Altimexis
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Posts posted by Altimexis
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2 hours ago, Joe said:
And what's wrong with cuff links anyway?
Nothing… if you don't mind loosing one now and then.
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Thanks so much for your comments, Cole. I could say much the same about your stories. To me, the believably of a story depends very much on accuracy. Lord knows, when you're already straining believably with prodigies who are seniors in high school at the age of ten, everything else better be perfect. It used to be that research for a book meant weeks spent at the public library, sifting through card catalogues and combing ancient stacks, almost crying when a book one needs was checked out years ago and never returned or replaced. It used to mean going to the local newspaper office and searching through unindexed stories on microfiche. It always seemed back in high school that I picked topics that couldn't be researched with a single trip the the high school library. But I digress…
It always amazes me when authors write about things they know little about and don't take the time needed to check the facts. My readers expect better of me and they certainly let me know when I mess up. Laziness is no excuse when the entire knowledge of the world is virtually at our fingertips. For example, today I was considering introducing a character in my NY series who was an Ethiopian Jewish American. I remember visiting an Ethiopian synagogue in New York with my confirmation class, but that was nearly fifty years ago. Since then, more than 100,000 African Jews have immigrated to Israel, leaving only 4000 remaining in Ethiopia and Eritrea. Only 1000 remain in the U.S. and the only remaining congregation is in Chicago and it only has 200 members. There are foods, musical instruments and holidays that are unique to Ethiopian Jewry, and in October 2018 there was a festival held in New Jersey that attracted hundreds of young people who experienced their culture for the first time. It took me about an hour to research this via Google and Wikipedia, but fifty years ago it would have taken days or weeks to find all this out. In the end it saved me from introducing a character that wouldn't have been sustainable in the way I'd envisioned him.
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I've enjoyed all of Bi-Janis' stories and particularly the Goldendale novels and long short stories. They're quite moving, each one in its own way. The one issue I have is that there four stories covering five generations at least, which means the total time span is on the order of a century, which doesn't quite fit with the other elements of the stories. Obviously, there was some artistic license taken here.
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I'm putting the finishing touches on a five-part novella that continues the saga of a the boys of New York City. With Kyle's dads, Jake and Ken, getting married and their honeymoon in the offing, what could be better than spending ten weeks in Europe? Kyle and his brother, Roger, are invited, and so is Kyle's boyfriend, Freck. As Jake and Ken put it, what better way to enjoy Europe than through the eyes of their sons. But Freck is about to begin a journey of self-discovery as he realizes he still has a fair bit of healing to do, and discovers that having a Jewish boyfriend is only a part of his connection to the Jewish people. Stay tuned for Funny, You Don't Look Jewish, coming to AD soon. And be on the lookout for a Thanksgiving tale as well.
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Cole swore he'd never write a sequel, yet he wrote Another Summer in Georgia. Never say never.
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The next story in the New York Stories series, The Cajun Asian, will be posted soon. A lot happens in this story, including the completion of renovations to Seth's family's apartment and a surprise fifteenth birthday party that accidentally becomes clothing optional. No orgies, though, as everyone will be way too busy watching a Star Trek marathon. Gary is finally set to realize his dream of opening a Cajun restaurant when tragedy strikes, and it falls to Seth and Asher to turn the dream into reality.
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Oops, since the story is being posted first at CW, I posted my own review over at the CW forum, not realizing there was already a thread going here. There isn't much to add, though, as most of my concerns have already been expressed by everyone else. I would definitely note the following, however, as I would have thought the school would've been much more involved from the getgo:
From the beginning, something seems a little off, and it has nothing to do with the writing. The situation the protagonist finds himself in is horrible - so horrible that he completely shut down for seven weeks and didn't even bother to notify the school of what had happened. Perhaps I'll turn out to be wrong about this, but things can't all be what they seem. For one thing, why didn't the school reach out to him? Yes, Edison is supposed to be a big high school, but an entire family being killed in a home invasion should have been big news. Surely someone - a teacher, the principal or Kevin's counselor would have been aware of the situation. Why would the school have treated him as AWOL? I went to a high school with 3600 students in three grades, yet when my dad died of a heart attack, my U.S. History class sent me flowers. A couple of my teachers came to the funeral. The principal sent me a card. No one expected me or my mom to notify the school of my absence. A few days later, my counselor called to see how I was doing and to ask when I'd return. Colin has gone into exquisite detail with this story as he always does, so this is truly a glaring inconsistency that perhaps portends greater mystery ahead.
