[Submissions Needed]

Hands grope for the bulge

And instantly disengage;

Must be a size queen.

[Shit! This ain't a poem]

No matter how long

I look at it

It doesn?t ring

Has it died?

Have I charged it?

Is it over?

Before the world

Became modern

I was happier.

Now it?s too fast

The rejection

That is

I didn?t do anything

Bad

Did I?

It?s not me

I didn?t move

Too fast

I?ll drink a martini

That?ll help

For now

This isn?t a poem

I don?t write them

I live instead

Still

I miss him

?Stupid I am

[cinque ? sept, by TR]

I like this---a lot.

[Joshua]

Beset by restless dreams of flesh and bone,

And awakened within a storm fronts lee,

What beautiful youth astride his throne,

Has the temerity to take embrace of me?

Should these own hands doth tenderly seize

At the vision parading upon my thought,

Seeking release from the whispered breeze

Of a reward that hasn?t, yet, been caught?

Would mine own blood lap at the parch?ed shore

And be found yearning the touch of suckling tongue

E?er that beautiful youth above the clouds doth soar

And maketh the very stars once again feel young?

These fortunes hath resided within my soul

Resurrecting the strength to make me whole.

[Online vs Print Novels]

Words like ?always? and ?never? are frequently problematic---I had to substitute the word frequently for always there. ;-)

Your point, Graeme, is a valid one as I?m sure most of us have read stories that started off rather slow or confusing but ended up being great reads. I think, however, that the author of the thread you mentioned was likely referring to manuscripts of unpublished authors, i.e. the difficulty that would arise in finding an editor who would persevere through a story long enough to discover it to be the gem; Especially when they have a mountain of other manuscripts on their desk begging attention.

A far as your story ?New Brother? is concerned, I don?t share your opinion that it doesn?t meet the criteria laid forth in this discussion. Its very first paragraph suggests that the protagonist has been thrown out of the home and even been struck by a blow. While you do not explicitly state that it was because the character was gay, it would seem likely (perhaps even obvious) to readers of this particular genre. Even if your readership isn?t a gay young man who fears, or has feared, that particular outcome in the process of revealing their true selves, you at least provided the tension necessary to grab anyone?s interest in the back-story to Adam?s situation. The fact that most of your readers probably ?know? that Adam?s discomfort arose from a conflict with a parent concerning his gayness doesn?t detract from the enjoyment of the process which leads us to the final paragraph where the truth of the matter is revealed. We (your readers) are appreciative of the types of stories that you and the others so admirably provide: they resonate with us. The fact that your first chapter of ?New Brother? included quite a bit of description wasn?t an issue for this reader, because I know the necessity of description for a long read, which I was anticipating. I agree with you that it might be a good idea to liven up the chapter initially if you plan to have it published. We don?t want those with the power to publish to toss it aside without a fair chance!

(Pardon the denseness of my comments, I am not an editor!)

Be well,

Louis

[Editor Wanted - Low Pay]

If one is looking for an editor with a sense of humor.

Not if one is looking for a primadonna.

Berkeley Romantic

[Editor Wanted - Low Pay]

Hello all you wonderful, masculine, hottie editors out there!

Guess what I need!

Louis (aka Berkeley Romantic)

[REGRET, by TR]

The cruelest part of gay adolescence is the penchant (arguably required in some environs) to deny ourselves the expressive release of our desire.

I, too, am filled with regret that I didn't bravely profess my own hidden yearnings. C'est la vie.

Nice poem.

[EAT ME, a dinnertime poem by TR]

My! Weren't you feeling a bit randy! LOL

Cute poem - :downtown:

[Ripples]

I liked this very much; relatively straight-forward and logical, with nice imagery. Cool.

[Me's a poem by Codey]

Codey,

Personally, change has always scared the living shit out of me. I can, therefore, appreciate your courage. But change happens and is inevitable--sigh--so how we deal with it helps define who we are. And who we will become. As long as you're approaching it with "wonderment and wide-eyed", I suspect the "me that?s meant to emerge" will be someone able to value the paradoxical beauty of ugliness. This ability is rare and should be cherished. Your "me" is going to be wonderful.

Your poem made feel good.

Louis

[Time for moving on]

4.33 H

Rapid pulses beat

As Hope?s inferno beckons

A chance to revive

Lost beloved youth

Found in the attic of grief

Remembering him

Falling leaves barrage

The hopeless passionate soul

Romance is bitter

Sweet fortune blowing

A breath of new life

Spins snowflakes across the pond

Stirring a boy?s heart

_

[Remembering Eric - A Poem]

Remembering Eric

Clouds? parted in deference allowing the moon?s light to fall

Upon the form of the boy that lay so peacefully below.

The gentle bed of boughs laid tenderly for him

By a lover?his lover?gazing at him in wonder.

The boy stirred at the presence and stretched out,

A hand seeking that which had so long eluded

His grasp, reaching for a dream's shadow and finding

It met, at last, by warmth and satisfaction.

The lover smiled upon the form, accepting the hand.

His own, speaking affectionately without words

Soothing the fluttering breast, silently consuming

Fear, gently overpowered the willing boy.

[The Little Brown Sparrow]

Justyn,

I wouldn't worry too much about the ands and the thans, et al. While it could possibly be said that the wording of your poem could be modified to increase its impact and flow, it is wonderful as it is; particularly considering the youth of the author. There is beauty in little imperfections; anyone who has been in love knows that.

[Logic.]

:D A fine example of Redneck Logic.