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72. How straight is he?



So how do you tell if a guy is straight?

Well there are certain tell-tale signs if you know what to look for.

The most obvious one is to watch a guy when a girl walks by.

If his tongue falls out of his mouth and he does an impersonation of a slobbering, St Bernard dog, with drool reaching down and catching on his shirt, then you can possibly be certain he is interested in at least one woman from a hormonal point of view.

What if there are no woman around though? Well, there are certain little things that give straight guys away.

Watch the way they hold the newspaper or magazine in the bus or train. They don't hold the magazine with finesse.

The grip the pages between their thumb and index finger instead of delicately holding the edge of the page with their finger tips.

When they sit down they will lean forward and then drop into the seat with such force that the back of the chair or seat bends out of shape.

Speaking of shape, a straight guy will generally have no sense of his butt. He doesnt wiggle it as he walks and he drags his feet in a kind of shuffle that has parents yelling at him to lift his feet.

He also slouches, giving you an early view of what age will do to his abdomen.

Getting back to walking; it is really more a lurch to the left and then to the right. This can be rather charming in an apish sort of way as it indicates a gentle soul who hasn't yet learned to aggressively plod one foot after another in attempt to intimidate the hell out of all the other straight guys.

One of the dead give aways of a straight guy is the way they incline their heads when talking. You can see this quite clearly in those men who feel they know everything (another straight trait). Also watch them driving their cars. They hold their arms out of the window at stop lights with the palm of their hand down. Their other arm is usually rubbing their nuts. When they drive off the external arm changes position to grab onto the roof of the car to make sure it doesnt lift off.

Straight guys in cars rarely see cute guys on motorbikes and often just plough straight into them. This is different to gay guys who gently nudge the bike with their cars to let the bike rider know he is attractive in those leathers.

Speaking of leather; then there is the belt. Straight guys wear belts; thin leather belts in trousers that have no hope of falling down. Totally useless belts.

Wide leather belts with crazy designs and buckles are okay because they adorn the entrance to a horny Valhalla, but generally speaking most gay guys don't wear belts as they just delay the entry of the gods.

Watch their eyes. If the iris of the eye widens as they look at you, just hand them your personal card with your cell phone number on it, or simply ask if they would like to see your new sheets on your bed. That one is not straight.

Then again there are guys who do all these things because they think it is acting straight that will land them a gay guy for the night or weekend or even a lifetime.

How bent is that? :shock:

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