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Gofundme - The Public Edition

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I just realized that I put the link to this in my private thread but had nothing public. To those of you that gave already, you have my undying thanks. To those that didn't know about this, you can help someone or a cause out. There are many on there.

My story is on my page, and if you could give, it would be very much appreciated. But if you can not, don't worry about it. I know people are not made of money. For me, it is for rent and bills and will not be wasted.

Here is the link. http://www.gofundme.com/txd5z2tc

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I need help. Several have helped already, but this does not end. My aid from other agencies could be a few months away. I have gotten limited help from a couple of MS places on my rent and I'm trying for more. I need to keep my rent caught up within reason. My landlord has been very gracious, but they would like to be paid too. I can't leave them unsupported. It's approximately 6 months behind so far. Trying to juggle this, and the bills I get is very hard to do with no income. Need to sell things to pay bills, and that well is getting dry. This is where you come in. I need your help. Can you do it? Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated.

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Looking for donors for my Gofundme page. I have Facebook and have it posted, but I can't reach a lot of people. If I had you put this on yours, that will expand my audience. Not wanting to get rich, just pay my bills and rent.

Here is my link. http://www.gofundme.com/txd5z2tc

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To the many that have helped, I bow to you. Problem is, the bills still come. I'm waiting on disability and state aid, but you can time them at the speed of smell. I can use the help. It's still hard to ask for because it's a guy thing to not ask for help. Some have given more than once which was a total surprise to me, but I'm past complaining about it. My hand isn't in their pocket. They do it of their own free will. If you're able, please help. Good karma is coming.

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I may have MS, but I'm far better off then many I've met on Facebook. For that, I'm grateful. My legs work more or less now. My balance is getting better and I have nothing that hurts or pains me. There are many MS patients who's legs that don't work at all or is limited in their use and need to use a wheelchair. I'm hoping to find some type of part time job. That is as difficult as it sounds. Figure an older man with mobility issues will not help getting employment. This Rebif sucks the motivation right out of you once you get the full dose of it. Just need to time the shots so I can still function on my off days. I still need financial help. I'm not sure how much longer it may be needed but will not turn down aid when it is offered. My problem is no income or job for one and a half years, you run out of things to sell to pay bills. State and Federal aid are in process but take a lot of time to get moving. I also need to keep my place, as cheap as rent is. Fun money doesn't exist in my world. My only goal is to keep living, literally. Many people have helped and I am grateful for that. Everyone has good intentions, but can they act on them?

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Without sounding like a broken record, I want to thank those who have helped, and those who continue to help. If your heart is in the right place, but your pocketbook isn't, don't worry about it. It would be great if you could, but don't get hurt in the process.

With your help, I've been able to keep up on my bills. My landlord is beyond gracious. I've been keeping track of rent since September 14 with rent paid and rent owed. I've been keeping the landlord informed and updated too. They help a lot. What I'm behind on rent makes me feel bad and I like to stay current or better, but going by the last year, it's no surprise that I'm behind. By a large amount too.

I need help to catch up with my rent until disability starts to come in. I'm hoping that could start in 3 months or so, but knowing how the feds work, that is a rough guess. It's good to know that I still have friends out there who care.

I am looking for a part time job that I can do reliably. I have been meeting with people from the MRS (Michigan Rehabilitation Services) to get me trained for a new position I would like to do. I'm anxious for that. I've been turning wrenches all my life. A new venture, I'm looking forward to when it happens.

Thank you for your continued help, and if you haven't helped, no pressure. If you can, you can. If you can't, no worries.

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To those of you that have and continue to help, you have my undying thanks.

I was told that I've been self centered. I can't see it but don't doubt it either. I've been in my car hobby so long and living alone kind of let me speak my mind. If anyone was hurt by this, know that it was not intentional. I'm finally seeing this. Living and being alone for a long time doesn't give you the sense of moral right and wrong or being rude. It's a product of being me, as unfortunate as that sounds.

The car obsession followed me into my personal life too without me knowing about it. I have no life. No surprise there. Being this old and finally figuring this out is an eye opener. Now, to do something about it. I've joked about taking up drinking, but my vice needs something else. I quit smoking six months ago. It's funny. I don't miss it. I was smoking for about 35 years.

This does not negate my need for help. That need is still there. If you are able to help, I would be eternally grateful if you could. If you're like me and have to stretch things thin, I totally understand it.

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As bad as it sounds, I have only had one donator in the last two months. And, it would be stellar if I didn't need any help at all. But alas, I do need it. I can't in good conscience, let him saddle this by himself. As much as I need the funds, it's getting harder to accept his help. I need help and he needs to know I'm not alone in my quest to live.

