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Random Observations

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A bit of fun thoughts to brighten the day:

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds ~ People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers ~ Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?

That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today ~ That makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.

I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators ~ We haven't met yet.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment.

Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room & remembering what I came in there for.


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