Nico Grey

Before that article I read the other day, I had never seen him referred to as "G. Perry". And when the other 24 pitchers mentioned in the piece were all referred to by full name, it just struck me as a little weird. It was almost like the AI big brother had noticed my story and decided to include that article in my news feed just for me!

Thank you. Insofar as the story appeals appeals to readers, I owe much to the many excellent writers whose work I have read here over the past decade or so. There are many outstanding writers here and I hope that I have managed to at least figure out some of what makes their work so good and do the same in my writing.

I didn't go into a lot of detail with Nicky. But hopefully there was enough information in the final chapter for you to get a sense of his role in the story and why he behaved the way he did. I think his actions, taken in the context of the entire story, are consistent given my conception of who he is... which I hope I conveyed to you adequately for the resolution of his character's role to make sense, even if it might not have been entirely satisfying.

My apologies in advance for what will likely be a very lengthy post- or perhaps even a series of posts. I first want to thank everyone who contributed to the publication of "The Incident at Chastity Falls". Cole Parker for his superb editing. Alien Son for taking the words I wrote and turning them into a very pleasing publication format. The memory of Mike, who started this website and was its guiding spirit for so many years. And to Rutabaga for the work he does to keep this site running and, most particularly, for starting this thread that helped me gather so much feedback from readers and talented authors about my work. I also want to thank everyone who contributed to this thread or who wrote to me directly. Hearing from each of you what you thought about this story was invaluable to me. From my perspective, writing is a collaboration between writer and reader. A writer can do a technically proficient job of putting words on paper and perhaps tell a decent story. But if that story doesn't engage an audience enough to sustain their interest, inspire their emotions, make them think, and leave them with a feeling of satisfaction when it's finished, it isn't a success. Hearing from each of you what engaged you about this story and what was disappointing should help me to do better next time. So thank you to Rutabaga and to each of you that took that time to share your thoughts with me. For me, this was a fascinating process. "Incident" is only the fourth story I've published and is easily the longest. The writing required a different approach than the shorter stories I have written, and I think I've learned a few things about writing longer stories along the way. Trying to balance a main story line, a handful of lesser story lines, and keep it all in the context of a theme isn't as easy as I thought it would be! I also discovered something that I've occasionally heard professional writers talk about: the way a story can sometimes start to write itself. For me, it was a character that almost took over the story at times. Nicky Crandall didn't even exist in my original notes, outline and early rough drafts of this story. He emerged to fill a need. I wanted something that would demonstrate that Jason's crew didn't all look at the world the same way all the time; that there could be tension and conflict inside their group, even if they often appeared to be of a single mind on most things. Nicky and his silly story about being "stroked" during gym class popped into my head, and it also seemed like a good idea to add him to reinforce the idea that I was developing that the outcome of Ross' personal growth would lead him into an adult life of service. Before I knew it, Nicky was everywhere! All I had to do was start to ponder how to fill some need or other in the plot and he was there with his hand raised demanding that I put him in the game. So I did. And by the time the story concluded I found that I liked him as much any character in the story. A couple of readers also commented on how much they liked Nicky. It seems surprising that a story that I thought was already pretty well developed can suddenly deviate from the planned course and have a fairly powerful effect on readers and writer, but it happened! After the story concluded, several posters here commented about the length of the epilogue. And while I had my reasons for that feature, the bottom line is that it didn't work for some readers. And that's good to know. Generally speaking, I agree with the perspective of those who were disappointed in the lengthy conclusion. I prefer stories that wrap up the main conflict and then leave enough information to give readers room to use their imagination to ponder what might happen next. The three short stories I have posted at another site all conclude that way. I have a story under development that, at least in present form, concludes with the protagonist in a hospital bed amidst a crisis that either marks the conclusion of his struggle or the conclusion of his life. The original version of this story- which essentially began as a couple of related scenes in my mind that became "the incident", as well as a sense of what had preceded those scenes- concluded with Perry and Ross (or Jason, as he was know at the time) walking away from the falls with Ross pondering the life lessons he has learned and sharing with readers that he and Perry managed to become close friends despite Ross' struggle to keep his interest in Perry under control and that a few years later he stood up with Perry at his wedding and that Perry returned the favor for Ross and Brian a year later. I was doing okay at that point! But then the story grew a bit. And instead of being just about Perry and the incident, with Ross as a facilitating character, the story became about Ross' personal growth and the incident just a catalyzing factor in that growth. It made sense at the time. It really did! But in that context, I didn't see the incident as the conclusion to the story but only as a critical incident that helped Ross develop into the person he would become. And in that sense, I thought the story needed a bit more at the end to show what Ross had accomplished, with the understanding that process was still under way, giving readers room for speculation and their own conclusion there. I thought that a few pieces of information that suggested Ross was still working to be the person he wanted to be, and that there was still room for conflict that would test him, might be sufficient. Instead, I probably got a bit carried away giving too much of a happy ending to the "good" guys. It may have been because I liked them so much. Or maybe I thought I needed the positive outcomes to reinforce the message about moral character and its benefits. But it clearly didn't work for everyone. It's a lesson I'll carry with me into my next story. There are probably a couple of brief replies to make to comments posted since I last visited this thread. Rather than increase this already lengthy post, I'll do that separately. But I do have one brief and strange note to add here. A few days ago I was reading a story on line about the people the author considered the twenty-five greatest pitchers in MLB history. Among the Walter Johnsons, Cy Youngs, Bob Fellers, Bob Gibsons, etc. was one person identified only as "G. Perry". Maybe that shouldn't have freaked me out as much as it did, but it certainly got my attention! Thanks to those of you who read this to conclusion for your indulgence and for your patience. And thanks once again to everyone who helped make writing this story a great experience for me!

