[New user, New story.]

Hey, thanks!

I found someone to look over my stuff now, which should make things better in future.

I have started, and am about half way on part two. I havent had my 'editor' look over it yet, but would appriciate of people could just have a quick read and tell me if I might have made some of the mistakes I made in part one, again. I tried to cut down on off topic detail, but I'm not too sure it worked

http://www.geocities.com/aleksas_5555/story2draft.html

Thanks for the advice/help.

Lex.

[New user, New story.]

OK-- First of all thanks for all the replies and support!

I have re-written the first part as desert dude suggested. I've uploaded it and hope that I have managed to keep everybodys suggestions in mind!

http://www.geocities.com/aleksas_5555/story1fix.html

I still dont think I managed to catch people in the first few lines though...

Anyway, hope its better!

Lex.

[New user, New story.]

How would you propose I catch them in the first few sentances. I admitt i probably didnt do it, but I dont really know how... (lol)

Thanks to everyone for the support

Lex. :evil:

[New user, New story.]

Merci merci!!

Thanks for the positive feedback :D

Only thing I can say is be lucky you saw it after the spellcheck... lol. Simple reason being I love to mix english up with the other languages I speak and often dont even realise that Ive used words that dont really exsist in any langauge.

Either way, Im starting on the next part today and hope to have it done ASAP. preferably before the holidays are up!

Thanks again

Lex.

[New user, New story.]

Hey.

I found out about the site recently from a friend, that had noticed it and recommended it to me because I enjoyed writing. I thought it would be a good idea to see what people thought of my writing, and to get ideas from other people and their writing.

Either way, I hope I have posted this in the right category:

I would have liked if a few people could read over my story and tell me what they think about it.

http://www.geocities.com/aleksas_5555/story1fin.html

This is my third real attempt at gay writing, and the first one wher I would be getting genuine replies and opinions off people.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their time

Lex.