EleCivil
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Posts posted by EleCivil
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And they'll have to brick up the front of the White House... so that it'll have no windows!
Zzzzzzzzing.
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Source: http://www.suntimes.com/news/6495246-452/m...peared-gay.html
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We all know that guys who have sex with guys can't donate blood.
But now the precedent is that guys who look "effeminate" can't give blood, because they might be lying about not having sex with guys. All I can say is "It's about time!" As the National Republican Party and several famous evangelical preachers have taught us, there are tons of gay dudes out there pretending to have normal, straight, non-tainted blood.
Now, it's easy to spot someone who LOOKS gay...but what about those that are better at hiding it? They could be sexing dudes every night, and giving blood every day, and we'd never know!
My proposed remedy?
Government issued ID cards. Like a driver's license, but for sex. That's right, gentlemen - all the excitement of the DMV, but with all the illicit thrills of proving to strangers that you are not a homosexual.
"But Civil," I hear you interjecting, "What if those deceitful Homer Sexuals simply LIE to the government to get their Certified Hetero (patent pending) cards?"
Simple solution: The cards will only be issued in straight strip clubs. And only to men with prominent erections.
But who, you might ask, would be willing to examine all these men's tumescent members in the name of purity?
Volunteers?
Anyone?
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A hundred years ago, we didn't know what ADHD was - we just knew that some kids were "unruly." We didn't know what dyslexia was - we just knew that some kids were "dumb." We didn't know what selective mutism was - we just knew that some kids were "stubborn." The list goes on and on - S.E.D., O.D.D., O.C.D., sensory disorders, the autism spectrum, agoraphobia. All of which, when observed out of context, could lead someone to thinking a person is simply "bad" or "weird" or "crazy."
The scary (and fascinating) part is that these are just the ones we know about. A hundred years from now, how many more "brain disorders" will we have discovered?
What happens if we discover a "brain disorder" (read: chemical/electrical impulse) that causes, say, generosity, or friendliness? Maybe the only reason those don't have names and medications yet is because we don't look at positive behavior the same way we look at negative behavior. We see someone flip out and throw a punch at a bystander, and we ask "What's wrong with him? How can we fix it?" We see someone giving to charity and we think "There's a good person who made a good choice." Who's to say he isn't simply being led around by, say, Good Samaritan Syndrome, a mental disorder that makes one value the comfort of others more than one's own?
And what's love if not a mental disorder that causes one to think and act irrationally? If the (occasionally faulty) probability formula running through our neurological/endocrine system starts telling us that another person can cause greater happiness than our previously targeted obsessions, that could cause us to change our behavior - start being a better person. This would explain people overcoming addictions for someone they love (be it in the familial or romantic sense of the word).
Could this also explain religious experiences (love of a god) leading to someone changing their ways?
Is "nurture" simply an outgrowth of "nature" - the slight alterations in our mental probability formula based on intellectual (rather than instinctual) discoveries? Living things attempt to adapt to their environments, after all. We've all read about sociopaths who are able to "blend in" because they've learned the scripts that "normal" people are supposed to follow...but isn't that what everyone does? Perhaps there isn't much in the way of true "change," but more along the lines of "practiced adaptation."
What if the chemical cocktail we call "love" could override the chemical cocktails that cause hostility, or selfishness? Literally re-wire the nature of a man?
That would be a materialist view of redemption through love, yes?
But don't mind me, I'm just spitballin'.
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Aw, shucks. Thank you! I'm honored to be named in such company.
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What makes me crazy are writers that either use character names that are distractingly off-beat, or names that are much too similar (and confusing). To me, you have to pick names that are distinctive but also different, both in sound, but also in number of syllables (or at least vowels or emphasis).
With you 100% on avoiding similar names. I swear I've read stories about Jase, Jake, Jack, and Jess that have made me bail from sheer confusion as soon as there was a conversation with all four of them in the room.
Culture/setting makes a difference, though: the top Social Security names only reflect the majority, and "distractingly off-beat" is in the ears of the listener. For instance, I had a student named John, and the name struck me as downright strange, because the rest of his classmates had names like Undelontz, Jza'Artist, and Takeelah. To my ears, John had become a "distracting" name. In my neighborhood, if you name your boy "Daniel" or your girl "Emily," (two of the top Social Security picks) people start looking at you funny.
