Not zen koans, but should be

[Cole Parker]

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.

It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t your sport.

Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[Bruin Fisher]

So funny. Thanks Cole.

[Lugnutz]

Bruin is my buddy. He is never picked last in gym class.

[ChrisR]

If at first you do succeed, quit. Why risk ruining a perfect record? [And yeah, I'm 1 for 1 skydiving.]