Sign Of A Flatline
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Posts posted by Sign Of A Flatline
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before i had a different story, but with recent going on's i felt i wanted to have the truth some people don't get protection even when anonymous i added what i cut a few years ago, changed things, and came out with something different that i wasn't sure i wanted to put in the edit. don't really enjoy it but can't say i'm given a choice. so this is it.
In the living room
Next to the fire
Warm, contented
Yet cold and yearning
Craft knife poised
I use those whitehot coals
To slowly tentatively
Clean my blade
My shirt falls to the floor
Revealing pale flesh
Waiting, wanting
Somehow begging
For the blade
My first line
Short and deliberate
An inch of pain
Drawn clean and pure
Another follows
Two holes in my fa?ade
Laying bare my pain
Parading my anguish
Blood congeal
Panic re-lights
The act I frowned upon
the condemnations I passed
all right and all wrong
I never knew it was like this
What else can follow?
Self-contempt, revolution?
Disgust and their ease?
A new understanding comes
I am what I hated
The rest that follow
All merge to one
Shallow cuts
Breaking shallow promise
Now I?m the one begging
for the circle never stops
Loathing to blood to loathing
the cuts too addictive
The lines too reassuring
Pain made measurable
Anguish made tangible
My secret act
My secret hatred
Concealed now
Hidden from all others
In a vain bid
To protect myself
Then that fateful day
When I let my secret run
A once trusted friend
Turning from fear , shock
disgust and disappointment
A betrayal at the worst time
From the worst corner
Deepening the hole
Multiplying the scars
The circle widens
Trust constantly misplaced
And my circle decreases
Fewer left to trust
So many more to fear
Then comes compassion
Support and confidence
An allegiance at the best time
From an unsuspected corner
I?ll be dragged out my hole
Rebuilt by those who love
Compelled through it
Made better made stronger
Pale flesh heals
Friendships don?t
Pain is never forever
Neither are friends
Now maybe someday
I can help another
Break the fa?ade
See the pain
Fix the suffering
Cure the loneliness
And understand the doubt
For a code is created
But those on the other side
A code of conduct
I?ll never be the betrayal
Instead I?ll be the map
For any other lost
Within the labyrinth
Of self harm
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'came amid promises by President Barack Obama that he will work to repeal the policy.'
i'm not a massive buff for american politics. but its my understanding that as commander in chief the president can just make these sorts of decisions without having to 'work' at all... jsut sign a piece of paper (executive order) Truman did it in 1948 to end segregation. why can't obama do the same thing, or is he just worried about the political implications of doing it?
=S
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funny
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=P even dark chocolate with no sugar in is nice at the right time... xD
chocolate is one of humanities best discoveries
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I'm a bit confused as to why lyrics mean so much to you.
surely the music has to be good, while I'll concede that sometimes bad lyrics can ruin a song, I often don't care, if I enjoy how a song sounds 90% I don't care about the lyrics.
the same applies with 'popular music' although I admit to not being completely with the times I think to say that popular music is somehow designed for stupid people is little close minded. again I'll concede some of it is just trash but then I'll bet the 'popular' music of anyone's generation is subject to the same treatment at its time of release
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I think this is really goo, speaks to me the whole teenager thing is spot on, its perfectly crafted to get what you want.
you should keep writing. but as mentioned i'm pleased and relieved your not still going through this. its hell
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amazing
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have we just forgotten how impressive it is for someone to write that. for it to make sense backwards and forwards, and for it to have serious meaning? i mean really its amazing.
i think idealism is never a bad thing even if its overshooting, you only get change by holding onto ideals. this person obviously beleives in something and regaurdless of what the reality of the future is those ideals may bring about one small change, which will be more of an impact than an average persons life.
i also fail to see how age should have any impact on this what so ever
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now THAT was great =P
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i'm so glad this exists
=P i'll keep it book marked for future use
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love this.... it gives you a warm feeling inside when you read it.
thanks for writing
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This is why one doesn't feed one's kitty outside.
unless z kitty happen to be a lion.....................
