Kapitano
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Posts posted by Kapitano
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"Good Morning."
Nice pillow. Soft and warm, feels creamy and fat, smells slightly of lemon. I drift off again.
"You look so happy there. There's tea on the table if you fancy it."
Duvet. Thick and hugging, clean and safe. I nuzzle further in, grinning and mumbling before fading back to sleep.
"I could stand and look at you all morning, and from the looks of things you could snuggle there all day."
Nice pillow. His voice, not sure I know it. Sheets lovely and...
...his voice. Whose voice? Whose duvet? Whose bed?!
My eyelids fly open, but my eyes don't move.
"Oh good, you are awake. Drink your tea, then we can see about breakfast. There's a shower if you want one."
The room is a burnt orange, black and white photos of old movie stars on the wall. The sheets and bedside table are white, and there's a steaming mug next to the alarm clock, which reads 09:34.
"Um", I hear myself say.
He smiles. He's wearing a red stripy dressing gown and carrying a second mug with a picture of Garfield. Straight greying hair and a slightly lined face with stubble,
And I do know him. I...know him. The hair on his chest, the smell, the taste of...
"Uh!", the syllable breaks out of my throat. Then after a strangled pause, "I'm not gay!"
I'm embarrassed as soon as I blurt the words. I feel my face flushing, and I'm intensely aware of my nakedness.
...the way his arms felt when he hugged me, the lips that...
He smiles again and shrugs a little.
"Okay", he says.
...his fingers stroking my hair...
"Um, gotta go. Gotta go. Sorry. Where's my clothes? You're a nice guy and all but I'm just not like that, must've been drunk, yes, yes not that I don't like guys who like, who like guys like that but I'm just not...thanks for...thank you but...my jeans, where..."
I furiously realise that I'm crying. Crying in front of him, helpless and stupid. I try to hide my face and turn away, ashamed, pathetic.
He carefully puts the mug down and sits on the bed, putting a hand on my bare shoulder.
"I'm sorry", he says quietly, "I didn't realise. Was this your first time? You seemed so confident last night."
I look up, somehow resentful that he thinks I was a virgin, mixed with shame that I let him see me like this, and fear of his hand on me. I'm angry at him for what he did last night, and angry at myself for letting him do it, and angry at him for making me enjoy it, and ashamed of myself that I did.
I'm shaking, tears are pouring, and his arms are around me once again. Holding me, saying nothing, stroking my hair. Stroking my hair.
We stay like this for what feels like a long time. Slowly the tension and pain flows out of me, and I'm left only with the sense of being with someone who cares for me.
Eventually I pull back and he lets me go, but still holds onto one hand. I don't want him to let go, but I don't want him to know that.
"Feeling a bit better?", he asks.
I nod, and manage a rueful smile.
"My name's Tom", he says, "What's yours?"
I sniff and wipe my eyes. "James."
"Pleased to meet you, James."
We drink our tea.
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Religions like this drive me totally F-in' batty. Of all the awful things in the world to worry about, they're concerned about this?
The leadership of a group often fixates on something trivial precisely to distract the membership from more important things.
Also, a collective panic in the group and the isolation of a scapegoat can be good for internal cohesion.
Oh, and it's not limited to religious groups.
The story of the calender is actually over a year old. But it's only now the Mormon leadership is whipping up a fuss over it. Hmmm, I wonder why.
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There are entire communities in India and Africa that live like that. They literally make their homes in garbage dumps - the only places they can afford to live. Life expectancy is not high.
I just find it interesting that CNN presents a story about one person living in rubbish as a novelty, while ignoring the, shall we say, bigger picture.
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I'd wager every one of us here has felt just that. And half or more have found themselves sitting with a razorblade, trying to figure out the best place to cut. Maybe more than once.
But it's difficult to describe in a way that isn't bombastic, or whiny. It's difficult but you've done it. So congratulations, and thanks.