I've said this many times, thank you for your help if you have helped.

I'm trying to be a better person too. It seems that I was not so nice even in the recent past. I'm also looking for work, something I can do reliably.

I don't want my friend to do this by himself. Christmas is coming. Can you help a friend in need?

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I could re-post things I've said before, and none of that has changed.

I am grateful for the help I've received from many places. My problem is the funding situation. I am finally getting a little help thru the state to the tune of $200.00 a month. It helps a little, but bills accumulate over the almost 2 years of not having any kind of income. I've been selling some big things to pay bills in the beginning, but quickly ran out of things to sell. I don't know how I survived this long.

I've been on the Bridge card for a year and a half, so food is covered and I won't starve and received medical coverage not long after. After a lot of words from my friends and family, I finally went to the hospital and eventually got the final answer. I have Multiple Sclerosis. In the beginning, I thought I was being handed a death sentence but the nurses at the hospital got me turned around. I was in various places getting re-acclimated for five weeks.

Enough background. My landlord has been more than gracious seeing that that they have not gotten a full months rent from me for over a year. I'm four thousand dollars behind with them as of now. I've gotten limited help from organizations with my rent but even that reaches the bottom. I've had one person help me in the past 3 months. I've said this before. I'm grateful for his help, but I can't let him do this alone.

Can you help him help me?

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I had a stellar Christmas. Wasn't expecting anything, but I was dressed head to toe. Thank you for that.

With medication, my outlook on life has drastically improved since I started it in March. I still have dark thoughts at times, but they are fleeting and don't stick around long instead of constantly taking over my mind like it did for years before. I am grateful for that. It felt amazing to feel this good after being so awful for years. It's fresh air. On the minus, I missed my friends and family's kids growing up. Time to rebuild.

I also quit smoking for good in March. I quit before January/February but I was in the hospital then. This is for me. I quit cold turkey with no aids or help. I wanted to quit for a long time before, but didn't have a reason to then. When I got the MS verdict, there was my reason to quit for good. So far, it's been painless.

My only problem now is finances. I'm still at zero there. I got a little help from friends, but I can't live on good luck wishes. I do know where you're coming from when you need to watch everything. I'm fighting with what I have and that barely keeps my head at water level. I make it a point not to publicly mention my donors to protect them. I know who they are. If they want to be mentioned, they just need to say. I still need your help. For those that helped already, thank you for that. It is greatly appreciated. For those that want to help, no one is making this mandatory. It's free will. You do if you can.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on and on and on...

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I'll consider this as an update to my condition.

I'm as broke as can be, but I'm happy. My landlord is beyond grateful, but they are still needing rent. I've had a little help, but not near enough. I know many people are in a bad place too. I am extremely grateful to those that have helped and continue to help. Every little bit helps. That has been proven many times. Little things add up. But, I can't let a single person help me. I appreciate his help immensely, but am looking for help for him. I well know that there are people who are in just as tight of a place as I am. Everyone does what they have to to get by.

I don't know if it is the medication that gave me a new, positive outlook on life or if it is a change of mind and attitude that did it, but I am glad and happy for it. I've been very black the last few years and this is like a breath of fresh air.

I think I will always need help of some type and I found that I won't lose my man card asking. More fresh air.

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I haven't literally had two nickles of mine to rub together for over two years. Two years ago, I would be pulling what's left of my hair out looking for answers. This past year has been like fresh air to me. More positive. Some would say that it's a better living through chemistry. I think it's having your head in a positive place where you can do something about it versus all the negativity I had for years before, which eats you up and can't do anything about it anyway.

I'm still uneasy about asking for help, but I'm learning to ask for it. Every penny I've earned here goes to rent and bills. My opening line applies here. Many hands are in my pockets and instead of a happy ending I hoped for, it only gives me a month reprieve until the next time it comes around.

Can you help a brother out? I keep pulling at strings and am getting nothing. You can read my previous updates to see where I'm at and keep repeating myself.

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To those that continue to help, I commend you. Every bit helps.

I finally got the court date for my Social Security disability last week. It's only been almost two years since my denial. It's in a couple months, but I have a date now and my Lawyer can move forward.

I feel much better now that I'm getting my head screwed on right. It was a very dark few years before this. Not sure if it's the medication or a new frame of mind, but I won't complain. Fresh clean air is good. As dismal as things are, I'm in good spirits. Not a position I was in several years before when suicide looked better for me.

