The Busboy by Cole Parker

[colinian]

What I meant was a different fat lady that sings a different kind of song.

Colin

[Nick Deverill]

I would also include "On the High Plains of Wyoming," still one of my favorites.

That tale gets my nomination for best short story of any genre. There is something about the principle character that draws one in, coupled with the factual parts about the difficulties with long range marksmanship.

[Rutabaga]

Nefariouser and nefariouser.

R

[Rutabaga]

BTW the kiss is great. I was 17 before i had my first kiss with another boy.

R

[Cole Parker]

I aim to please!

C

[Rutabaga]

Damn.

R

[Rutabaga]

Not sure this is really a spoiler, since it refers to something in plain sight, but . . .

BTW now is a good time to go back and reread the Prologue.

If the implication is true, there are some very sick people at work in this story.

R

[Rutabaga]

Slimeballs.

R

[Rutabaga]

So I guess we now conclude that Ben Cooley is Tris's father, and Liz is his deceased mother.

And for those suspicious types (like me), there is grave doubt whether Liz's auto accident was really an accident.

R

[Rutabaga]

The plot thickens.

My biggest question for the last couple of chapters is whether the councilman that Ben works for is in on whatever trafficking is going on.

R

[Rutabaga]

Thicker still. What scumbags.

R

[Rutabaga]

We can see a spectacular confrontation coming.

R

[Rutabaga]

"And in the end . . . . "

I never know what is or is not a spoiler so I'll take no chances.

Ben proves himself to be not just a bad guy but a genuine sociopath. Even though we never learn anything to corroborate, the suspicion is overwhelming that the accident that claimed his wife (Tris's mother) was actually arranged by him and/or his cronies. More to the point, here he was ready to murder his own son.

A while back I read a fascinating book called "People of the Lie" by M. Scott Peck. He basically talked about people who were essentially evil, irredeemably so. Ben certainly would be a textbook case.

For someone supposedly so shrewd and clever, he seems incredibly careless. I guess having gotten away with all of the shady dealings for so long caused him to become too complacent.

One question I had raised earlier was answered -- evidently the city council member that Ben worked for was in on the scheme. It seems like the whole city government was involved. We've had examples of whole city governments that are corrupt here in the Los Angeles area, but here (as in the City of Bell) it was a matter of the insiders voting themselves astronomical salaries and unbelievably generous pensions. They didn't have to engage in drug or human trafficking.

I really liked both Jordy and Tris as characters. Cole has a knack for presenting teenaged characters who face challenges and rise to the occasion. It is rewarding to see young men demonstrate pluck, cleverness, and effectiveness. Jordy and Tris demonstrated different versions of this, but both showed their mettle.

Good show.

R

[Cole Parker]

Thanks, Rutabaga. I had a good time writing this one. Don't know if I have many full-length stories still in me. If this is the last, I can feel proud of it.

C

[Gee Whillickers]

Wow, that was just a wonderful story!

Or, to quote a line from a wonderful story I just read from an excellent writer:

“Wow!” Jim ejaculated. “Really! I knew there was something I liked about you.”

Heheheh.

Thanks Cole. That was really fun. The climactic scene was perfect.

[Cole Parker]

Thanks so much, Gee!

A couple of editors objected to Jim ejaculating like that, but I didn't quail at the adversity. I left it in. I figured if people didn't know that meaning of the word, it was high time they did.

C

[Chris James]

Thanks, Rutabaga. I had a good time writing this one. Don't know if I have many full-length stories still in me. If this is the last, I can feel proud of it.

C

Somehow I doubt the veracity of this statement, Cole. I have the feeling that like me you have dozens of story ideas rattling around in your brain. I think the proof of this is the length of what we each post now...a dozen chapters and the story wraps up. Why spread the story too thin when enough can be said in smaller amounts? That usually means something, some other idea, is begging for attention.

