Doing Something - by Cole Parker

[Nick Deverill]

Yes! I was right. Not often I work out other folks plots. Thanks Cole for a darn good read.

[DesDownunder]

Can't say I am surprised, but I couldn't work out how we would get to where Cole has taken us so effectively, entertainingly and rationally.

[dude]

Thanks Cole for a darn good read.

Hmmm, I don't remember hearing the fat lady sing!

[Chris James]

Dude...I think the fat lady is in the wings warming up. Could Cole have ended the story here? Probably, because like the jury we have the evidence necessary to conclude the case. But there are things left unsaid and no one is walking off into the sunset just yet. And I agree with Des, I'm sure many of us had already decided who the bad guy would be. The journey through this story is well worth the read thanks to Cole. Now awaiting fat lady and sunset.....

[Nick Deverill]

Can't embed it (I did try) but to my mind, for a fat lady singing, this lady takes a lot of beating:

http://www.popmodal....d-Bless-America

To my mind, this song and lady in the film, "The return of Captain Invincible" epitomises the idea and is a better performance. But the song was written for the singer, and she did perform it many times.

As for the story, yes it could be ended with today's offering, but Cole always seems to round off tales completely, without falling into the trap of overdoing it. I'm sure there'll be a few smaller issues rounded off and I look forward to next week.

[Lugnutz]

Yes, it's far from done. No "The End", no fat lady singing.

[dude]

OMG! Kate Smith - the only lady (other than my Mom) I ever loved! How delightful to see and hear her again! WOW!!!

[Cole Parker]

As I've said several times before, when I finish, I append a The End as a final line. Always. I have somethingt like 40 stories on this site, and every one of them has a The End finishing it.

I hate ambiguity in writing, and don't want to be accused of it myself.

Anyway, did the story seem finished?

No, I didn't think so.

C

[Lugnutz]

Those of you that were waiting until the story was complete can now read.

Two thumbs up to Cole for writing an amazing story. :icon_thumleft:

And Des, the butler didn't do it.

[Chris James]

Only Cole could give us a story that leaves the reader with empathy for the kidnappers. It was easy to figure out who the bad guy was since from the moment he was introduced he was...well, a bad guy. But figuring that out did nothing towards helping us discover the major puzzle of the story and what happened to Carly.

Once again Cole has given us young heroes to admire as they cleverly figured out what was happening. That was a Hardy Boys moment for me, although they never had any lesbian characters in that old series. On too many occasions we think that kids don't have enough imagination, and then we meet these characters. Well done, Cole!

[Cole Parker]

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN'T YET READ THE STORY AND PLAN TO DO SO, DON'T READ THIS ENTRY. IT WILL RUIN THE STORY FOR YOU IF YOU DO. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

My sincere thanks to all who've commented about this story as it was unfolding.

I like to do something new, for me, with every story I write. Here, I wanted to use a stronger protagonist than I have in the past, and put him in a situation where he had to make his own way. I needed a strong character for that; a weaker one would have succumbed to his misfortunes at the beginning and moaned and griped and sniveled. This one set out to explore his surroundings and make what he could of his predicament.

I also wanted to show that two heads are better than one -- or in this case, four. Teens are social creatures, most comfortable when interacting with others of their ilk. I tried to create a situation where Troy couldn't have succeeded on his own. But, with a little help from his friends. . . .

I switched from present to past throughtout, present for the present, past for flashbacks, for what seemed to me a good reason: I wanted the reader to feel part of the action, and present tense puts you in the story to a greater degree than past tense. That was one reason. The other was I'd just read a book by Anita Shreve -- a great author, by the way -- that was in present tense and I loved the feel it gave me when reading her book. I was a little put off from the idea when, in the forum, a bunch of you said how much you hated it. But, I said, f*** it, it's mostly written, and we'll see what happens. I stick by the decision. I think it works.