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thanks guys. incase you hadn;t guessed i'm a tad ashmed of that part of my life and mroe than al glad its behind me... this was well forced out of me by something i can't really explain...
really what i've put up is about a 1/4 of what i've really got written (and this is a slightly tweaked version of the truth)
=D i couldn't stop.
bruin you got it right it was uplifting... well wiritng the end was uplifting for me anyway ^_^
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But my arguments are really specious. I mean no insult to anybody who wants to be nude for any reason. I think as long as they're doing it in a place where people who don't like nudity won't be offended -- say, a public library or a movie theater -- I'm fine with it. Back yards, private swimming pools, etc. ... that's fine by me.
i don't see how 'because it'll offend people' is such a good argument. i mean if you go around there will be many things which offend many people in many ways, but thats never been a good reason to make it illegal (sorry for teh wek agument but i'm just out of an exam and don't feel like coming up with any examples)
plus nudist colonies, nudeist towns and nude beaches all work for people of all ages... so we've proof that the problems are with closed minds not any other good reason
=P i'm all crazy thin atm, ya know the prime of my youth and all that crap. ^_^ so i fit into nice thin jeans..... infact i yhave problems finding waists small enough while having the leggs long enough. =D
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having just found flash fiction today i've taken it upon myself to read as much as i can.
i have yet to read anything on this website that rings any truer with me, i was slightly worried for a second that you'd been inside my head. I can honestly say that conversation has happened.
to write that is a feat for mopre than one reason, and i thank you for wiritng it. =D
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The biggest argument against nudity is that it offends people who don't want nudity.
Zac Efron and Chace Crawford would be forbidden to wear clothes anywhere, once I get elected Decider of All Nudity Laws (DANL).
Well I don't see how you can be offended with the human body as I said that person must've seen it al before???. I imagine its just another thing I?ll never understand
You have my vote. =P
Well maybe putting the laws down would encourage others to loose weight and such like...
Just imagine removing the laws would allow others to get full body tans?..... *gets lost in dream world*
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I was piecing together a poem about a streaker getting chased by a policeman (I have no idea why it just came to me) and it got me thinking, At first i couldn't think of a single good reason why nudity is illegal, why indecent exposure is such a crime.
First off, its not like everyone would be walking around naked all the time, in-fact in England most of the time it'd be too cold to think about not wearing clothes. People would choose having choice is all what a free countries about right? Secondly the illegal bit is your midriff exposed, this doesn?t make any sense either because as far as I know everyone?s got a midriff with some sort of sexual organ. Which everyone will have seen themselves at one point or another?
Being open about the body in the first place will have a positive effect on everyone. There are things like going to the doctor with a problem. If everyone was more open about nudity and their own bodies it won't be so hard for people (especially men) to go to the doctor to get himself or herself checked out.
Then my mind went on... (As any gay guys mind would eventually) to a small problem. It would be rather obvious when a man guy boy whatever was aroused. if they see someone they like the look of... get on a bus... or well the body's probably the most unpredictable thing that?s always in a mans life (other than women) so just about anything could set you off. Again at first I could see how this was a good reason to have the indecent exposure laws around, and then decided I was being a tad thick. Firstly as I?ve said the body is unpredictable, it happens to all guys at more or less all times no biggy right? Also if nudity was acceptable then so would a guy popping a boner, it'd just happen and no one would blink twice because everyone would understand how little control guys have over their own cocks.
Well the only REAL problem I could come up with nudity is the slightly over frisky couples you see on busses, trains, park benches, well just about everywhere... well I don't think you really need me to finish off that train of thought.