Ironically, the most common name in my school? "Unique."
My general rule of thumb is that if a character's name doesn't mesh with his/her culture, it should make sense within the context of that character's family. Thesaurus Jones was the son of two librarians, Rye Peterson's mom wrote her thesis on Salinger, Qwerty Smith's dad headbutted a keyboard and picked the first few letters he came up with (he was a bit of a drinker, that one).
(I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know, Pec - this is mainly for the sake of any rookies who might be reading this looking for naming advice.)
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Naming characters has always been one of the most difficult parts of writing, for me. At once point, my method was to open a CD at random and point to a band member's name. Well, this site makes it a bit simpler:
http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/
If you scroll down, it will allow you to enter any birth year to see the most popular baby names from that year.
So if your story is set in 2011 and your characters are 18, type in 1993 and see what comes up.
These are the records from the US Social Security Administration, so it's a bit more accurate than other "baby names" sites.
Granted, you may have names in mind already for your main characters, but this is a quick way to come up with realistic names for extras.
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All right, I'm late catching the bus on this one, but I just wanted to swing by and say that Cole is still awesome.
I tend to not start reading his stories until they're finished, because I want to read them all in one sitting. That's how I read most good authors, to be honest, whether net-authors or print-authors.
I think Cole has carved out a niche for writing about kids with issues learning to accept themselves. I mean, don't get me wrong, a lot of authors in this genre do that, but Cole seems to do it consistently RIGHT. And he tends to make the psychological growth and inner turmoil the center of a story, rather than a cheap way to add drama to a romance.
I like the format of this one - 50+ quick chapters rather than ~20 long ones. Again, it's something I don't usually see in net serials, and I thought it worked well for the pacing of this story.
Also, Cole is the KING of writing asshole school administrators. My god. I think I know where Mr. Johnson went after he left this story. Seriously, this character rang so true with me because I've worked with him in the past. I may have - MAAAAY have - ended up telling him that if he ever made one of my students cry again, I'd have his job and hang his license over my mantle as a trophy* (What I WANTED to say was that I'd kick his ass and have his balls hung over my mantle, but I was trying to be professional). See that? Cole does the love-to-hate villains well enough to make me reminisce about their real-world counterparts.
Anyway, if there's any other procrastinators out there who have been putting off this story, get to it.
*I did. Well, not the trophy part. The state kind of frowns on that, and I don't really have a mantle.
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I like that the Anonymous rep in this video is represented by a picture of Batman fighting a shark with a lightsaber.
Aside from being awesome, you can pull some symbolism out of a vigilante using light to take out a natural predator.
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Video: Anonymous hacks a WBC site during a live interview with one of the Phelps clan.
Abridged version-
Phelps: "God is with us! No one can silence us!"
Anon: "While you were saying that, I hacked your website."
Phelps: "...You're going to hell."
EDIT: Just noticed that James posted this in another thread. Jeeeeez.
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I've been procrastinating, too. I finally got around to putting up my Bachelor Tree today.
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Ev'ry wench an' most sailors did fawn
O'er a Silver ol' Captain named John
As his cutlass he'd wield,
Three full feet of steel!
...But that's not why they call him "Long"
(Happy belated Talk Like A Pirate Day)
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I?ve read that you write, as you put it, like ?a holy fool,? not censoring yourself, and then you edit yourself like ?a ravening pit bull.?
I wish that wasn?t my process, but it seems to be. Cutting is always good, you can always cut more. In order to fully imagine the lives, you have to imagine the characters brushing their teeth, but you don?t have to describe them brushing their teeth. ? Wall Street Journal interview of author Marina Endicott, April 2, 2010
YES!
Yes, yes, yes!
Great advice.
Before I start writing a story, I don't just picture the character as they are during the story - I think about what they were like years before the story, and what they'll be doing years later. Knowing "This kid is going to grow up to be a marketing executive" or "This guy wanted to be Spiderman when he was a kid" helps me flesh out the characters, even if those ideas never make it to the final text.