And as everyone else has already noted, the kid's in danger:
Kevin's family wasn't simply murdered - they were executed. Their killers marched them out of the house, lined them up in the back yard, had them lay face-down and then systematically shot each of them in the head. Startled robbers don't do that. Crazed druggies, high on PCP, don't do that. Kids undergoing a gang initiation don't do that. This was a carefully planned execution. The only reason Kevin wasn't killed supposedly was that he was away at a tennis match as I recall, so I think it's probably safe to assume that in some bizarre plot twist, Kevin wasn't the killer. But if this was an execution and if the perps are still at large as we've been lead to believe, why isn't Kevin in danger? Would the police really let him move back into his house so soon after the crime? Are they really that inept, or are things not as they seem?
One thing's for sure - or maybe not - the way Colin left the end of Chapter 11 seemed pretty ominous.
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It's been a while since I posted something here, but Life Can Be Lonely by Colin Kelly is an interesting story that at first blush seems like yet another of Colin's brilliant, feel-good stories. Without giving anything away, from the beginning, something seems a little off, and it has nothing to do with the writing. The situation the protagonist finds himself in is horrible - so horrible that he completely shut down for seven weeks and didn't even bother to notify the school of what had happened. Perhaps I'll turn out to be wrong about this, but things can't all be what they seem. For one thing, why didn't the school reach out to him? Yes, Edison is supposed to be a big high school, but an entire family being killed in a home invasion should have been big news. Surely someone - a teacher, the principal or Kevin's counselor would have been aware of the situation. Why would the school have treated him as AWOL? I went to a high school with 3600 students in three grades, yet when my dad died of a heart attack, my U.S. History class sent me flowers. A couple of my teachers came to the funeral. The principal sent me a card. No one expected me or my mom to notify the school of my absence. A few days later, my counselor called to see how I was doing and to ask when I'd return. Colin has gone into exquisite detail with this story as he always does, so this is truly a glaring inconsistency that perhaps portends greater mystery ahead.
Now for some spoilers:
SpoilerKevin's family wasn't simply murdered - they were executed. Their killers marched them out of the house, lined them up in the back yard, had them lay face-down and then systematically shot each of them in the head. Startled robbers don't do that. Crazed druggies, high on PCP, don't do that. Kids undergoing a gang initiation don't do that. This was a carefully planned execution. The only reason Kevin wasn't killed supposedly was that he was away at a tennis match as I recall, so I think it's probably safe to assume that in some bizarre plot twist, Kevin wasn't the killer. But if this was an execution and if the perps are still at large as we've been lead to believe, why isn't Kevin in danger? Would the police really let him move back into his house so soon after the crime? Are they really that inept, or are things not as they seem?
One thing's for sure - or maybe not - the way Colin left the end of Chapter 11 seemed pretty ominous.
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The saga of the boys at Stuyvesant High School in New York City continues this weekend and next with two new stories. First up is a long one - just shy of 25k words - Bullying Starts in the Home. This poignant tale picks up the story of Clarke, the bully who slugged Asher in gym class. The following Saturday will feature a much shorter tale about the rekindling of love long lost - Reminiscing About the Future. A third story is in the works and will be posted later in the summer - The Cajun Asian. There will be more to follow.
