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larkin

Larkin needs short story help.

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I wish it was different but my stories do not appeal to everyone, even here on Awesomedudes. For that reason, I have included a story description, preface.

Sometimes think my stories are important. I try to write from reality.

I was just going to submit this story but figured that I would ask for editing help first.

I made an effort to tame and compartmentalize scenes involving sex but I consider them to be essential to the plot. The set and setting is Southern California around, 1990.

12 chapters, 20kwords. I can submit it using most Open Office or Word, docs.

Preface to, The Androgyno, (The Boy That Wasn't)

Probably for most, the main character in this story is not exactly boyfriend material. Josey may reflect aspects of yourself and if you are ill at ease or at ease with the character may influence whether or not you will be drawn into the story.

The main character is physiological a boy but a girl in many other ways. Some boys, through no fault of their own become obviously feminine as they grow into puberty. This can be a big problem, even a life threatening problem. What was it like? How do they pull through?

The premise of the story was that many men like androgynous boys just the way they are. This was my point of view and this was the story I wanted to write. The story fizzled for almost a year. I cannot write about sex change because it is not in my experience. If I try to fake it and get it wrong, the entire story loses credibility, so relax. At best, I only approached it.

Josey's eventual boyfriend, Clark, was all male who carried a gun. He was a tough guy and Josey's total opposite. Although he thought of Josey as a girl and treated him like a girl, he used him like a woman. As it turns out, it suited Josey just fine. There is something special about this affair.

If the main character opts for a gender change, would Clark maintain the same interest in her/him? There is the risk that he'd look for another androgyno. There are times in this story when gender pronouns float or change from one sex to another. This is not done as an affectation but as a natural liberation occurring only at special times. In other words, Josey could go either way but that will be saved for the epilogue.

The end can be left up to the reader.

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There are a number of people with the ability to delete threads that you could contact if you wanted that done, but I don't see any reason for it here. You're looking for someone to read and comment on your story. Because of the subject, you've realised that it's not going to appeal to everyone so you've provided the details needed for someone to make an informed judgement as to whether it's appropriate for them to help.

Personally, I'm not an editor (as my editor will be more than pleased to point out given all the errors he corrects). I'm also incredibly short of available time at the moment. I'm trying my hardest to work on my current novel and that's not progressing very fast so I can't in all honesty offer to review and comment on the story from a higher level, either. Sorry.

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Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see a very strong story here. Does Josey WANT to undergo physical sex change procedures? Why? Is the whole story a speculation on whether Clark will still want to be with Josey afterwards? Will Josey decide not to do it if Clark seems to not want it? What will be the cost to Josey in that case? What are the stakes for these characters either way?

R

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There are a number of people with the ability to delete threads that you could contact if you wanted that done, but I don't see any reason for it here. You're looking for someone to read and comment on your story. Because of the subject, you've realised that it's not going to appeal to everyone so you've provided the details needed for someone to make an informed judgement as to whether it's appropriate for them to help.

Personally, I'm not an editor (as my editor will be more than pleased to point out given all the errors he corrects). I'm also incredibly short of available time at the moment. I'm trying my hardest to work on my current novel and that's not progressing very fast so I can't in all honesty offer to review and comment on the story from a higher level, either. Sorry.

Graeme, It's not that serious, If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have made my appeal so embarrassingly blatant. For practical reasons, I still need an editor.

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Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see a very strong story here. Does Josey WANT to undergo physical sex change procedures? Why? Is the whole story a speculation on whether Clark will still want to be with Josey afterwards? Will Josey decide not to do it if Clark seems to not want it? What will be the cost to Josey in that case? What are the stakes for these characters either way?

R

You'd be right to wonder.

It is a spoiler preface to give an editor an idea of what the story is about. There are 20k words to the conclusion. The story deals with issues that not everyone is interested in. If Sifi is your thing, you're not going to want to be bothered with reality or street culture.

Editing isn't just about spelling and punctuation. It can be about getting a perspective.

Editing can also be critical assessment concerning, story structure, characterization and plot development and more importantly, understanding the story enough to say if you are making or missing the mark.

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The premise of the story was that many men like androgynous boys just the way they are. This was my point of view and this was the story I wanted to write. The story fizzled for almost a year. I cannot write about sex change because it is not in my experience. If I try to fake it and get it wrong, the entire story loses credibility, so relax. At best, I only approached it.

I'm not currently available for editing, unfortunately, though the base concept surrounding your story is interesting to me. My ex girlfriend was biologically male, and I learned a lot about transgender issues and what body dysphoria was like during our time together. I think it's a very interesting subject, and should be explored a lot more often, not only for the benefit of those going through it, but also to promote the understanding of those who have not. And so, with that in mind, I wish you luck on this story and also hope you'll continue to explore it.

And on that note, I wanted to address the point you made above, specifically "I cannot write about sex change because it is not in my experience". This is something I think you could work on, as all writers can work on. Many writers are limited in their scope of experience, and this is what research is for. Don't back away from a concept which will make your story stronger (Not saying it will in this case. That's for you to decide as the author), instead, delve into the subject deeper and learn about it. Watch interviews of people who've gone through the experience. Read articles about the science surrounding it. Learn it, so you can write it. You won't lose credibility, you'll end up gaining it, if you really care about the subject. That's my opinion, anyway. :)

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