It's very helpful to see these comments here, giving me a sense of how readers are reacting to what I wrote and some evidence pointing to where I hit the mark I was aiming for and where I was off target. The next chapter may help answer this question, Tal, as well as some of the observations offered by Brian, Becky and Linda in previous chapters. Or maybe I just missed my mark here... I wish I could claim credit for this. I like to offer subtle clues that help reinforce readers' experiences and understanding of what I'm attempting to communicate. In this case, I was just looking for some sort of action to set a scene- i.e., what the characters might be doing and feeling- before Ross and Perry settled in for a long bout of dialogue. I thought that Perry, after standing barefoot of those rocks for a while in early April, might be feeling the cold in his feet more than any other need (In Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Need the freezing feet, and threat to physical well-being- matter a lot more than any sense of modesty). And even in the midst of his crisis, Perry is the kind of person who is still thinking to offer some gesture of apology to Ross for using the shirt to cover his feet. That's about as deep as my thought process got here. I worry that Ross, after presenting in his internal dialogue as a bit confused and out-of-touch with the action around him at other points in the story, might come across as too thoughtful and insightful in this crisis for some readers' suspension of disbelief. I think there are two different varieties of social interpretation involved, and Ross does better with one sort of situation. But I do hope this doesn't throw too many readers off. There's an interesting story that goes with Nicky. He turned into a real star over the course of the story and was probably my favorite character by the time I was finished writing. I didn't really flesh out many of these characters, particularly their motives, and have relied on readers to see enough consistency in their behavior to accept them at face value. You offer many thoughtful observations and insights in your comment, Rutabaga. I hope you won't be too disappointed when the story is over and that you can find enough understanding of these characters in the few clues I offered, and in your own understanding of human behavior, for their actions and their overall character to make a (twisted) form of sense. I think they do. But If I haven't offered enough information for most readers to accept them, then that's my failure. This is one of my main objectives in writing this story; to show people behaving in ways that aren't stereotypical in the way we currently view social dynamics. Many years ago Cole Parker told me that he writes stories about people, many of whom happen to be gay; not stories about gay people. I found that a very insightful perspective, perhaps because my sense of human nature is that there aren't very many characteristics of human behavior that belong very strongly to one demographic group or another. We all have the potential for thought and action within us that are both good and bad, and that it's often circumstance and our failure to live mindfully that permit otherwise decent people to do some pretty terrible things. I'd like to think that most of the "gay mafia" are essentially decent enough people (although Rutabaga may be right about Jason and Dante) who simply found themselves in circumstances where blindly following their leaders, an appeal to their baser interests, a facile argument or two, and a failure to give much consideration to the broader implications of their behavior led them to make poor moral choices. Even Ross spends some time tottering on the brink of being swept along the easier path to follow. Your observation about the failure of the responsible adults to intervene appropriately is pretty consistent with my experiences in recent years, James. And I suspect that it's a similar dynamic of confusing circumstances and a failure to act mindfully that is often responsible for poor adult leadership. To be fair, we are living in a time where social conventions are evolving rapidly, making it more difficult for people to discern what is right and wrong. It may be easier for these adults to just go with the flow, particularly when they aren't certain any more about what is "supposed" to be right and wrong. Minor spoiler alert! One more chapter to go. I hope that when the story is over, everyone is fairly satisfied with the choices I made in how I presented it to you. If not, please let me know. I can only do a better job next time if I knew where I didn't get it right this time. Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts!

I thought this might make an interesting contrast to more traditional conflict in this genre of fiction. I believe that everyone is capable of behavior toward others that they would deplore if directed toward themselves. It's rarely deliberately cruel or hateful, but more the product of people who have less cause to be concerned about the consequences of their behavior (i.e., people with power) acting impulsively and without giving much consideration to how their behavior might impact others. In this story, I would say that only Dante and probably Jason are truly on an Anti-Social Personality Disorder spectrum. The rest of their crew go along with their leadership, and end up acting cruelly toward Perry, without giving much thought to the true consequences of what they are doing and because it serves a shallow short-term personal interest.