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It amazes me how different authors go about writing their stories in different ways. On the one had there are authors like GA's Comicality, who writes long soap opera-like stories that never end. On the other hand are authors like Merkin, who writes very brief stories and stitches them together to form a whole. Some authors start posting long before a story is complete, and others don't publish until the story is finished, edited, beta read and reread. My favorite genre is writing short story collections, as I can write each story as an independent unit that builds on previous stories, without worrying where the series may be heading. However, I've also written full novels such as Legacy and Conversations with Myself, which was the most complex story I've ever written. In both cases I had a clear vision of where I wanted the story to go, but both took unexpected directions and the endings ended up being dramatically different than originally planned. Some authors use an outline to be sure they stay on-track. My stories are mostly character-driven and can be as unpredictable as the characters within them. I like to think that makes the stories seem more real in the end.
Alan, your story was excellent as always. I agree with Merkin that the first semester in college was the right place to end it. The final paragraph was probably something better left to the imagination of the reader, but it's your story to tell and not mine. I'd love to see a sequel to Unfinished Symphony - that was a great story! For a lot of authors, once a story ends, they prefer to move onto something else. Others write endless sequels because they can't let go. Since I tend to write short story collections, I'm always writing sequels, but I always bring my stories to an end. Sometimes a reader suggests something I hadn't thought of and that becomes the basis of a sequel.
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I loved how this story progressed, but the last chapter sure seemed rushed. Perhaps there wasn't much more to say about Tyler's education, but it felt like Alan just wanted the story to be over. Further, summarizing the rest of Tyler's life in a single paragraph only heightened the sense that there was a lot left out. I've read quite a few stories where the ending feels rushed and the reader is always left with the feeling that they've been shortchanged. In many ways, I think it's better to end a story sooner and to leave some threads hanging, so long as the ending is satisfying. Alternatively, the entire story can be told as a flashback, which provides a framework for summarizing things in the end.
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On 2/4/2019 at 8:57 AM, Rutabaga said:
Getting back to the original subject, I'm happy to see this story revived as a Valentine Pick from the Past.
R
Me too, and gratified.
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I've really loved this story since it was first posted seven years ago. It's one of Cole's best short stories. It's particularly apropos today with xenophobia on the rise around the world, and Trump trying to build a wall to keep all those 'depraved' refugees from entering the U.S. and raping our women. I wonder if the Canadians will build a wall to keep the Americans out, should the worst predictions of climate change come true. Demonizing whole populations has always been a favorite tool of the demagogue. Why should America give shelter to a poor Muslim boy from Kyrgestan, and his whole family? Why should we offer refuge because he says he's being prosecuted because of who he is? He and his family should have stayed and fought for their rights. They're probably just economic refugees anyway.
I doubt Cole could have foreseen the Trump presidency or the rise of the political right worldwide, but he did such a superb job of putting a human face on a refugee family - one with a persecuted gay kid.
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I loved this story, but I wondered, do girls still wait for boys to ask them to a school dance? Perhaps it's different elsewhere, but I was under the impression that here in NYC, it goes both ways now.
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Trek or Treat and Thanksgiving Dinner tell the story of two New York gay teens who come together through a shared love of Star Trek, Classical Jazz and a penchant for endless discussions of controversial topics. The story will continue with the posting of three more stories in the coming weeks. Thanksgiving Dinner introduces a new character in Part 3, Kyle, a nearly 10-year-old who understands advanced calculus and can read at a 12th grade level. He's also 100% certain that he's gay, but with no love at home, has very troubling thoughts about his future.
In Chanukah Gift, we'll meet 'Freck', a freckle-faced nearly 12-year-old gay high school sophomore with a troubled past that includes drug use and a nearly successful suicide attempt. The theme is serious, but the story is written for all ages to enjoy. Could love be the greatest Chanukah gift of all?
Christmas Storms is another 3-part novella that continues the stories of Asher, Seth, Kyle and Freck. As might be expected, the storms are both figurative and real. All four boys will become closer to their boyfriends and as friends to each other. Freck will discover his true calling and Kyle will realize where his future should lie. Asher and Seth's relationship will continue to grow as they prove to be the best friends Kyle and Freck could ever have.
