How can I say this without being offensive?
If gay people went to gay school, I would ride the gay short bus.
I must be the most incompetent gay man in North America.
I would rather hunt than shop.
When I'm in a new city, I check out the hardware stores to see if they have magical kung-fu tools that I've never seen before.
My wardrobe has more in common with Walmart and Target than Pierre Cardin or Brooks Brothers.
I drive a truck with a big steel toolbox that has everything in it that I would need to build a space shuttle in the field out of spare parts.
I'd rather watch Monday Night Football than Desperate Housewives. If forced to watch Desperate Housewives or any musical, I would probably chew off an arm or a leg to escape.
My GayDar is a defunct East German model that Boy George wouldn't set off.
I hate gay bars because they play music that makes me want to hurl and I've got better in my truck. *listening to Stone Temple Pilots*
Several Home Depots and Lowes have my picture in the back and send me Christmas cards.
I would be more likely to decorate your house with a potato gun than track lighting.
When I'm bored, I take my tools out, clean, oil and organize them.
Mexicans don't like it when I'm on a construction site because I work too hard and make them look bad.
If I don't show up at my local Borders at least once a month, they call my house to make sure I'm all right.
One of my favorite possessions is a Makita Reciprocating Saw I call Shiva, destroyer of worlds.
I like cats buts it's because they have enough attitude to draw blood and don't brown-nose.
I cook but if I did not, I wouldn't eat. Who would feed me? Yo mama? *laughs hysterically at cleverly inserting a yo mama joke*
I cruise Home Depot. :lmao:
Who needs to work out when you work hard?
I got carded when I bought smokes last week.
I get cruised by "old men", get annoyed and realize that we're the same age.
I am in no shape, form or fashion what some people might call fabulous.
I am in the best shape of my life while people that I went to high school with look like shit.
I declare myself the winner.