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Camy

Carr Dulm's Bane by Nigel Gordon

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That is one terrific, and has a very evocative title. The world-building was excellent, too. My only niggle is with the abruptness of the ending. On paper I'd be hunting for the next page.

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Really good story of the dark side being defeated, but I'll side with Camy. It is an abrupt ending, and needs expanding, even if it is just a description of their marriage in the Great Hall, with the theme from Star Wars, of course.

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Guest RBartlett

I really enjoyed this story. The way you described everything, I could see it clearly in my mind. However, regarding Pip's epiphany, how can he draw any conclusions from what took place? What if if the Bane spoke as it did because it was addressing Trevor as he's the one who challenged it? Sorry for being vague but I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone who hasn't read it yet.

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My apologies, I have made an assumption. A basic piece of magic lore is that everybody within a circle is equally responsible for the actions of the circle. Although Trevor is speaking the words of the challenge, the challenge comes not from the individual but from the circle and all within the circle are equally part of it. Need to go back and revise the story sometime to make the point clear.

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