The Pecman

Funniest damn thing I read all day! Thanks for that, E.C.!

The first time I heard the Oscar-nominated song, "Let It Go," I thought man, if ever there was a pro-gay song sneaking into a Disney movie, this is it: The lyrics deal with the character being isolated from a fear of being honest about who they are, and their joy at finally being able to be truthful and not hold anything back from their lives. Wonderful song, whether or not there's a subversive element at work. "Here I stand, and here I'll stay!" 101 million views on YouTube so far. If this doesn't win the Oscar, I'll be stunned. Absolutely dynamite visuals, too. (And any song that can work the phrase "frozen fractals" in the lyrics impresses the hell outta me.)

I don't dispute that all children need role-models of some kind, but the problem I have here is that not everybody who has problems identifying with one gender or the other necessarily needs a book about a 6-year-old or a 10-year-old who's ready to have sexual reassignment surgery. I think you have to give the kids time to figure out what they want out of life and who they are, and they'll come up with the answers on their own. What does need to be done is to simply encourage tolerance for people who are different. This is already happening; I noted the other day where Facebook now has something like 50 different gender options to help people who are not exactly one way or the other on the sliding scale of masculine, feminine, gay, straight, or bisexual: http://www.takepart.com/article/2014/02/18/facebook-announces-50-new-gender-options As long as kids understand there are options for them once they're of age, at least they'll be aware that they're not alone in the world and that they can be accepted. I'm not sure that fictional books for kids under 12 are what's needed to explain what they're going through; it's more a question of making others sympathetic and understanding enough to give them room to be comfortable in their own skin. Having said that, you're gonna get beat up if you're a boy going to school in a dress, at least in America. It may not be right, but it's true. I think there's a time and a place where everything should be tolerated, but there's also limitations. There may be a day 20 or 30 or 40 years from now where absolutely nobody will care what somebody wears to work or to school, but if you're causing distractions in those environments, it's gonna be trouble. (I'd have the same problem with a girl who dresses like a prostitute, or a boy who wore a full football uniform to class. Just not appropriate.) Dressing within a certain scale of reasonableness is what you have to do in most kinds of society. But I do think people and children have the right to be honest with themselves and others as to how they regard their own identity. Hey, if Ellen can wear a man's tux on the Oscars, anything is possible.