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Phone conversations or dreams/memories or "telepathy" or voices far away can sometimes use paragraphs in italics, which is why I felt it was fine in Des' story.
Piers Anthony, in one of his science fiction serials, found a way to indicate that communication was coming from some source other than human vocal apparatus - telepathy, creatures that communicate by touch, or by light pulses etc. He used "pseudoquotes".
That is, symbols from elsewhere on the keyboard, pressed into service as quotation marks for things other than human speech. For instance, something like this:
#I don't think you should do that#I looked up sharply at the words. Surely there wasn't anyone in the room with me? Looking around, there was no one. Disconcerted, I bent over the terminal to resume work.
#I really don't think that's a good idea#
This time I froze. After several long seconds of silence, I called out.
"Who are you?"
Nothing.
"Where are you? What do you want?"
A pause, then... #I'd love to tell you, but I'm not sure I know the answers myself#
"Why isn't it a..."
#...a good idea? Let's just say, I did it once, and then I was here. Wherever here is#
"What's your name?"
#Ah. That's one of the more difficult questions#
Not strictly relevant to the topic, but I thought it was an interesting technique.
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You can be gay behind closed doors says BNP
Well they should know.
"It's not immigrants that are at fault here, never has been, it's the establishment, our own governing powers and their greed or their ignorance or their simple gutlessness to do anything about it,"
So immigrants are okay as people...but immigration is a problem.
Immigrants good, immigration bad.
So immigrants are fine, so long as they don't come over here.
"It was an art film, not a bloody porn film.
Good, then let's all see it. Not that we don't believe you or anything. Because you've never told lies before.
"Anything to do with my past politics or my past work, I am not interested in commenting on."
How convenient.
"Some unfortunate people suffer from homosexuality so we will just have to tolerate them.
If we suffer it's because of people like you. It's us who have to tolerate you.
So the PinkNews is now interviewing neonazis. Presumably to create controversy, disguised as "debate".
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I can't see anything wrong with using italics in written speech, so long as they're used sparingly.
As for capitals, they lack a certain "respectability", probably partly because some very bad writers overuse them. I can't think of the last time I saw all-caps used for emphasis in a paper novel, but it's common on the net. I'd say, use them if there's no other way - and you may well never be in a situation where there is no other way. So I suppose they're a last resort.
Personally, I think italics are good for showing personality traits of characters, where these traits show up in their intonation patterns, and where it might be laborious to tell the reader what the character is like. Often readers like to work out the personalities of characters for themselves. For example:
"Purple is just so last week" (Valley girl)
"Oh my God! That's just fabulous!" (Screaming queen and/or fashion victim)
"What on earth are you blithering about, man?" (gruff sargeant major)
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There are some stories which, after you've read them you think "I'm glad I read that".
And there are others where you think, "I want to know what happens next, dammit!"
This was both.
So, um...it was good and I want another one!
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This kind of thing always gets turned into a debate on free speech. With one side saying the right to free speech is absolute and everyone should be allowed to say anything to anyone, the other side saying there should be restrictions on "extremists" but never defining what is and isn't extreme, and a few "moderates" trying to draw an arbitrary line in the sand that applies in all cases.
All of which is rather odd, for two reasons.
(1) None of the three positions outlined above are coherent. Is a false rape allegation an expression of free speech? What about a campaign of intimidation, or anti-semitic propaganda? Of course not. Anyone who says free speech is absolute just hasn't thought about it. As for trying to draw a clear line between those who deserve the right to speak and those who don't...how many time do you have to try it before realising it won't work? You need guidelines to interpret and modify on a case by case basis, but abstract absolute rules applied to concrete complex reality always result in gibberish.
You still say you want to place people like Phelps beyond the pale? Terms like "terrorist", "extremist" and even "whackjob" don't describe a type of person which can be objectively defined. If a terrorist is someone who uses violence and fear to effect political change, then all wars, including the "war on terror" are acts of terrorism. An extremist is just someone a lot further along one cline or another relative to you - which defines you, wherever you are, as a moderate.