New Year's Resolutions will be the concluding chapter in the saga of the New York kids, although I never rule out the possibility of future stories based on my characters. What starts out as a bet ends in a New Year's Eve party in which all the boys dress in drag and all the girls dress as boys. Much fun is had and a lot of things are resolved, but a surprising reconciliation is the main theme at the end of the day.
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23 hours ago, Rutabaga said:
Though it has been years since I lived in Manhattan the geography seemed authentic.
I also discovered that my Trek knowledge is incomplete, at least as concerns the very latest reboots and re-imaginations. I was in high school when the original series came out on NBC, and to me that's still the standard by which to judge newer versions. Somewhere I still have the spiral note pad that Gene Roddenberry autographed when he came to speak to the English majors at my college.
You wouldn't believe how rapidly things are changing in Manhattan. It's a little hard to tell from the panorama shot I used at the head of the story, but the dominant building in the foreground is a new 80-story condo going up on the site of the old ParhMark grocery, which was destroyed by Sandy. It's not exactly a spot I would have envisioned for a luxury building either. Although it borders the FDR and East River, It's basically surrounded by housing projects. Such is the value of the land in Manhattan. There are three more apartment buildings planned along the river, with significant neighborhood opposition as you might imagine. Battery Park is highly built-up with luxury apartments, in spite of being in the worst flood plane in the city. There are so many young couples living there that you have to watch for women on their smart phones with baby strollers, crossing the street. It used to be a daily hazard I encountered on my way to the Holland Tunnel.
The original Star Trek aired when I was in fifth through seventh grades. It was truly groundbreaking but it was done on such a low budget that the mechanical doors on the turbo lifts were operated by hand, quite literally. There is at least one instance where a stagehand's hand is visible in the final take. The planets they visited all looked about the same, with only the background changing, and there were never clouds in the sky. The bridge of the Enterprise was so low-tech that it didn't even match the sophistication of most automobiles of the era, which were already pretty low-tech. Of course where the series really shone, and occasionally crashed and burned, was with the plot. Some of the most memorable episodes, both good and bad, were from the original series. The Alternative Factor, for example, has to be just about the worst episode ever done in any series of all time. The Next Generation was undoubtedly the most polished of the series. Jean Luc Piccard was what I picture a starship captain would be, and the bridge of the Enterprise looked like I'd expect a 23rd-century bridge to look. Voyager took the cake for special effects - dozens of Borg cubes in one scene - nothing could beat that. Time will tell with the new series.
I have an autographed photo of Brent Spiner as Data, but an autograph of Gene Roddenberry himself - wow!
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Interesting… I wasn't aware of that. From now on I'll make an effort to avoid sentences comprised of incorrect words. Only the best words will compose my sentences.
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Halloween is one week from today, and I have a new story to post on the very day. What happens when a thirteen-year-old New Yorker who's stuck at home giving out candy on Halloween, opens the door to find another lonely boy on the other side? Even better, the boys are both Star Trek fans. Time for a little Trek or Treat. Then come back the following week for the start of a three-part novella in which Seth and Asher decide that, since their parents are too busy to prepare a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, they'll prepare one for themselves. Throw in a friendly bet on whether or not they can tell the difference between vinyl and digital music, and several 'friends' who manage to invite themselves to their quiet, traditional meal for two, and you have the makings of a memorable Thanksgiving Dinner. What could possibly go wrong?
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Wait a minute! I thought Coming Attractions were supposed to be closed to discussion. Not about date formats, who's coming, and when!
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14 hours ago, Oliver said:
I wanted not too much, because I have to write for my own site in Dutch. Not too much distraction.... ?
There was one chapter, that couldn't do any harm, could it?
You should have known better. There is no such thing as "just one chapter" when it comes to Alan Dwight's writing.
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14 hours ago, Oliver said:
I wanted not too much, because I have to write for my own site in Dutch. Not too much distraction.... ?
