Merkin
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Posts posted by Merkin
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.sdrawkcab sgniht gniod snoitanilcni rou htiw elpoep tuoba tnemmoc a ekam lliw I kniht t'nod I
That's rather hard to read aloud.
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Depends on who is buying. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear.
-Lady Mondegreen
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English 10 Part 2
The subtle triumph of Cole's narrative is that it is two stories. Just as Mark's composition is in two parts, so is this story as much about Mrs. Martinez, his teacher, as it is about Mark. Mrs. Martinez's ability to recognize Mark's potential and to draw him out -- by challenging him, frustrating him, enraging him, and most of all, by having the flexibility to give him room to attempt and then to achieve, is what makes this so much more than another tale of teenage high school angst. This teacher has seen beyond Mark's facade, as a good teacher must; she has done it before and she will go on to do it again with other students, whose lives she also will repair. These are the teachers we remember in our own lives, for they are the ones who make all the difference.
Thank you, Cole. You must have had some dynamite teachers of your own.
James
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What I love about this story are the layers of discovery Mark encounters through his writing along the way. Each layer he uncovers gives him something new to know about himself, and by the end of this brilliant tale he is able to see himself clearly as a more fully realized, more rounded human being than he had believed himself to be. He is not the person he (and we) thought he was at the outset: we learn along with him that it is all too easy for a young person to accept and act upon a stereotype of oneself.
Wonderful concept wonderfully executed, Cole.
James
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Here's one in honor of Mike Arram's wonderful saga:
There was a young lad from Rothenia
Who confessed to a certain sex mania;
"Aha!" cried the king
"I know just the thing...
"Send him on to the boys in Albania!"
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Well, I'm just gobsmacked. I never thought I was in the running for a DesDownUnder Award, and I'm tremendously touched by it. Thank you Des, and to all of you who see beneath the surface.
I'm a bit speechless at the moment.
James
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Surface Tension
by Merkin
His path to grace won't be his face, I fear;
No noble brow nor Roman prow lives there,
And while his ears would sooner suit a jug
At least they match, and balance out his mug.
What hair's his own, while fair, so lank and thin
It fails to hide the shine, or mask his chin;
A pity since his jaw needs much more thrust
To help his smile, spread 'cross his dial, win trust.
His specs so dense I can't make sense, you see,
Where he is aimed -- I must suppose it's me.
I'm puzzled why he'd catch my eye; you'd think
I'd spurn away his offer of a drink...
Yet, what you see is never what you get:
Turned out to be the finest man I've met!
I took a chance and put aside my pride;
Looked past his face -- and saw the grace inside.
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May every season
be sufficient reason
for peace on earth
good will toward all
James Merkin
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Just about everything of yours I've read is worth publication, Bruin. Congratulations.
To think we knew him when he was just a cub!
James
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Sad to say, not the beginning of the end. That beginning occurred quite some time ago.
Early on the American motion picture industry was saddled with a similar oversight body, with the authority to censor film productions prior to release according to a strict Production Code. Perhaps some of its strictures may be of interest (Wiki source).
'The Production Code enumerated three "General Principles" as follows:
1. No picture shall be produced that will lower the moral standards of those who see it. Hence the sympathy of the audience should never be thrown to the side of crime, wrongdoing, evil or sin.
2. Correct standards of life, subject only to the requirements of drama and entertainment, shall be presented.
3. Law, natural or human, shall not be ridiculed, nor shall sympathy be created for its violation.
Specific restrictions were spelled out as "ParticularApplications" of these principles:
Nakedness and suggestive dances were prohibited.
The ridicule of religion was forbidden, and ministers of religion were not to be represented as comic characters or villains.
The depiction of illegal drug use was forbidden, as well as the use of liquor, "when not required by the plot or for proper characterization".
Methods of crime (e.g. safe-cracking, arson, smuggling) were not to be explicitly presented.
References to alleged sex perversion (such as homosexuality) and venereal disease were forbidden, as were depictions of childbirth.
The language section banned various words and phrases that were considered to be offensive.
Murder scenes had to be filmed in a way that would discourage imitations in real life, and brutal killings could not be shown in detail. "Revenge in modern times" was not to be justified.
The sanctity of marriage and the home had to be upheld. "Pictures shall not imply that low forms of sex relationship are the accepted or common thing". Adultery and illicit sex, although recognized as sometimes necessary to the plot, could not be explicit or justified and were not supposed to be presented as an attractive option.
Portrayals of miscegenation were forbidden.
"Scenes of Passion" were not to be introduced when not essential to the plot. "Excessive and lustful kissing" was to be avoided, along with any other treatment that might "stimulate the lower and baser element".
The flag of the United States was to be treated respectfully, and the people and history of other nations were to be presented "fairly".
The treatment of "Vulgarity", defined as "low, disgusting, unpleasant, though not necessarily evil, subjects" must be "subject to the dictates of good taste". Capital punishment, "third-degree methods", cruelty to children, animals, prostitution and surgical operations were to be handled with similar sensitivity.'
Proving, I suppose, that the right to "improve" our fellow man trumps all other rights.
James
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Predictable or not, it is very special. A life lesson well worth learning.
Thanks, Des
James
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Thanks to all of you.
Indeed you did comment, Bruin, but in another venue. However I am just as grateful for your words now as then.
That was you, Des. You were very charming. Are you still wearing them?
Thank you for your recent comments, SmallTownBoy. Don't take the banter here too seriously.
