3) the characters grow and change as the story progresses, so that by the end, it's clear to see they're very different people by the conclusion

4) the stories were full of conflict -- not necessarily violence or arguments, but real drama that came out of the situation, and not something contrived, thrown in for effect. (You may not always like what I write, but I guarantee you, it ain't gonna be boring.)

and 5) there was an element of poignancy, maybe a sense of loss. I found the stories that stuck in my head were often those that weren't necessarily flat-out depressing, but at least left you with a sense of wistfulness at the end.

With both my novels, Groovy Kind of Love and Jagged Angel, I strived to get all of the above into my own work. It took many months of work, along with advice from friends and fellow writers (some of whom are here on Awesomedude), to edit the stories to the point where I was satisfied with them.

So, cutting to the chase, my advice is: see if you can distill what elements attract you in those stories written by others. Make a list, and dissect the stories to see how the author achieved those results. Then, come up with an original story idea and write it, bearing in mind the story and character points you want to make.

[Tragic Rabbit]

James, I don't believe I'm confusing style with quality. There are styles of writing that I wouldn't even attempt yet (and that's where TR has me in awe), but I'm going by the "feel" of the stories. Creative writing is ultimately about the ability to instill a feeling or sense of emotions in the reader through the use of words. I'm trying to improve my ability to do this.

Aww, thanks. I keep trying different things that come into my head, still looking for my 'style' or my 'voice', whatever that may be. Looking for ways to express visions or feelings that appear inside my brain. I'm experimenting and that's one reason, I think, that DC has slowed down to a crawl, it has a specific style and form and my head/heart want to flex in other directions. I still like the longer form of a novel but it's easier to experiment with short stories and poems since they're shorter. I want to find new ways, new for me anyhow, of sharing feelings from my inside with readers. New ways of seeing things that float around my head, see if other people grok them. And that's how I try to improve, that and reading constantly, online and off. I've always read and I do believe that reading is the best preparation for writing, that and writing itself as much as you can. Nothing like practice to make perfect, or anyhow improve.

Kisses...

TR