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Someone always wants you dead


bi_janus

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I warned you I'd get back to it.

A number of people want me dead. I think the number has decreased over my lifetime, but still, quite a few people are in that company. They don’t just want to make my life miserable; they would really prefer I suffer a painful death. I don’t have enough economic value as a possession to warrant keeping me in servitude. Death is the solution because I may be a vector.

Many of them wouldn’t publicly condemn me to death or directly participate in the killing because of vestigial moral ambiguity about who deserves that ultimate penalty, but, given the right circumstances, they would look the other way. Since the invention of writing, records of those who should be killed have been available, and the list is impressive. Most of those bound with me for the place where blood spills have run afoul of religious prohibitions or judgments.

You might be listed at any moment. I’m on a list because of how I conduct my love life (it’s a very long list, and most major monotheistic traditions seem in agreement that I should be on it). The people who want me dead don’t yet have the legal means to allow them to act or have someone act for them, but that could change, and then there are some who would act anyway. Young people don’t seem as anxious to kill me, but they don’t seem interested in keeping me alive by voting either.

As in most of life, my situation is a little off center. I am a man married to a woman. I must have had sex with her at least once, because we conceived and raised a child. Under oath, she would have to admit that we had a lot of sex over a forty-three year relationship. We went to PTA meetings.

But, there’s also the complication; I’ve had a fair amount of sex with other men. I want to ask the moral jurists whether the acts cancel each other one for one. Or, does one act with a man put me on the list? If I lusted after or loved another man, would that be enough to get me listed even if I had never followed through? Did I pollute any true believers I pulled out of burning buildings?

Since we took the “’til death do us part” thing seriously and I have married only once, while many of those who want me dead are serial marriers, do I get some slack? Or, is bisexuality the most wicked betrayal because my life looked much like theirs, so that I should be exterminated before my monosexual gay brethren?

Does the fact that they may have known me and even liked me, disturb them more deeply? Does it anger them that I lived unnoticed among them or that I may have taught their children? I think this issue should be addressed in the Tea Party platform. God has been largely silent on the issue. People have written on his/her/its behalf, but I haven’t been eliminated in direct divine supernatural cataclysm. I think of the cancer as a perfectly natural process.

How should I feel about the fact that some people think I should be killed? I don’t think I’ll cooperate.

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