To absolve myself I think it?d be prudent to point out that I'm not writing this because I want to see more guys naked around town, (although I wouldn't be complaining if that happened) the law just seams irrational to me. Also I WOULDN?T be the first to run around town naked if the laws were abolished?. Too self-conscious for that =D
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in the living room
next to the fire
warm, contented
yet cold and yearning
craft knife poised
I used those white-hot coals
to slowly
tentatively
clean my blade
my shirt falls to the floor
revealing pale flesh
waiting, wanting
begging perhaps
my first short line
deliberately traced
inches of clean pain
unadulterated and our
another follows
two small slits in my skin
exposing the large cracks
deep in my soul
i notice my blood congeal
and feel the panic relight
the act i frowned upon
the condemnation i passed
all right and so wrong
i never knew it was like this
what else will follow?
if not self contempt
revulsion at what I've done
disgust at its ease
a new understanding comes
i am what i hate
now i'm the one begging
for the cycle never stops
loathing to blood to loathing
the cuts too addictive
the lines too reassuring
tangible and measurable
painful and true
my secret act
my secret hatred
concealed now
surpassing another
in a vain bid
trying to protect myself
from the others
the rest that follow
all merger to one
shallow cuts
made with shallow promise
then that fateful day
when my secret breaks free
running from my closet
to that fateful person
chock then appalled
scared then disappointed
but concerned above all else
advice from all corners
supporting and confiding
and despite a lack of understanding
they'll pull me through
make me
better
stronger
pale flesh heals
pain is never permanent
now maybe someday
i can help another
break the facade
see the pain
fix the suffering
cure the loneliness
and understand the doubt
for a code is created
a code of conduct
i can be that person
for another lost
in the labyrinth
of self harm
well its done now.
had this following me around for weeks, its finally at a place where i'm not compelled to keep going back to it and change it, and now i won't have it at the front of my mind all the time.
also normally i wouldn't post this, its a bit dark and well... personal, but as i've allreayd said i'vce been compelled to share it with others, for some morbid reason.
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god i was so surprised.. i was convinced it was the tape.....
what a voice
and he's almost cute in a very strange way....
i don't like the whole facial hair thing
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thats more re-assuring than either of you could know
=D my life would be boring without the insane ones
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meaning
The meaning of you
is lost to me;
unchartered, unexplored,
incomprehensible and confounding.
Knowing I'm fooled
by your wondrous facade,
what I want you to be.
Your nothing but trouble,
yet troubles all I need.
It drives me crazy
round the bend,
up the wall.
And so I yearn for the ending,
to the mere meaning of you
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made my day this did.....
i bet the ending had such a great effect eh?
i have nothing more than to simply thank you for writing it
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So for me the artist, has never been someone who just paints, I think of the artist as someone who unlocks the spirit of life itself and in so doing, enables all of us to see, hear, feel, taste, touch or even smell the essence of being alive. An artist captures moments that we would otherwise miss, he gives meaning to life where, before his creativity, there was only despair; he provides insight into that despair and to joy, as well as understanding that life itself is an act of creativity from which our potential evolves. An artist takes his passion for his craft and uses his talent to reveal the passion of living itself, and in so done may reach the discovery of compassion in all the studies (the arts) of our understanding both the real and the unknowable.
Reading this i feel like a phoney, to some extent.
The meaning behind this fits though. It must be said that the label (for in modern society thats what it is) of artist, doesn't quite do your explaination justice. maybe this has more to do with the effect the label has had on me more than acctually sitting there and 'objectivly' considering the meaning of being an artist.
would it be completly naive of me to say that artists are trying to 'complete' themselfs with thier art? - what ever form it may take - striving to as you say unlock the passion of living? perhaps people are cloests to perfection when they are creating?
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just a little thought
in Readers Rule!
Posted
as an infrequent reader i am aware that this isn't the biggest complaint in the world and there is a chance it has already been addressed BUT:
i have problems reading a multitude of stories on this website merely because of the colour of the text in conjunction with the background
for example if a story is a black background with white text i can't read it without my eyes hurting, while i'm aware that there are ways around this as a read i feel it should be more the writers job to make their stories as readable as possible. While some people will have varying successes with different font and background combinations i think this is something that should be considered when looking at creating a home page....
that is all i have to say xD sorry if it wasted your time
Pads