I also tend to write a bunch of scenes that never make it to the final cut of the story, but which I still think of as "cannon" - I don't include the scene in which one character notices that the other always rushes through her homework on the bus ride to school, but in my mind and as I'm writing, I still think of the character doing just that. It makes me feel like I know that character a little better.
Coincidentally, the first scene I wrote for Laika involved two characters brushing their teeth. Heh.
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"You can be a single lady, too!" and the deadpanned "I'm a horrible father" had me cracking up.
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I like it if it's catchy and I can dance to it.
Aye, that helps.
*Slamdances next to Pecman*
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Despite my age, I don't have much patience for general rock music. Take the aforementioned song by The Killers, for instance - it sounds like it's just one long chorus. They keep saying the same thing over and over. Booooring.
There are really two things on which I judge music:
1 - Lyrical content. I can listen to anything of any genre, provided the lyrics are interesting to me. Whether they're socially relevant, like much of peace punk, anarcho/socialist folk, or activist rap, or whether they just have a lot of cool wordplay and challenging vocabulary, like abstract rap or nerdcore.
2 - Honesty/genuineness. I hate, hate, HATE songs that feel "fake," in which the performer comes off like a bad cartoon character. "Party, party, rock and roll! WOOO!" falls under this category, as does "Guns, money, and hoes" rap, and "tough guy" hardcore. I respect musicians that show themselves as they really are. Auto-tune and studio tracks that seem very, very polished and produced fall under this category, as well. I like to hear the rough edges, the voices cracking, the fingers sliding up and down the strings between notes, the pops and hisses. It reminds me that there's an actual person making that song, rather than a bunch of guys in suits telling their studio techs how to make it more marketable. To quote one of my favorite songs on the topic:
"They know how to produce a hit
Same formula in every track
That?s not art, that?s just wrong
Same ol' shit in every song
But zombies, they just sing along."
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[...]Rekers's contentions that he hired the escort to help carry his luggage and that he was trying to save the soul of a lost sinner.
This is seriously the best excuse ever. It even beats "Hiking the old Appalachian Trail" and "I've got a wide stance."
"Well, I needed SOMEONE to carry my luggage, and the first thing that came to mind was 'gay hooker'. I mean, come on, I would have gone with a female hooker, but I needed someone with a lot of upper body strength, and...uh...also, I wanted to convert him. For god. It was all part of a straightness regimen of heavy lifting, prayer, kneeling, and ass rubbing. Er, did I say ass rubbing? I meant...Bible rubbing. STUDY! Bible study."
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I'm hoping more comics will add gay characters: like a "Jasper, the Friendly Gay Ghost," or perhaps Superboy will gain a gay teenage friend in Smallville. Lotta potential for this idea... hmmmmm....
My favorite gay comic characters are Hulkling and Wiccan/Asguardian from the Young Avengers. Their relationship is kind of hinted at in the beginning, but more overt as it goes on.
There's a brilliant scene in which they're trying to tell their parents that they're superheroes...but their parents think they're (finally) trying to come out of the closet.
The series won a GLAAD award, I believe.
And then of course there's Midnighter (gay Batman) who is officially married to Apollo (gay Superman), and they have an adopted daughter. He once killed a homophobic bad guy by jamming a long, hard, pole in his mouth. And then out the back of his head. So, you know. A cool guy.
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http://ecopolitology.org/2010/04/09/westbo...-west-virginia/
So, the WBC sent some of their clan to go demonstrate in West Virginia, saying that God smote the coal miners because of gays existing or some such nonsense.
Personally, I think if an omnipotent being wanted to send a message to gays, he would have blown up something a little more gay than a West Virginian coal mine. You know, like a gay bar or Ricky Martin. But hey, what do I know? Maybe the dude's just got really poor aim. Or maybe it's part of a master plan to eliminate coal so that gay dudes get really cold during the winter and suffer from shrinkage. Mysterious Ways, and such.
Anyway, the WBC protesters get drowned out by counter-protesters chanting for peace, love, and John Denver. Well, I'm with 'em most of the way.
Watch the video to get a good look at some of the counter-protest signs: "God Hates Signs", "I Love Everybody", "This Is A Sign", "God Hates Figs", etc. being held in front of the Westboro signs. Also, there's a flash mob line-dancing to a John Denver dance mix.
