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Lem, by Milos

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I put Lem, by Milos, on the Best of Nifty list several years back when I was in charge of it. Now, there is an extensive rewrite in process at GA http://www.gayauthors.org/story/milos/lem so I'm putting it on this First Alert forum. The rewrite is extensive on the several chapters I checked, with edits in each chapter numbering well over 1000. The completed story is over on Nifty

Lem is one of the stories of time and place. It's about a teenager growing up in the rodeo circuit in Montana, as I recall, and his relationship to his boyhood friend Mattie. The writing was the weakest part of the story, the setting and coming-of-age the best. The edits should improve the story.

If you like the story, remember to send your encouragements to the author.

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Thanks for the tip, VWL. I agree, this is a really fine story. I read the original back in 2008, and thought it was very well done.

In particular, the author does an exceptional job at establishing the atmosphere and feel of life in a small town in Montana. Taking something like the world of rodeo riding and making it real is very impressive -- and note that the author is apparently from England, which is even more astounding, given his command of the vernacular.

The original Nifty story was here:

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/lem/

for those who can't wait to read the ending, which is long and winding.

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I remember this story being advocated a couple or more years ago, and I started to read it then. I didn't finish it, but I don't remember exactly why. I know there was something, or some things, about it that turned me off. Perhaps, if some problems have been solved, I'll give it another try.

C

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Stick with it, Cole. There's some interesting payoffs. The pacing is problematic, because the story takes place over a period of about 4-5 years, but I really like the characters and the struggle, plus the description of small town life in Montana are really striking and evocative. If you know the movie The Last Picture Show, it kind of feels like that to me (only modern times instead of the 1950s, and Montana instead of Texas).

I just went back and re-read a half-dozen of the original chapters, and I was impressed and moved all over again. This is a very, very well-written story -- it really encompasses what I always comment on, that stories involving sex have to be more about mood and feeling than they do about body parts. And aside from some spelling issues ("patients" instead of "patience"), the writing quality is totally pro.

I'm still very, very curious if the author (who has a UK email address) is a Brit, or if he's an American living in England. The language, the attitude, and the feel of the story is 100% rural contemporary America -- really, really good.

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VWL wrote me an email and told me that he was posting this forum over here. I'm greatful to have another chance with this story, especially to set up the companion story over the next year or so.

I wrote the story in such a way that would reflect the local vernacular and a speaking style (inner monologue) of the main character. In editing, I have been able to keep the voice while making the prose flow a bit better. Also, there are additions and fixes here and there. (Forgive the patients vs patience error, I used to file paperwork in a medical office. I do that with isle and aisle, too.) :)

As far as the email address: I am an American. The email address is a relic from my time in college, when I was living in the UK. I have since moved over to gmail.

Thanks again for all the support over the years. You guys are the best. :3

Dave Milos

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Got it. You do terrific work, Dave. I liked the on-again/off-again relationships, the issue with the troubled teen who attempts suicide (which I thought was handled very realistically), and the rodeo background -- which was a world I knew nothing about. The multiple triangles were intriguing as well, and I thought the relationships played out in an interesting (and often unexpected) way.

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