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Jeff Ellis

Flash Autobiography

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Inspired by the last Line of Richard Norway's "The Wall"

I was 52

I was walking in Shinjuku, Tokyo.

I paused at a cinema, the clips in the window showed beautiful boys

A man said the cinema was on the sixth floor

A man came and sat next to me in the darkness

He placed his hand on my thigh, and then moved to excite me.

The first gay sex since I was a schoolboy.

Why did I wait so long?

Was the wait simply a maturing, growing into myself?

No... I think it was because what I wanted was impossible in 1960.

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So many years since I thought of this, Thank You, Jeff. Sitting in a theater in Shibuya with Kenji, I was 10, he was 9, and we held hands. The year was 1959, it was a Jerry Lewis film in English with Japanese subtitles...but Kenji was holding my hand as we laughed. I felt warmth in that hand, a sincere act of friendship. I didn't understand the feelings then as I do now.

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