James Merkin
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On a smaller scale, but posing a larger problem for me, is reading dialogue without tag lines. Two person conversational dialogue is very common in fiction, and I often find myself scratching my head halfway down a page of it and then counting back to see if I can figure out who actually was the speaker of a given line when tag lines (attribution) is left off or rarely given. I know that many writers dislike the overuse of 'he said' but a good writer should be able to sense that his reader may go astray and lose understanding unless a tag line is inserted here and there.
James
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Change for change's sake. And yes, that's only a point of view and not everyone will agree with it. But Curmudgeons like me and Des can glower and say 'Bah, Humbug'.
Count me in on that. I'm the bloke in the car ahead of you who is still using hand signals for turns...
James
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I suppose what's left for us is to become historians...
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An exquisite dilemma. As the author you may have had a solid plan for how the story was going to end, and you may have settled on that before you began to write. But the real difficulty, I believe, is dealing with how the narrative then played out, and how the characters -- now real people -- are going to end up.
Good luck with that!
James Merkin
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This is a very impressive startup for what appears to be an important story. It would not take much editorial guidance to set it right. Your command of English grammar is only slightly flawed and problems with voice and tense are easily remedied. What comes through very strongly for me is your ability to deliver nuance and subtlety.
I encourage you to go on and I would certainly look forward to reading the result. Unfortunately I cannot offer to help with editing, but I am sure there is someone here with editorial skills whose imagination will be seized by this undertaking.
James Merkin
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Thank you all very much. When I first tried to write this it was at least three times longer and had a lot of characters and encounters and backstory. After all, what could be more exciting than being trapped in a pitch-dark mall with hundreds of strangers all out to pick your pocket? Flash fiction is an amazing filter for separating wheat from chaff. I'm very glad there's enough story left to please you.
James
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Holidays coming, time to hit the malls...
Rescue in the Dark
by Merkin
?I?ll get us out of this,? Jeremy said. Sam gripped Jeremy?s shoulders tighter.
?Jesus, Jere, it?s pitch dark in here with the power out.? Sam walked into Jeremy?s backside. ?Oof. Sorry.? Sam was close to panic.
?Relax, Sam. You?re safe with me. I know this mall like the back of my hand.?
?I guess you do, don?t you? Where are we now??
?Just at the escalator.?
Slowly they felt their way downward. Suddenly Jeremy stopped.
?Listen!?
In the darkness ahead they heard soft sobbing.
?Someone?s lying on the escalator.? said Jeremy. Carefully he worked alongside a small form.
?Can I help? ?
A small voice said ?I fell down.?
?Are you hurt??
?I?m scared. Who are you??
?I?m Jeremy, and this is Sam.? Jeremy realized this was a young boy. ?Can you get up??
The boy slowly got to his feet. ?I have to find my mom?
Where is she??
?I was meeting her at the food court. Then the lights went out and I fell.?
?What?s your name?? asked Jeremy.
?Arthur.?
?OK, Arthur, you?re safe now with us.?
The boy sniffled and grabbed Jeremy?s arm. They made their way onto the main floor of the dark mall, Jeremy guiding as he confidently moved forward.
?There?s mom!? the boy cried, while simultaneously Sam shouted ?The lights are on!?
?Oh, sweetie, I was so worried!? the woman rushed toward them and hugged the boy. ?How did you get back here in the dark??
?Jeremy did it,? sobbed Arthur. ?He found me, and led the way.?
?Thank you so much!? Arthur?s mother exclaimed, turning to Jeremy and putting out her hand. Puzzled, she saw Jeremy was looking over her shoulder.
?He?s blind, ma?am.? said Sam.
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Distorted Perspective is finished, and I have done reading it.
My first reaction was to just sit and take it all in. The ending is so... right. What an accomplishment for a writer!
Then, thinking about all the principal characters, I realized they had all changed. Each had undergone a transformation before our eyes, and we could now see who they really were as our perspective on each of them shifted. This transformation was never inevitable, and for several of the characters it was highly unlikely. But it was fully possible. Thankfully, those possibilities became actualities, to the benefit of all.
As for us, the readers -- we have changed, as well. Our perspective, no longer distorted, can now see what might be accomplished: through understanding, through effort, through love.
Absolutely wonderful, Cole.
James Merkin
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If the order of posting is meant to stand when these are ultimately lashed together by Steven, then what precedes this final glimpse does expand upon the last sentence, and in a way that evokes (for me) both great sadness and a sense of completion. A most compelling series, Steven.
James Merkin
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A delicious spin, Gee. Reminds all of us to check our blinders.
James Merkin
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It's youth, Cole. They have a better memory for continuity, especially if there is a long interval between chapters. I'll wait it out too.
James
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I think you teach as much by example as by discussion. Since you and your wife are actively working at developing a lifestyle that includes accommodation to your orientation and open conversation about your writing, this will, over time, offer your sons ample opportunity to perceive that yours is a solid, established family situation with features of openmindedness and inclusion. That is who their mother and father are, and that is the example they will see for themselves as they mature and become more aware. As they come to you with questions about sexuality, or as you perceive the need to provide them with "the lecture" about sexuality, you will have already provided the groundwork they will need for you to include discussion about the orientations available to men and women, and about how you and their mother have worked it out.
James Merkin
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New Years Eve Traditions
in The Raccoon's Den
Posted
A local custom in the southeastern United States is to eat a dish of hog jowls and black-eyed peas for luck sometime during the evening. However, my mother's family swore by sauerkraut cooked with pork, while my father's forebearers sought snacks of pickled herring. Thus, any of my attempts to be both a good son and politically correct have always led to intense gastric distress.
James Merkin