(2) The Phelps family are being investigated for tax evasion and crooked property dealings, not spreading hate. As far as this case is concerned, hatemongering and free speech don't enter into the picture, and introducing them just muddies the waters.
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I don't know about anyone else here, but when my only reaction to a story is "Pretty good, I liked it, I'd be happy to read more if you feel like writing more of the same"...that doesn't seem like it's worth posting as a comment.
It is a positive reaction, just not an extremely positive one. And I think most good stories provoke just that kind of response from the reader. It's not "meh", not at all, but if I type it and send it, it feels like I'm essentially writing "Good, but in a meh sort of way".
You see what I'm getting at here?
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This may not be one of my bright days, but where do I go to read the stories?
I can't see them listed on the site.
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Thanks. I'm going through an emotional time at the moment - not an unusually tough time, just one when everything's a little bit wrong, and the light at the end of the tunnel is a little too distant.
I wrote "Because" on a half-hour impulse to put some words around what I'm feeling. Like I say, it's only a half true story.
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Reread what I've written and click Send. Watch as the window vanishes and an hourglass turns for two or three seconds as the message speeds to you, full of good news and wry observations.
Stuff about my co-workers, the boss, his boss, the computers, the locals. All cheerful and colourful stuff, and all true in it's way.
Why can't I write what I really want to say? The words aren't difficult - "I miss you like crazy and I cry every time I get one of your emails". If you don't send me an email on a particular day, I might cry too. "I love you, I miss you, I don't want to be here, I want to be home with you, I want you to hold me". Why can't I just write that?
Because...because it would upset you. Because you'd write back to say you miss me too and if I really hate this job why don't I just leave and come back home. And if you said it I might actually do it though we both know we can't afford it.
Because I took this job so we could pay off all our debts and live properly and not be constantly borrowing money off each other and our friends who don't have any money either and need to borrow money off us instead.
And because once I started to tell the truth, I might not be able to stop.
When I got on the plane, I wasn't just doing it for our future. I was doing it because I wanted time away from you. We'd been living in two rooms together for God knows how long and I needed some time alone. I just didn't want you to be there every time I looked around.
I met a man last night. I don't know his name and he didn't speak much English but it was a nice little one night stand. There's been several.
Would it be better if I said I was thinking of you when I was with him? But I wasn't. I was with him so I could forget about you, and this place, and these people, for a while. I thought about you after he'd gone though. Couldn't help myself.
But I can't tell you any of that either. I wonder what you haven't been telling me.
It won't be long now. We'll be together soon. You do believe me don't you?
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You're making Cammy Clammy.
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Nicely told miniature stories that read like pivotal moments in much larger stories. I especially liked the second one, which had a science-fiction feel to it.
You can paste your stories into the forum, of course.
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It had to be a joke piece but I couldn't predict the joke ahead of time. And it's what you might call "Quietly well written" - written with a feel for language and atmosphere that doesn't announce itself with a fanfare, just keeps the reader (ie me) engaged.
Oh, and now that the story's got me interested to see what else you've written...I click on your AD page it turns out you're actually Sinbad, who I've read before.
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He doesn't need to wind the clock. Just needs to make two trips to see his friend, one after the other, and note the difference between the time on his friend's clock when he leaves, and the time when he returns.
He can do the maths on his second journey home.
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Can anyone come up with an English word that ends -mt (without using a dictionary)? There is at least one!
I never dreamt there wasn't.
I imagine the friend's clock chimes, but I can't come up with a strictly logical solution.
BTW, an "aggry" is a kind of Ghanaian glass bead. And I'm amazed that the AD spellchecker knows "Ghanaian", but not "Spellchecker".
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It's not a grammar test.
It's a general knowledge quiz.
If you actually enjoy this kind of wordplay, go here.
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Assuming you mean "inflexion" instead of "punctuation", and assuming you mean "and" instead of "an"...