Somewhere in my collection of story ideas for a rainy day I have one about a conflict between a district attorney and would-be crime boss that plays out through manipulation of the DA's emotionally neglected teenage son. If I ever get around to writing that one I'll have to hire you as a technical consultant on the project.

My editor gets all the credit for this, Tal. I submitted all 55,000 words of the story as a single installment. He took one look, advised me that it needed to be broken up into chapters for publication at AD, and then did an excellent job finding those story breaks for me!

I blame their parents... and many of the other "responsible" adults in their lives. It doesn't appear that these young people have ever been taught their limits and their individual responsibilities as members of society. If they want something, they feel entitled to pursue it. They find an internal justification (e.g., he just doesn't know he's gay and we're helping him discover this about himself). If anyone does question their behavior they have a facile excuse on speed dial ("I was just complimenting him" or "We were flirting with each other, not with him") and generally they skate by without serious challenge... until it all comes to a head and things really do get serious. And then we all wonder how the situation could get so badly out of hand. Psychopaths are born that way but sociopaths are created, sometimes even by people with reasonably good intentions but no comprehension of their own inability to understand and manage social dynamics. I appreciate that you took the time to visit the V.S.A., Rutabaga! Maybe you're a lawyer, or maybe I'm not the only person that finds it entertaining to wander through the arcane back alleys of our legal system just for fun. Cool!

I had an awful time coming up with a good name for this story. Nothing really captured it in a way that I thought was interesting. Somewhere over the past few years I had made a note that Chastity Falls sounded like an interesting name for a place. I decided that this story was as good a time as any to use it. The name even serves as a kind of click-bait, but I hope not abusively so.

So at one point in our lives, at least, we were about 125 miles and two years apart. My family spent the summer of 1970 at Western Illinois University in Macomb, Illinois. We even met a family there from Rochester, NY. I find that the way we each construct our stories is fascinating. For me, I often get a thought or image in my mind for a brief scene or vignette and then begin wondering what it's all about. Sometimes I'm able to develop a fairly clear sense of what happened to get the characters in the scene to that point, and where they go from there. When it comes together in my mind enough to feel like an interesting story, I start writing. Please tell me that's normal!

My thanks to Rutabaga for starting this thread and to all who have commented so far. As an inexperienced author, I’m particularly dependent on direct feedback from readers so I can figure out whether or not I’m holding up my end of the author-reader relationship. This thread has already added a lot to my understanding of how people are reacting to this story. Thank you all! I don’t know whether there’s any value to maintaining an author’s anonymity. But since I consider who I am of little importance when compared to what I do, and since there does appear to be at least some curiosity here about me, I’ll say that I’m not young, even by Cole’s standards. I’m turning sixty-five this summer. I was born on the New Hampshire side of the Connecticut River, but have lived my entire life in the small towns and surrounding rural areas of southeastern Vermont- with the exception of the four years I spent attending college in Worcester, Massachusetts. The name Nico Grey, as I’m sure most anticipated, is a pseudonym. It’s derived from the name of one of my ancestors. It isn’t intended to conceal my identity so much as to distinguish any of my LGBT fiction from work I may do in the future in other genres. A few of you already know my name. I’m sure more will as we communicate directly. I appreciate the number of trenchant observations here about the characters in “Incident” and how they are behaving. I believe there’s psychological consistency in each character’s behavior, although I’m sure it won’t always be clear until the end of the story. Both Tal and Altimexis mention a couple of important hints that may explain behaviors. Some of the contributions to the main conflict in the story depends on one of my core beliefs about people in general, which is that we’re all the same deep down inside (think about Stanley Milgram’s psychological experiments in the ‘50s if you want a really dark take on that thought). We all have the same flaws and strengths, just expressed to different degrees and in different ways, that can reveal themselves depending on the circumstances in which we find ourselves, unless we act with great mindfulness and determination. In this story I never really spell out the motivations for each character’s behavior in detail. But I hope, taken with an understanding of how I view human behavior, that in the end most readers will find reasonable internal consistency to each character. I’ll be particularly interested to hear what people think- both what worked and where I missed the mark- when the story concludes in a few weeks. And finally a bit of a spoiler. I don’t think it an important point, but since Rachel was mentioned in the thread, she’s mostly a bit of a red herring. She’s a source of tension and conflict for Ross during the early part of the story that will- hopefully- help readers learn more about Ross and begin to care about what happens to him. She isn’t a very big part at all of the main crisis, which is the “incident”. But her contributions also aren’t completely finished yet. Hopefully that adds some interest to the remaining chapters of the story without spoiling the discovery process for anyone. I really enjoyed hearing from each of you and look forward to any other thoughts, both positive and negative criticism, you’re willing to share about this story or anything else I write.