So did y'all miss me? Did ya?
Didn't even know I was gone, I bet.
Yesterday at about 2.30 pm. I was getting ready to go give lover boy his coffee break when there was an almighty rumbling and scraping noise form outside the house. It sounded just like the iceberg cutting into the side of the Titanic.
I looked out the window, but I couldn't see an iceberg in the street, or even a bulldozer. Did I imagine it?
So I go outside and the first thing I notice is that the overhead power cables are resting on the lower branches of the trees.
Then I look around and I see it. A flying saucer has landed on the roof of the house...err scratch that, what I actually saw was the 30 foot power pole bent over at about 35* from perpendicular. This is no light weight power pole. It has three extensions for two sets of high tension cables as well as normal voltage and telephone lines. All the cables dangling or dipping precariously into the trees.
Off in the distance is a smallish tray-truck. I go over to the truck. The driver is on the mobile phone reporting to the police.
He is about 25, light brown hair closed cropped. His bottom lip protrudes with a sexy fullness from his dimpled chin; his jaw aching to get off the phone and start nibbling on my...I have an sex attention span difficulty which is not helped by his glowing blue eyes framed by his boyish arched eyebrows and upturned nose. Sigh.
He hangs up the phone. "Are you okay?" I ask, although I have already determined that he is indeed very okay.
"I'm fine and I can't see anything wrong with the truck."
Sure enough, the truck doesn't even seem to have a scratch, but he knows he hit the power pole.
He walks around the truck, grinning a sexy wide mouthed smile that reveal petite, perfect teeth. I guess the smile is from embarrassment, rather than flirting with me or even thinking that the whole situation is funny.
I watch the way his khaki overalls flow and follow the contours of his lithe young body, whilst my eyes do their best to X-ray them.
Finally he stops, his hands on his hips, causing his biceps to expand, "I have to go," he says, "the police said they will have a look later." So he mounts his truck (sigh, lucky truck) and drives off. I note his number plate.
Knowing our overworked police I go back into the house and ring the electricity supply company who promises to send a crew straight away. I leave to go give the beloved one his coffee break.
Three hours later, (it was a long coffee break), I return home and find the street is covered in emergency vehicles. On the roof of my house is the young truck driver threatening to jump to his death if I do not marry him...err, oh, alright, that is not quite right. The driver is only in my mind and the electric company workers are very busy with cranes and ladders and lift trucks dismantling the lines so they can replace the pole.
Wow! I exclaim.
"It's going to be awhile before we can restore power," one of the workers tells me, "Probably around midnight."
Okay I think to myself that means I can have a sleep and go online at midnight--no problem. Then he drops the bombshell.
"Before you can have power back you will need to get an electrician to make some repairs," he tells me, "as your service pipe is snapped off at the base."
"My service pipe is snapped off at the base? I had better go to the emergency room." He walks off muttering something about everyone being a bloody comedian.
To cut a long story short, they didn't finish till 5am and my electrician didn't arrive till 7.30am. Then I had to wait till midday for the supply company to plug in the service fuses.
In the meantime the young truck driver was only visible in my dreams, which meant I did not sleep very well at all.
I of course, have missed you all very much and am launching civil litigation proceedings against everyone who has caused me to be off line for over 20 hours.
I would sure like to sue the pants off a certain young truck driver. That would make for a satisfactory compensation.