Both are possible, but with different meanings. If you're considering the yolk and the egg to be two different things yolked together (so to speak) in the same sentence, then "are" is correct.
You can test it by putting "both" - or "all" for groups of more than two - after "are". "...are both white" is correct, "...is both white" is incorrect, because "both" can only be used with things considered as duos.
If you consider that "yolk and egg" describes a single thing - the substances and structures inside an eggshell - then "The yolk and egg is white" is, strictly speaking, correct, but unusual. The form is occasionally used when describing longer lists of things, not just two.
Also, often we use "is" to predicate adjectives of things that are singular, but habitually described as an aglomeration, for instance:
* Barnes and Noble is closed
* Bill and Ted is a movie franchise
* The Long and the Short and the Tall is an old song
Finally, if "The Yolk and Egg" is the name of a white painted pub, then "The Yolk and Egg is white" would be grammatically correct - and even true.
Kapitano (who teaches English, and who's just had an egg for breakfast)
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There are only three words in The English Language that end in '-gry'. One is angry and the other one is hungry. Can you name the third word?
It's quite easy :D.
Maddy (::
Um, exactly what do you mean by "easy"?
The third word (in the first paragraph) is "only". In the same way the "center of gravity" is the letter V.
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By appointment to His Madrigalness:
Excluding esoteric technical terms, there are only four words in the English Language that end with 'dous'.
Can you name all four?
Bruin
According to the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (1997 digital edition) there's 35 words ending in -dous.
"Excluding esoteric technical terms" is a weaseling proviso that could include or exclude any technical term. "Philtre", "Spandrel" and "Nybble" are all technical terms that could be called esoteric, or not, according to mood.
If you admit "hazardous" do you also admit "biohazardous"? What about "unhazardous"?
Besides, this isn't a puzzle at all. It's a recall test. Or a test of whether you've got a crossword dictionary to hand. Which I have.
Incidentally, there's actually four words ending in -gry, but two are synonyms and one is highly obscure unless you're an archaeologist.
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the diameter is increased by 32 cm.
So my answer has to be
D) None of the above
My maths has always been rubbish, but lets see.
c1 is the circumference of the rope before extension, and thus the circumference of the earth.
c2 is the circumference of the rope after extension.
r1 is the radius of c1.
r2 is the radius of c2.
c1=40075km=40075000m
c2=40075001m
c=2*pi*r, therefore r=c/(2*pi)
r1=c1/(2*pi)
=40075000/(2*3.14)
=40075000/6.28
=6381369.42
r2=c2/(2*pi)
=40075001/(2*3.14)
=40075001/6.28
=6381369.58
Oh bugger. This last stage is where I made a mistake in calculation earlier. Right method, wrong numbers. I told you my maths was rubbish.
r2-r1=0.16
So the difference between the radius of the two circles is 0.16m, which is 16cm.
My apologies. Again. But yeah, you got it right.
PS. Speaking of H2G2, the above is explained here.
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But ... but ... I thought clocks were for telling the time?
You might say clocks don't tell the time - they create it.
More please, more!You've probably met this one before.
A piece of rope is wrapped tightly around the earth's equator. It is 40075 km long. Ignore mountains, seas etc - assume the earth is a smooth sphere. The rope is then lengthened by one metre, and lifted from the surface by a constant amount all around.
How far off the surface is the rope?
A) 30 cm
B) 300 cm
C) .03 cm
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Tea + Cocoa
in Flash Fiction
Posted
Yep, we're definitely getting darker and more bitter in here.
A very convincing and perceptive picture of the mind of a true sadist - the kind who doesn't want a masochist because that would involve trust and exchange of pleasure. This one thrives on breaking trust and gets their pleasure by denying it to others.
The end was a surprise too. I was expecting the cocoa to be poisoned, but didn't expect Jeremy and Benji to team up.
Anyone else want to write another variation? It doesn't have to be dark. Hot milk maybe?