The page on the Advocate website kept changing to a pop-up ad for me, so I was able to grab a static page of the text. Here's the editorial: Op-ed: The Stories That Gender-Nonconforming Kids Need Children’s literature is too often a tale of two genders. BY CAMERON KEADY FEBRUARY 18 2014 6:00 AM ET What I remember most about being a kid is how small the world felt. Each day was predictably linear: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, read in bed, go to sleep. As adults we still follow a daily schedule that is also often predictable and structured, but the difference now is we have outlets — outlets we create for ourselves that provide a release from the confines of routine, that let us relax and imagine and daydream for a while. As a gender-nonconforming kid, these moments were more about escape than they were release. They were times of solitude I spent only with a picture book or building blocks, to grow my world just a little bit. It’s not that my reality was dark and unhappy. I just couldn’t find my place in it. My struggle with gender identity became increasingly difficult when I couldn’t even feel a sense of belonging in books, an outlet that brought me to a fictional world. These stories and fairytales provided an escape to fantastical places where animals could talk and treasure actually was buried under the letter “X,” but when the story gave any semblance of reality, I felt isolated and shut out. Too quickly kids are placed on either a blue or a pink path. And they are expected to follow it. Children who stray from this binary are often seen as lost, confused, or in some sort of phase. But that isn’t the case. They are “both” and “neither,” and they need resources to confirm that is OK. They need stories that look, sound, and feel like them. Parents of queer and gender-nonconforming children have resources, like gender therapists, pediatricians, and guidebooks to help understand and foster a child’s gender development, but the child is often left to their own devices. In many cases, the only place a child has full agency to explore and educate themself is in a library. What gender-nonconforming children need are media, particularly books, in which they can see themselves. Lori Duron is the author of Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in Raising A Fabulous, Gender-Creative Son, and proud mother of C.J., a gender-nonconforming 7-year-old. C.J. has identified as gender-nonconforming since age 4. One of his favorite books is My Princess Boy, by Cheryl Kilodavis. Like C.J., the story’s protagonist is a boy who likes pink and wears dresses. This book shows C.J. another boy like him, and this reflection of self encourages him to celebrate and take pride in his own identity. Though in many ways this story mirrors C.J.’s gender expression, it may not draw the same parallels for another boy that also identifies as nonconforming. “[When we] read My Princess Boy, I am showing [C.J.] kids like himself, but I am not showing him other types of kids,” says Duron. Just as she wants cisgender children to accept C.J., she wants him to understand and accept their gender expression, too. For this broader understanding, Todd Parr is a favorite in the Duron household. His book, It’s Okay to be Different illustrates cultural, physical, and emotional differences, while teaching readers to celebrate individuality. Its outreaching and relatable message of acceptance is inclusive and warm, and shows kids that identity is something complex that should be explored, not confined to a singular definition. Author Talcott Broadhead explores this complexity in the children’s book series, “Meet Polkadot.” The main character is named Polkadot, a non-binary, trans kid. The books grow with Polkadot to reflect how each milestone of childhood is informed by the social construct of gender. The story is not just about Polkadot’s identity, but about how it relates to the world around Polkadot. This young character is taking our hand and leading us in the direction we need children’s literature to move. But the reality is, adults take the lead. Even for a family like the Durons, who foster and encourage their child’s nonconforming gender expression, these books are often distributed by small publishers and are difficult to find. Schools and public libraries are often resistant to add them to their shelves, deeming their subject matter inappropriate for a classroom. But it is the child who does not have love and support at home that needs these resources in school the most. Children’s books are meant to provoke a sense of wonder about the world. They should inspire and enhance reality, not just provide an escape from it. Books that include themes about nonconforming gender expression have the potential to be radical tools for social change. They allow for complex themes delivered simply, that allow a child’s small world to grow and expand. If children’s literature continues to exclude this population that desperately needs them, the book industry is failing to complete its mission. We need books for gender-nonconforming children that present a spirit of optimism and rejection of impossibility. Granting children a confidence and self-assuredness early in life, through these stories and books, would make for much happier tales of growing up as gender-nonconforming. Kids are smart, and often pragmatic, and logical. They know they can’t be elves and wizards like in the books they read. But they should know they are still capable of magic. CAMERON KEADY is an assistant editor at Time For Kids, a freelance news and culture writer for Refinery29, and a contributing editor for Gayletter.com.

That was well done, Chris! I've been to Tokyo several times, and it's a beautiful city -- also filled with strange mysteries, odd buildings, and massive crowds. One of the most interesting places in the world.

I saw them all, and you are very wise. If you ask me, only the first one was any good; the others totally begged credulity to the point of being ridiculous. They also got rid of the Orlando Bloom character, which I think hurt the film because I thought it was an interesting idea to have a ne'r-do-well anti-hero with Johnny Depp, and then Bloom as the dashing, romantic hero. Having only Sparrow was a drag, since there was no contrast to his bizarre behavior. I think everybody was kind of stunned that Disney managed to get a good movie out of a stupid theme park ride, but the other movies got progressively more and more horrible. Interestingly, I believe the third Pirates film At World's End, is the most expensive Hollywood film in history at $300,000,000. It made about a billion, so I'd say it still made a profit.

It is really used widely in Olympic-style wrestling, but I've never heard it used in America outside of that. Don't ask me if they say "a pair of singlets." I think it's just "a singlet."

Nope, they do use the term "singlet" for Olympic-style wrestling outfits, used in American schools all the way down to Middle School:

Don't forget that Johnny did four Pirates movies that made over $4 billion, so I think he's doing just fine. That's assuming he doesn't do another $250M western that bombs as big as Lone Ranger. And Dark Shadows was horrible, too.

I saw this damn commercial, and I thought "boots & pants? boots and pants? What the hell does that mean?" Also, tell that pig to put on a pair of swim trunks. (Not one trunk, the whole pair.)

