Batch of Blonde Jokes

[Tragic Rabbit]

A depressed blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A little bit later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asked her what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."

"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist,' said the onlooker.

"I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breath."

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?

A: More leg room.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?

A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE.

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.

Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.

They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.

About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."

Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should be

perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

One morning, a blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over and help me. I have this awesome jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." Her boyfriend asked, "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde said, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The blonde's boyfriend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place.

She lets him in the door and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then he studies the box. He turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these pieces to look like the picture of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow stepped on her.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little

gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at

the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"