There was one chapter, that couldn't do any harm, could it?
You should have known better. There is no such thing as "just one chapter" when it comes to Alan Dwight's writing.
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My Incredible Summer is another Cole Parker masterpiece that illustrates just how inadequate the rest of us are as authors. We all tend to alter the use of language to fit out characters, simplifying it for kids, altering it for the uneducated or those born elsewhere, but how many of us can so dramatically change language usage over the course of a story so effectively to reflect the evolution of the main character. I've made allowances for changes in language over the course of a character's lifetime, but I've never changed it so completely to represent a character's evolution over just a few months.
The story starts out with Jody as an unfocused young teenager with nothing much to do during the summer vacation before his last year in middle school. His language is tangential, he flits from one thought to another aimlessly, changing the topic several times before getting back to telling the original story he set out to tell. There is no real substance to his speech. In short, Cole created a character who was so annoying as to make me seriously wonder whether or not I wanted to continue reading. But this was Cole's story and I knew I'd be rewarded if I just stuck to it, and I did.
The transformation in Jody over the course of the story is remarkable, as he evolves from a timid, self-absorbed, apathetic young teen to a confident, self-assured, out and proud young man in love with a guy who complements him well. The change in Jody is gradual, yet remarkable. The entire tone of his language, his demeanor and his use of words changes completely.
Incredible.
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Pick of the Bunch by Ivor Slipper is a beautifully written story, but you'll need a full box of tissues for it. Definitely more than a few tears shed at the end.
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On 8/12/2018 at 9:32 AM, dude said:
I don't believe - however - that a young author, who devotes a goodly percentage of his busy waking hours to providing an upbeat website and reading material for gay and questioning young people, should try to take on every aspect of every social issue in every story.
Heavens, I wouldn't expect Colin to make every story a fable. What he writes and how he writes it is up to him. I do love to play devil's advocate, however, and can be quite a devil myself. On the one had there is teenage behavior, which Colin captured so well with this story, but on the other hand is the reaction of the reader, and that can have unintended consequences. I'm not faulting Colin for writing a very entertaining story. However, some younger readers, particularly at CW, might come away thinking how cool it was that the boys got away with it and became boyfriends too. I don't think anyone would come away thinking that it's OK to play with a gun, but a lot of the younger readers wouldn't know why the gun went off. I do have a bias here, having taken care of many gunshot victims during my career. I've helped kids paralyzed by a bullet to cope with life in a wheelchair. I've seen kids die. Saving even one kid that fate would be well worth adding a paragraph or two to the story.
I'll never forget the time that Mike censored a story I wrote that contained a detailed account of a kid slashing his wrists. He didn't succeed by the way, but his attitude was detached and his account of the whole thing was rather clinical. I wrote the episode the way I thought the protagonist would have written it, but it was a virtual how to account on slashing one's wrists and in very poor taste. When Mike called me on it, I changed it immediately.
I really do hope that Colon writes a follow-up story. It's not that A Hole in My Ceiling needs a moral per se, but the consequences of trying to cover up what happened could be very entertaining in and of themselves. I'd also love to see blame placed squarely where it belongs, with the father who unwittingly gave his son a loaded gun.
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An Unexpected Christmas by Cole Parker
in Readers Rule!
Posted
As we all know: Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it - George Santayana
I was fortunate to have a U.S. History teacher in high school who believed in learning through exploration. The only assigned text was a paperback version of Richard Hofstadter's The American Political Tradition, first published in 1948 but very much applicable today. We spent much of our time in the library writing essays on key topics that forced us to learn history, not as a series of events and dates, but as an interrelated series of causes and effects, explored from different viewpoints. It was one of my hardest courses, and one of my all time favorites.
Unfortunately, the only teacher for World History in our school had a reputation for destroying kids' self-esteem and I never did well under teachers like that, so I skipped the course, which wasn't required. I learned the subject matter on my own through extensive reading over many years. Unfortunately, there are gaps that persist to this day.