Uganda President Yoweri Museveni is about to pass the most restrictive, unbelievable anti-gay legislation on the planet, promising life in prison for anybody caught having sex with a same-sex partner. They even want to extradite and prosecute any Ugandan citizen whom they discover has gay sex outside the country! As this story on The New Civil Rights Movement says: The Anti-Homosecuality bill today provides for life in prison for “aggravated homosexuality,” a broad and legally insufficiently defined term. It also provides for mandatory jail terms for those who engage in sexual activities with a member of the same gender. The AHB also demands that any person who knows of someone who is gay must report them to law enforcement or face jail themselves, and provides for stiff penalties for any person, company, corporation, media outlet or other entity that knows or supports LGBT people or LGBT civil rights. The article goes on to say that the reason why Uganda developed these homophobic, ultra-fundamentalist religious values in their country is because of the efforts of American missionaries in the last 50 years. One of them, Scott Lively, is now on trial in the U.S. for crimes against humanity, which I get the impression is much worse than a parking ticket. If this isn't the most outrageous news story so far this year, I don't know what is. I'd like to lobby all American businesses who have branches in Uganda to pull out, and I'd like to see all American money yanked from the country as soon as possible. This violates every known concept of decency I can think of, just horrible, violent, reprehensible behavior.

A short space.

Just wanted to make sure I set the Tivo in advance. Summer 2016 in Brazil, I believe. I hear Rio is nice that time of year. I much prefer the skimpier costumes in the Summer Olympics.

Guaranteed, I've been typing longer than you. I learned at the age of 12 in 7th grade. I figure that and masturbating were pretty much the most useful things I learned in the entire school year. (And maybe the only useful things.) I think it took me more than 20 years to lose the double-space-after-period thing, but it still creeps back in from time to time. I fear my old typing teacher (whose name I can't remember, but I do remember her ugly, powder-white face and her Anita Bryant hairstyle) sneaking up and rapping my knuckles with a ruler, which she used to do whenever she caught our fingertips getting off the home row. I still have memories of her barking "F D S A space! J K L SEMI space!" over and over again. Stupid c@nt. The other habit, I have no interest in breaking.

Sometimes they do. That bit I threw into Destiny, where one of the main characters turned out to have three crippled fingers, was something I glimpsed in a dream. I remembered it as I was falling out of bed and threw that in the story at the last minute. Worked very well. I have no idea where that came from, but I jotted down "crippled hand," and the rest I made up. The great 1960s singer/songwriter told the story that he dreamed that he heard a new Elvis Presley song on the radio called "In Dreams," complete with a melody. He sang and played it for a friend at the studio, and the guy said, "wow, that's a great song!" Roy agreed but said, "unfortunately, Elvis already did it." The friend assured him that Elvis had not done any such thing, and after some checking, Orbison was floored to find that it was an original song. They recorded it very quickly and it became a Top 10 hit in early 1963. McCartney had a similar experience with "Yesterday," dreaming the melody but without any words, but it took them two months to make sure nobody else had used the same melody before. It's interesting to me that we're talking about how sometimes, great creative moments come out of dreams or near-sleep. More than one writing teacher has noted that when you read a great novel, you're almost lulled into a dreamlike state, to the point where the room you're in and the chair in which you're sitting completely disappear, and the story unfolds before you like a movie. I think the two states are related, yet it's tough to harness them and find a way to work this into a usable story.

Yes -- a hugely successful YA novel. Very glad to see such a positive attitude and a creative approach done on a story like this. And I'm telling you, Federle is a damn good author.

He was stoned, but I missed it.

No -- be willing to fail. No harm in that... but if you don't like it, don't post it. Another trick I use sometimes is to jump ahead in the story and write a latter section, then go back, pick up where I left off, then write up to that point. Nobody ever has to know what order you write the novel in, so it can work. I'm just tossing out some ideas here, so don't bite my head off. We all suffer from stress and over-analytical behavior, and I'm my own worst critic when it comes to my stuff. Doh! That's only happened to me about a hundred times. I have two notebooks and two pens right on my bedside table, and I still occasionally am too tired to reach over and write the thought down. Same deal with me: I remember having the thought, but damned if I know what it was.