Perhaps you won't write a story with dozens of chapters, but I'd bet you could knock the hell out of a bunch of short stories. I think we both seem to find the possibility of a story in everything we see and hear. You could start posting two paragraph flash fiction and I am sure the readers would pounce on them. It is the entertainment value everyone seeks and you offer a great deal of that. Never surrender your talent, it would be missed. .

[Merkin]

Somehow I doubt the veracity of this statement, Cole. I have the feeling that like me you have dozens of story ideas rattling around in your brain. I think the proof of this is the length of what we each post now...a dozen chapters and the story wraps up. Why spread the story too thin when enough can be said in smaller amounts? That usually means something, some other idea, is begging for attention.

Perhaps you won't write a story with dozens of chapters, but I'd bet you could knock the hell out of a bunch of short stories. I think we both seem to find the possibility of a story in everything we see and hear. You could start posting two paragraph flash fiction and I am sure the readers would pounce on them. It is the entertainment value everyone seeks and you offer a great deal of that. Never surrender your talent, it would be missed. .

I second the motion.

[FreeThinker]

I agree. Cole is a gifted writer with a sensitive understanding of people and an empathy that gives his characters life and realism.

[Cole Parker]

I think we both seem to find the possibility of a story in everything we see and hear.

Thanks, guys. It's just that the words don't come quite so easily anymore. It's

funny—just when I'm reaching a point of better understanding of how to write these things, my interest in starting a new story and the work involved in producing it seem to be waning. But Chris's comment above is right on the mark.

I am currently working on something, but it's going awfully slowly. And I can't figure out if it's a short story or a novel. But that doesn't bother me nearly as much as it would have earlier in this journey. I'll simply keep trying to write it till it's done, if that's to be, and then whether it's short or long will have taken care of itself.

Thanks so much for you kind comments.

C

[Rutabaga]

Thanks so much, Gee!

A couple of editors objected to Jim ejaculating like that, but I didn't quail at the adversity. I left it in. I figured if people didn't know that meaning of the word, it was high time they did.

C

I always felt naughty glee reading Hardy Boys books in junior high school, because "Franklin W. Dixon" had people ejaculating (exclaiming) all the time.

R

[Cole Parker]

I read the Hardy Boys stories over and over—I guess that was the beginning of a career of rereading favorite stories—but don't remember anyone ejaculating. Not that I doubt you. It's just been too long.

Did you know Franklin W. Dixon was a pseudonym, but not the usual kind? The books were written by a number of different people working for the organization that published the books, the Stratemeyer Syndicate. They eventually sold out to Simon & Schuster. But there was no individual named Franklin W. Dixon.

C

[Rutabaga]

I read the Hardy Boys stories over and overI guess that was the beginning of a career of rereading favorite storiesbut don't remember anyone ejaculating. Not that I doubt you. It's just been too long.

Every Hardy Boys book I remember had people "ejaculating" where the meaning was "exclaiming in surprise." I don't recall seeing that usage anywhere else until this story.

Did you know Franklin W. Dixon was a pseudonym, but not the usual kind? The books were written by a number of different people working for the organization that published the books, the Stratemeyer Syndicate. They eventually sold out to Simon & Schuster. But there was no individual named Franklin W. Dixon.

I knew that because I met one of the ghost writers for Tom Swift books, Rick Sklar, who later became program director for WABC radio in New York in its heyday. I was sure the Hardy Boys books must have been produced the same way. That's why I have the author's name in quotes.

I wonder how Stratemeyer came up with names like Franklin W. Dixon and Victor Appleton?

R

[Cole Parker]

I always felt Franklin W. Dixon kind of classy.

C

[ChrisR]

I wonder how Stratemeyer came up with names like Franklin W. Dixon and Victor Appleton?

Hold on a sec here! This guy had a high-speed electric car in 1910, a cannon that fired a 4,000 pound projectile 30 miles in 1913 and a double-decker jumbo jet that flew at 1200 mph and at 400,000 feet in 1954 and your question is "where did they come up with the names"????

Geesh. You must be an author!