Merkin
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Posts posted by Merkin
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Why, thank you, Bruin. I accept with alacrity. I shall wear my pocket protector and my slide rule.
James
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I can think of a few mainstream writers of my youth who were masters of that particular POV: Somerset Maugham and Nevil Shute (Norway). What they lent the tale they were telling, by using such a voice, was a heightened sense of investment. I think it may lead the reader to think, perhaps subconsciously, that if the narrator is that interested in this other person, then perhaps I should be as well. Thus a sense of commitment to the story is provided straightaway.
James
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I do wonder what the roadsigns would be like when entering or leaving these zones.
James
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Slow down there, you cosmopolitans. Here in the heartland, a 'footpath' only goes out to the privy. For longer journeys we have 'trails' that go 'yonder', although often you can't get there from here. We also have natural highways, called 'gullies' but you need to keep a weather eye out when you use them. They eventually lead to the sea.
James
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Every time I think I've identified the protagonist, a new personality jumps to the forefront.
I'm awfully glad both Chapters 4 and 5 were posted together. Once a week updating for Cole's stories is always nervewracking, and splitting these two chapters would have been a killer.
James
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Forbidden Fruit
Just try to send cupcakes nowadays. Unh unh, forbidden. At least in public schools in my section of Virginia. Too many combined threats: food poisoning, terrorism, fat pills, take your pick. And God forbid you should try to send treats for Valentines, or Halloween.
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Past Perfect creates a tense situation!
The past perfect tense is used in narrative to establish that an event has already occurred in past time. Other happenings, written in the past tense, then occur afterward.
Perhaps the events of our story have already taken place. Maybe our storyline inhabits some frozen moment of time, and the outcome is already ordained.
I'm reminded of An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge, that delicious sleight-of-hand by Ambrose Bierce, so brilliantly filmed by Robert Enrico.
Are we, too, poised between noose and neck here?
James Merkin
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Seems to be rather widespread:
Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda
By Shel Silverstein
All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' in the sun,
Talkin' 'bout the things
They woulda coulda shoulda done...
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little Did.
The more interesting (side) issue to have arisen, I think, concerns an editor's influence on matters of style. I'd have to say that if my editor (in the real world) staked out a position like David's did in Kaos, I'd move on in a hurry. I believe, and need, reasonable editorial oversight, and I want them to be thoroughly anal with their concerns, but my "voice" belongs to me and I won't be a bottom to their issues over that.
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Amen to that. So profound, so achingly perfect. This story/memoir has everything a confused young gay boy could need, to get him thinking and maybe to get him centered. Thanks so much to Grasshopper for writing this for those gay boys, and for setting a standard for those writers who share the same heartfelt wish to make the world a bit better, a bit more understandable, a bit more bearable.
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It wasn't only Jews, you know,
all lined up, heads shaved,
wearing colored patches,
homeless, starving, beaten, violated;
waiting to enter that chamber.
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What he said.
Elecivil has a gift for characterization and this first chapter of Laika is a prime example. The brothers are absolutely wonderful, and the car stuff is just right. And of course we can't wait to find out more about the boy with the big eyes. What a lovely kick-off for what I hope is a loooong story...
James Merkin
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'The Invitation' moved from Flash Fiction
in Writers' Workshop
Posted
My K&E came with a slick leather holster. In mid-twentieth century America you could identify any engineering student by the fact that he sported one of those strapped to his belt (unless of course it was covered by the shirtails of his hawaiian shirt.)
Nevil Shute Norway's autobiography, by the way, is entitled Sliderule.
James