In case you missed it, here is my place. http://gofund.me/txd5z2tc

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It's been a year and four months already since I quit smoking for good. I of course didn't during my five week stay at various hospitals getting my body back in sync. The day I got out I lit up and went on it for two more weeks. You needed a reason, at least in your head to do this.

March 2 2015, I quit for good. The thing I figured out is you have to want it for yourself or it will never work. I wanted to for a few years but never had a reason too. When I was diagnosed with MS last year, I finally had my reason. Things smell and taste better now. Air fresheners actually do work I found out when I could eventually breathe right again after smoking for thirty five years.

To those that have helped me in the past and continue to now, I salute you. I may have bitten the bullet long ago otherwise. A little medication and screwing your head on right will do wonders for you. I know this first hand.

I still need your help if you are able. Surprisingly, I've made it this far. Thanks to friends that help and a stellar landlord. I would've been on the street long ago otherwise, or not even alive.

If you didn't have it accessible already, here it is.
https://www.gofundme.com/txd5z2tc

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How to say this without sounding like a broken record is tough. I am thankful for what I do have. It could be far worse. What I am trying to do is pay rent but that is near impossible with my bills that come regardless of position. My landlord has helped me tremendously but don't want to take advantage of that help.

My problem is that there is only one person helping me. I know it isn't good for everyone and I fault nobody. I take help when it's freely offered.

To the one that has helped in the last few months and to those that helped at the beginning, I thank you. I am getting limited help from the state but keep getting into a roadblock with disability. Been declined by them twice already.

I figured that I would give you an update on this and a little groveling thrown in to boot.

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To all, I am still alive and kicking. MS kicked my butt and cost me a job that I liked and was at for eight years. I would still be wrenching if this disease never took hold. Alas. This is my fate.

I still want to work and be of use to people but my body won't allow it anymore. I can't even look after myself without help from the state. They provide limited help. Not near enough in my case. Thus far, disability is of zero help. I was denied twice by them. This should be cut and dry but every MS case is different and has different degrees of mobility. Some can work while others wish they could but can't. My Lawyer has some tricks up their sleeve when I hit fifty in a couple months.

This is nothing you haven't heard before. I also know things are not well out there. Many people are feeling the pinch and can not help. That is understandable. They have good intentions. Most people would seem to ignore this plea for help and do nothing. I have two people that help me once a month but all of this can not be saddled on a couple people. They seem to be my only financial help the last year. I would like to increase the help by taking the load off of just two of them. Spreading it out more.

I've had help from the MS Society and the Salvation Army but those were a one time donation. I've tried thirty churches in my area but they never replied or gave one place that will not do anything for me if they reply at all. I'm tired of constantly scraping the bottom trying to get any kind of help but getting none. I'm worse off now versus two years ago but feel positive about it. Like it won't get me down.

What I'm trying to do is placate my landlord with something. I haven't paid rent in almost two years and don't want to take advantage of them any more than I have already. I haven't had any money of my own in three years. I don't go anywhere because gas costs money.

My only financial help has been Gofundme. I have been getting a lot of good information thru several places on Facebook. That has been a Godsend.

Spread the word.

Thanks for helping.

Jeff Browning

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There is a reason I don't advertise the donors address like I've seen on others pages. Most want to do this anonymously and never told me any different, only I know.

To those who have helped me for a year now, I couldn't have done it without you. Problem is, disability is taking their sweet time and the state doesn't help much. That's when I turn to my friends. Problem is, some of them are not in a much better position than my situation.

There are a couple that continue to help. I owe you my literal living to you. I can sometimes squeak by with that. It's only for bills and rent.

Rent has been very sporadic the last two years and that is pulling on me. My landlords are very gracious and haven't kicked me to the curb. They could've done this a year ago but didn't. I help them when or if I can. It's doing what is right.

I'm only asking, not telling you. Telling you this can invite distrust which is why I only ask. Some can help while others can not. This is a free will donation.

Can you help?

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What to mention this time? It always comes down to money or the lack of same.

 

The state decided to cut it's funding to help me. This means that I'll have zero income as of January 2017 even if I got only $200.00 per month before, it helped cover bills. This came to be because I am no longer with MRS (Michigan Rehabilitation Services) and they decided to stop my help there. This is what happens when you're honest. I got it to see if there was anything I could do reliably and ended up failing miserably in the end. I checked out several driving jobs this side of the state but never got past that point. I just didn't want it biting me in the backside if I did fib and messed it up. I'm still getting food help so my complaint isn't with that. It was the limited help I was getting from the state financial wise.