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I'm picturing a dude in full Klansman gear watching a Westboro rally, shaking his pointy head, and saying "Jeez, fellas. Ever heard of subtlety?"
Also, I think this is a case for the Klan Disruption Squad!
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I have a strong suspicion that my former boss is a witch.
You listening, Saudi Arabia?
Also, John Proctor is sending his spirit into my room at night. He's an all right fellow, but he and The Devil always leave quite the mess. At least, that's what I tell people when they notice how disorganized it is.
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I have a headache but in spite of it, I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words. Even Cole because we all know his words weren't sincere. He's plotting to do me in with an Oxford Comma. If you find a dead raccoon with an Oxford Coma an his back, it's probably me. And Cole is the perpetrator.
And here I thought I was the only one who'd clashed with Cole about Oxford Commas.
Pro-Oxy for life, baby.
Which reminds me of this article that you and other writers/editors would probably enjoy.
who would have figured that sweet little Vinny Barbarino would have grown up to be the Punisher's nemesis Howard Saint.I have to admit that I DID NOT see that coming.
I don't know. I think The Punisher fits in well in inner-city school settings. That's why I have a Punisher logo on my faculty ID, and occasionally straighten out students by threatening to "go all Punisher" on them. They have yet to respond with a spirited "Up your nose with a rubber hose" or "In your socks with a pound of lox," however.
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Avast ye, impostor!
Be not fooled, friends and neighbors! The beast that walks before you is not goodman WriteByThySelf! Hark! He's wearing a mask!
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...Why isn't it coming off?
Oh, right. The raccoon thing. Jeez, it has been a while.
Never mind, then.
Welcome back. Your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about. For the names have all changed since you've hung around, but those dreams have remained and they've turned around.
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I think this was a very good flash, immersing the reader in the atmosphere of the scene. But I have to admit it left this Brit scratching my head. I'm only guessing, from the one word 'dunk', that it's about basketball. Beyond that I'm lost. But that's my fault, not the story's.
Do you not play H-O-R-S-E across the pond?
It's a variation of basketball that concentrates on trick shots. The first player takes a shot, and the second player has to match it - same distance, style, etc. If they can't match the shot, they get a letter (first H, then O, and so on). The first person to get all five letters loses.
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The Mountain Goats - "No Children" is on the list, so I'm happy. One of my favorite songs ever. I've got five or six different cover versions of it.
Also, A Tribe Called Quest? Cool.
And, yes, the inclusion of Biggie made me laugh.
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Is this just Conservative Paranoia?
in News & Views
Posted
As a teacher, I don't accept friend requests from students on Facebook. It just doesn't seem professional to me.
First, there's the matter of the teachers' privacy. While I don't post anything too personal myself, I can't control what other people post on my wall. Also, I'm friends with several co-workers, and becoming friends with students would allow them access to OTHER teachers' posts.
Second, there's a line of familiarity that you don't cross with students. I teach in a high-poverty inner-city school. A lot of my students don't have their parents around, leading to a lot of abandonment issues (and, not uncommonly, attachment disorder). For their sake, I need to make it clear that I love them, I care about them, but I'm their teacher - not their parent, not their friend. It may seem cold, but I think it's important. If your teacher gives you a detention, or fails you on an assignment, or refers you to the office, it's their job - you may not like it, but it's not personal. If your FRIEND does it, it's a betrayal, and it hurts.
We've had some issues with teachers and students on Facebook, as well. Nothing inappropriate from the teacher's side, but we've had students forget that they've added teachers, only to post pictures of their drug stash, guns, condoms, inappropriate pictures of themselves, or messages about what sexual adventures they've had with other students. That puts the school in a position where we're legally obligated to report the kids and their parents to the police, which is always dangerous considering how many of the parents have gang ties. It's not a good position to be in.
As for the educational uses of social networking, there's a website I was introduced to at an Educational Tech convention - www.edmodo.com - that is basically Facebook for students, teachers, and parents. It's open to parents, so they know that nothing inappropriate is going on, and it's separate from the teachers' and students' personal sites, so it doesn't run the risk of sharing private information.