My intent wasn't really to hide that Martinez was a bad guy. But I liked thinking people would imagine all sorts of things for him, and blackmail probably wasn't one of them. Very young children are kidnapped usually for one of three reasons -- to be sold to someone who wants a child, to be held for ransom, or, most commonly, because a woman's need for a child to raise has overome her rationality. I think the latter is terribly sad, if still evil. I could have gone either way with the kidnapper. I decided to do what is in the story.

Again, thanks for all the great comments throughout the run of this story. I appreciate it more than I can adequately say.

C

[Merkin]

I would like to salute Cole's great accomplishment in the writing of "Doing Something." I think writing a mystery novel is probably one of the hardest challenges any writer has to face, because he must come up with a credible storyline built around an authentic mystery. He must people it with characters that are believable at the same time they are actors in the elaborate dance that must take place in order to make the mystery realistic and its solution acceptable to readers. In addition he must play out the storyline in such a way that the reader stays involved right up to the finish line, which the writer must reach only after tying off all the loose ends and unexplained elements of the mystery. I think Cole has done this with resounding success.

In fact, I'd like to see Troy and his friends come back, after a little time off to be just kids, hot on the trail of another suspicious circumstance and tracking down another evildoer.

James

[DesDownunder]

Like all good mystery stories, Cole's story kept us wondering until the last scene.

The intrigue demanded our attention and was also enhanced, for me, by the way Cole used the tense; very clever.

This is one of those rare stories that can be read again just for the sheer pleasure the characters and story gives us.

As for the butler, the only reason he didn't do it was because he wasn't in the story.

[Gee Whillickers]

Doing Something is an incredible accomplishment on a number of levels. Cole breaks new ground here in his characterization, in plot, and in his pacing and storytelling. This is a wonderful tale and I found myself completely immersed and had difficulty putting it down to get other chores accomplished this weekend.

Not to mention, I'm pleased I managed my own little accomplishment, having avoided this thread and the story completely until it was finished, so I wouldn't see spoilers and so I could read it right through. I'm glad I waited, it was very much worth it.

Congratulations Cole on another wonderful story. And thank you.

[Camy]

Cole Parker, DUDE! Yet another wonderful tale you've spun. Brave, too, on your use of tense.

I'm so glad that SOB of a detective got his comeuppance. Once I sussed he was the baddy I was rooting for it, and you delivered in your inimitable style. ;)

Like others, I hope Troy makes a comeback at some point ... even as an adult. He's a great character.

Kudos!

Camy.

[Steven Keiths]

Great story on many levels for me. I liked the sexual confusion. I liked the resolution of the sexual confusion. Both seemed so real, much as I experienced my own sexual discovery. I liked the tension between Trevor, Chase and Tory. Well, the game young Trevor played I guess would be better than using 'tension'. I like mysteries, and this had that element added. As far as the computer lingo: it worked for me, but then what do I know. I think the only problem I had with the story--and it's very minor--was the distraught mother at the beginning and as the story unfolded, the mother didn't seem as though she would be. As I said, a picky point and did nothing to distract from our Mr. Cole's gifted story telling abilities.

[Cole Parker]

Thanks, Steven.

C

[Rutabaga]

I could have sworn I posted a comment in this thread recently. If so, it vanished into the blue.

Anyway, great story, as everyone above noted.

R

[Cynus]

This is quite interesting to me. My timeline is all sorts of messed up now, as I swear I remember being part of AwesomeDude when this story was posting, but yet I didn't join until the end of 2013 and this story was posted in 2012... Was there really that large of a gap? This was one of the stories that really inspired me and made me want to write more, and it shocks me that there could be that much time between this story and me starting at AD.

Either way, this actually one of my favorites. It's in my top three for Cole Parker stories.

[Cole Parker]

You guys are great. Without your support, I'd probably have stopped some time ago. Can't tell you how much it means to me.

C

[Cynus]

You guys are great. Without your support, I'd probably have stopped some time ago. Can't tell you how much it means to me.

C

Wouldn't say it if it weren't true. This story inspired me. As did EleCivil's Laika. Where the hell is he anyway?

[Cole Parker]

I wonder about him too. Hope, wherever he is, he's doing well and is happy.

C