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First random thought



Not to disarm you, but we' re all dying. My schedule is just a little more accelerated than most. I believe, with Daniel Servan-Schreiber that, "Death is part of the life process; everyone goes through it. It is very reassuring in itself." I am reassured and require no extra measure of sympathy (I'm very cross with anyone who extends sympathy). I'll violate social norms by sharing my thoughts as the wild part of me cannibalizes my bones. I don't spend most of my time contemplating the end (really, I'm not protesting too much), as I have life to live. I find, however, that an imminent demise (no, I haven't calendared it yet) has made me a bit nostalgic, and that I am moved to make a few observations on the process and on my life thus far. Observation number one follows.

Robin Ochs has said that, while many think of heterosexual people as having lives, they describe sexual minorities as having lifestyles. Ann suggests that any word containing style can never be applied to me. I have to agree, but Ann and I have a life, albeit an unconventional one. The people who would characterize us as having a meager lifestyle do so because, while they are impelled to defend human life, they can safely refrain from defending my existence because mine is only a lifestyle.

Questionable fashion sense aside, my approach to love and sex cannot be discarded like last year’s jacket or disconnected like Peter’s shadow. I have lived with heterosexuals for over sixty years and none has been tempted to don my particular orientation to life. I have known many gay men over the years, and sharing with them has never disconnected my desire for women.

Assuming that I can change my spots is glib, like assuming that heterosexuals can transmute their leaden lives into the golden mien of bisexuals (really, some of my best friends are heterosexual). People who spout that glibness believe that I should be an alchemist while their natures are immutable. Then, the business of religion in the West is to dehumanize non-believers the way war propaganda dehumanizes the State’s enemies. We’re really talking about power, conformity, and fear. Perhaps, they should worry more about my deplorable fashion sense than my life.


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Your 'First Random Thought' didn't disarm, so much as discombobulate. Not because you're apparently closer to shuffling off your mortal coil than I am, but because I'm not partial to having my post rehearsal cinnamon toast and coffee upset by morbid thoughts.

Yep, it's true: we're all on our way out. I cannot deny it. But personally I like to forget. Put the thought at the back of a bottom drawer (wrapped in that sweater I hate but can't throw away), and bury the chest as deep as possible at the far end of the garden. You know what I mean. No doubt one day soon some hooded chap with a scythe will dig it up and, giggling, wave it in my face, but that's for then. Now is for now... isn't it?

Ann sounds rather nice, and most wise. I think I know what you mean about fashion sense and the style label. The problem the majority of our minority have when is comes to flamboyance - sexual or otherwise - is a distinct lack of it. I very occasionally wish I was as camp as a row of tents, but have to face the fact I'm not, and if I tried I'd fall flat on my face. Besides, who - other than the participating parties - really gives a damn what one does with one's genitalia? And if they care so much... why do they?

Welcome to the blogs, Bi_Janus, and thanks for an interesting first post. :)

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A wonderful and scintillating first post. Camy rarely gets it wrong.

I think what you're saying is a truth we all learn as we go along. Life is complicated. Life for me isn't the same as life for you. I don't understand the motivaiton most people have to want us all to be the same. I think it's a young person's view. Young people aren't especially adroit at thinking. They like to act, not think. As we reach into our golden years, it turns around, our heads get more use, and we realize truths we ingnore when younger.

You sound like you've lived a life different from many. I've found that people who have to hesitate when asked if they're straight often have lived different lives. If that's true, you're not only welcome here, you fit in with the crowd. What we most cherish here is wit and words. I have a feeling we'll get both from you.


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