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Fear


Manic Mike

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So I went out tonight on a whim to the gay bar near my house. They were doing karaoke so I decided what the tell and put my name in the cue and waited my turn. Now I've been there plenty of times but always chickened out because I can't talk all that well. So as my turn approached I started panicking. What if they laugh at me? What if I mess up the words, etc. So when the DJ called my name I took a deep breath and started to sing Stand by Me. At first no one could hear because my voice was so weak, but after the DJ restarted the song I did better. Now my performance wouldn't have won any awards, but you know I had fun and took a major step in conquering my fear of talking in public. As I was leaving I got to thinking, What was I so afraid of? I have no more control of how people react than I do over the fact I'm black or that I'm bisexual. So my question to you is this: Why let fear rule us? How many times have you not done something because you were afraid of what might happen. How many times have we not gone after that special someone; how many times have we not wrote that story because we were afraid we weren't good enough to pull it off? FDR was right, the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself: living meaningless lives because we don't go after what we want.

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Thanks for that Manic Mike and Welcome to the Blogs at AwesomeDude.Your entry reminds me that over 15 years ago, I was made redundant in my industry and in my depression I decided to begin planning the extravaganza of my funeral. I thought it would be great to have the soundtrack from Land of the Pharaohs playing whilst my body was carried to its grave by 6 swarthy naked guys whilst friends gathered around to watch a pre-recorded video in which I would state some great philosophy of life and death.So what happened? After all I seem to be still alive. Well, I decided to not wait for death and made plans to make every moment of my remaining years an extravaganza. Then after a couple of bad attempts at employment and a few hiccups I found AwesomeDude. Well that wasn't all I did. I began to have fun by living the moment to the full. I dared to be me and it's great. Your experience with Stand By Me, is one of the best descriptions of what it is like to come out as a performer, a singer, an actor, a fresh young human, or an old one, who is just discovering their ability to live anew. Just like any coming out it takes effort to trust yourself, that it really will be okay, and it is.Thanks for reminding me of that.

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