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The Good Ship Venus

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These are the only verse I can remember, if you know of others you can if you wish add to it, I'd like to see them.

The Good Ship Venus

T’was on the good ship Venus

Good God you should have seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the captain’s name was penis.

Now the captain of this lugger

He was a dirty bugger

He wasn’t fit to shovel shit

From one ship to another.

The first mates name was Harper

He was a musical farter.

He could fart anything From God save the King

To Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

The cabin boy was kipper

He was a crafty nipper

He stuffed his arse with broken glass

And circumcised the skipper.

The Chief Steward was named Andy

And considered himself a dandy

They lashed his dick with a walking stick

For pissing in the brandy

The Captains daughter Mabel

Did all that she was able

She gave the crew their daily screw,

Upon the kitchen Table.

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