I just read a review of a sequel to this book, and went online to check out the original. It's a terrific idea: a 13-year-old pudgy, awkward, sensitive kid from Pittsburgh who is absolutely consumed by Broadway musicals is absolutely determined to somehow hitch a ride to NY to audition in a play that he thinks he's right for, despite the fact that he's only done Jr. High plays up until this point. It's absolutely hilarious, very heartfelt, and poignant, and the kid is as real as any character I've seen, particularly in a story like this. The book is titled Better Nate Than Never, and while there are gay overtones -- the kid's athletic 16-year-old older brother constantly taunts him about it -- officially, Nate says, "I am undecided. I am a freshman at the College of Sexuality and I have undecided my major, and frankly don't want to declare anything other than, 'hey jerks, I'm thirteen, leave me alone. Macaroni and cheese is still my favorite food -- how would I know who I want to hook up with?'" The author, Broadway choreographer Tim Federle, is also from Pittsburgh and admits there are elements of his character that resemble him. (Federle has choreographed shows like Billy Elliot, and admits he got the idea to write the book after seeing a kid get rejected for that role.) It's a very gentle, whimsical tale intended for younger readers -- and trust me, whimsical is very hard to do -- but you really get inside the head of this kid and understand him thoroughly. It's also very, very funny and I've enjoyed very much of what I've read of it so far. This is a very gentle, light-hearted story, so don't expect anything sexual, though hints are dropped here and there. Not to spoil the ending, but the sequel -- which just got a rave review in Entertainment Weekly and is Amazon's pick this month in for YA books -- continues the story with Five, Six, Seven, Nate, the story of what happens when he gets a part in a big Broadway show and how he deals with it. Really well-told, and the guy clearly knows what goes on in the Great White Way backwards, forwards, and sideways. I look on it as "Smash from the viewpoint of a confused 13-year-old kid." The link for the first book is here: http://www.amazon.com/Better-Nate-Than-Ever-Federle/dp/1442446897/ref=pd_sim_b_2 and you can read the excerpts for free. I'm thrilled that somebody's even writing books for kids this young who are maybe questioning who they are -- whether they're straight, gay, bisexual, "undecided," or just Broadway fans -- especially when the writing is this sparkling and engaging. Check it out. Here's the author and his book:

The Italians told me it was sewage problems in Venice, plus the heat and humidity. It's fine in the fall. Lemme tell you, there's parts of Rome that smell so bad, it'll take the paint right off a wall...

I've analyzed my own bouts with writer's block, and I think it boils down to being kind of an OCD thing where you're afraid to let go of anything that's slightly imperfect (or even very imperfect). Maybe it's more important to get something down and then let it be bad, knowing you can always change it later. In my case, 90% of it is just stress from work and bills and all the other day-to-day crap we all have. Of course, after I win De Lotto tomorrow and have $330 million in the bank, all of these worries will fade away... Give yourself the freedom to write total crap and know you can always tear it up. Sometimes, I get a gem of an idea that's a one-sentence concept, and I realize it's the core of the whole chapter. Just today, after a very stressful escapade I went through after having maybe 3 hours sleep, I was on the verge of napping and got an idea for a new chapter that was one phrase: "My Fair Lady." That's going to yield at least five or six pages, and I know exactly where to go with it. It's interesting that sometimes, I get my best ideas when I'm sleepy, or when I'm completely distracted doing something unrelated to writing. Try that: a total physical activity like walking, running, or exercising, out of the house, and take a note pad along. Maybe you'll find the key that unlocks the solution.

Is it time for Olympic swimming and diving yet? Or gymnastics?

Don't go to Venice in the summer. Very stinky.

Northern Italy is like another country. Everything from Rome and down further south is pretty sleazy, from what I saw. Venice and Milan are really, really beautiful areas; Rome is kind of like Newark or the worst parts of Compton. Only a small part of Rome is nice and upscale, like Via Venetto.

I hope they're enjoying the sunshine! Our cat was ecstatic at the beautiful weather today. She enjoyed going after the birds (from inside her screen door). I may just write her into the story, to keep this thread on topic!