 

I had zero use for Facebook two years ago before I was diagnosed but I can't live without it now. I originally got it as a sales tool for my Gofundme but sidelined that almost from the go for the MS information out there. A lot of good MS information is given and received and more importantly, friends that you can talk with that share this decease. Some of them are local. When I was finally diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) in January 2015 I finally knew what the problem was and how unique it was to each person. I was getting worse and looked very bad. Not any longer. I figured this was my new start so go about it positively and not seeing the dark side as it was for several years before this.

 

In the end, it comes down to funding and what little I've got.

I know that it's not great for everyone out there. Can you help if you can?

tongue.jpg

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An update for you from where I'm at currently.

My landlords are God-like and can do no wrong according to me. I got a care package from them today and the whole family was here to celebrate. I'm leaving everything wrapped until Christmas because it would be a crime to open them sooner. I'm very patient and can wait.

And I'm going nowhere and am here for life. This is the most secure I've been in a long time. It feels good. I'm rooted and comfortable.  Help is only a phone call away.

Finances are tight but things work out. I get limited help which I'm eternally grateful for. I won't turn down help be it finances or something else.

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I was diagnosed as a threat from my brothers ultimately that if I didn't do something, there would be nothing left to rebuild. That suited me fine at that point. I was getting worse walking and holding on to things to get around the apartment and I had no answers for it.

January 13 2015 Tuesday
I was finally brought to the emergency room in Zeeland for initial testing and then ultimately later that day I was transferred to Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids MI for a more in-depth look though. My vitamin D was non existent it ended up being that and I was told that I was going thru a relapse. It was a combination of many things that put me in that position. I had two MRI's and a spinal tap to confirm that I indeed had Multiple Sclerosis. I stated there for a week getting IV steroids for a few days. I was there for one week.

January 20 2015 Wednesday
I was then transferred to Blodgett Hospital for my rehab to start. I was there for two weeks learning how to do things for myself again. Walking was an issue at the start but it gradually improved. That was my Physical Therapy. I also had Occupational therapy and Speech. I had little use for those at the time. Looking back on it now, they were helping me. They must be used to the negativity they got because they were always positive. I also seen other patience there that seemed to need them more than me.

February 4 2015 Tuesday
I was transferred yet again to a local place called Providence in Zeeland MI for more rehabilitation and to continue my PT, OT and speech therapy during my two weeks there. It was defiantly more lower key than the hospitals I was in. Most of the place was a retirement home and it felt odd being the young one there. I did leave with a new respect for the nurses there. I seen a lot during my stay. They also spared no expense on food there compared to my hospital stay. Yuk.

February 17 2015 Tuesday
Time to go home. Five weeks gone did effect me. It was before the meds came and it ended up being my lowest moment ever. I got used to not being alone and didn't know how to deal with it. I did eventually work it out. The new medication helped. No food in the house made me go to the store and replenish the cupboards. I went without smoking during my time away obviously but went back to it for two weeks when I finally quit for myself for good. March third will mark my second year smoke free.

On and on.
I was walking around the complex with my new cane by spring and went without it after a month and walked around the complex without it. The snow returned and that relegated me to the apartment because of ice and snow. I did make dumpster runs just to walk around. I have my things in the garage here and have eventually learned how much I can remain on my feet. That was more trial and error but sometimes still don't listen to my body. Doing the man thing and tough it out. This was a mistake as I found out.

Yes, I had my phone with me and logged the dates in. I know I'm forgetting many things and I'll blame old age on that.

To the people who have helped and those that continue to, you have my undying thanks. I still need your help and I know fund problems so if you can't help, I know where you're coming from as I know all about those problems.

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An update since it's been a while.

I lost my apartment and I haven't worked in the last 4 years and was not able to work. I was diagnosed with MS January 2015. But was eventually glad for it. It answered a lot of questions. I finally lost my apartment mid-november and moved in with my cousin.

 I'm living with a friend and have been since New Years this year. I lost my place at my cousins home but that didn't work and only lasted a month before getting kicked out. It was kind of expected but didn't know the when bit. 

 I'm getting around with a couple canes in my inventory and a walker. A walker is much more stable than a cane and if you remember to set the brakes, a seat. 

I couldn't do this without the help of many friends and sources, without their help I wouldn't know where I'd be, just not good. I'm getting $194 for food and $200 cash in state aid each month. 

A little help in the way of donations really eases the suffering. Not sure what gutter I would be in in the time but it's better now then how has been doing and I can finally breathe again. 

No rent or bills here, just help with my Bridge Card and look after the kat. I'm not putting him out at all. He cleaned out a room in the basement for me and all is well here. I know I'm leaving a lot of things out of this, just know that I am better here than I have been in long time. 

Jeff Browning

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