Camy
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Posts posted by Camy
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Onanistically speaking
by Camy
The pleasures of masturbation
Are too many to really write down
But no matter your sex, colour or creed
A good w*nk will not let you down
No matter if you're left or right handed
No matter if you're straight, bi or gay
The pleasures of masturbation
Make us groan and shout hip, hip hooray!
When your other half sulks in 'a moody'
Or you fancy the neighbour next door
A good half an hour with w*nk rag and shower
brings pleasure and adds to your score.
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erm ... so I'm told. Being English I can't possibly comment.
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Des,
Fantastic, the ending sent a shiver down my spine. I'm glad you gave us a touching resolution rather than destruction.
We stand facing each other like ancient statues
Carved from the granite of youth, by the tools of gods.
Great imagery!
Camy 8)
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There are some heavy duty computing books in there, but no novels ... erm ... why?
I especially liked 'Fondling your muse'! Mine enjoys that too. ;)
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I didn't know you wrote prose. My bad.
Excellent, really excellent.
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Damn. I went to the wrong school.
I'm really enjoying this.
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heh. Often used as 'Cor blimey!'
It's a wonderfully rich language we all have the pleasure of using... I really wish I could speak French or Spanish or any other language, but sadly languages are not my thing.
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Gob Shite is also good (meaning a mouthy bastard or someone who talks crap) - 'That's a load of old gob shite' or you could mix and match - 'Fuck you you little gob shite twat or I'll smack you in the gob'. or 'that's a load of old gob shite.'
Gobbing means spitting with lots of phlegm, though you have to 'hawk' the phlegm up first... yelch.
'Mush' is also good - it means mouth 'shut your big fat mush' or alternatively a person can be a mush as in 'how are you doing mush?' or 'Oi! Mush!'
Then there is Cockney rhyming slang... Plates of meat = feat as in 'my plates are barking' or Apples and pears = stairs etc etc etc.
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There isn't an emoticon suitable for what I'm feeling now.
Thank you.
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As you dream
-Camy-
If by chance you remember me
Do you think kindly of that child?
The lie I led designed to protect me from you
Still I yearn and I still crave
To live a life I cannot live
For fear of hurting those I cannot hurt
Another lie to stop the tears
That want to flow, to soothe lost years
Reclaim a time when summer never ends
I watch removed, abstracted mind
Ponders youth, my youth was blind
It was never you - the coward there was me
And as you dream if I should happen by
I'd like to think we'd still say 'hi!'
And laugh as if the years had never been...
---
I read V.O.W by Gabriel Duncan, and then wrote this.
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That's great!
Thank your muse for me - keeping you up was definitely the right thing to do. I've got many friends who are musicans and will love this.
Cheers
Camy
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So I noted.
[-X
Damn. 1st demerit in the book. :oops:
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So sorry, I thought I'd left a comment here earlier :oops:
This is excellent, and the muse food for mine. It made me laugh a lot 'cause I get these day on day on day, and no matter how I train my spam filter still they keep coming!
I especially like the 'kick stand' imagery!
Thanks TR!
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Spam, Chat Rooms 'n' Love.
by Camy.
Spam is the bane of my life I moan
As I sit at my desk and write hard
Crafting long missives selling penis enlargement
To the upper east side of the park
On weekends I find that hanging large weights
Does nothing at all for my length
Though fretting and whining over what is 'real' spam
Makes for great chat room gossip with Sven
I hope that's his name, though I don't know for sure
He lives across oceans so vast
He seems young and cute though his avatar's a newt
Am I dumb? Is he having a laugh?
We spoke at long last - we'll never meet
His Zimmer won't fit on the plane
And the nurse at the home says he lives all alone
And only has half of his brain.
So the spam continues to stuff up the bin
And my heart is broken - damn Sven
More money invested to find me a 'man'
I need a new chat room - again!
No cats were harmed during the production of this 'poem'. It's so hot they're comatose.
19th July 2006
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I had no idea that lymphogranuloma venereum was an STD. In fact if I'm honest I'd never even heard of it.
So thanks to this post I now know, and thanks to the browsing I've just done I also know chlamydia affects men - I'd often wondered, but it's a difficult question to slip into a conversation. Until ten minutes ago I thought it was a 'womans problem' only. :roll:
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Wow!
I love SciFi and Fantasy, writers like Raymond Feist, JRT, Brooks, Heinlein, Pratchett and the most English of writers John Wyndham. So to come across what looks like a fantastic story is ... peachy to say the least.
I'm off to read chapter 1!
Camy
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Awesome work, man. Welcome.Very cool story. I liked it a lot.
Thanks! :D
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OK, so I just read "Robert's Day" and been tantalized by the (temporarily I hope) withdrawn "Albert's Day or Sex on the 6:29" over on GA, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff!I thoroughly enjoyed JJ and The Boys, Camy. I hope you choose to share more of your stories with us.
Nicely done.
Thank you so much :)
It's really great to know that people are enjoying what I write. If that sounds schmaltzy then good - 'cause I'm wearing the biggest grin ever! :D
Cheers
Camy 8)
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A very nice tale. I really got the old English boarding school atmopsphere quickly, but with the modern touches. Mixing the two gave an odd feel to the story, but that's part of its charm.
I, too, rather enjoyed it. That was great as a short story. I could envision some short story spin-offs too.... (hint) :)
However, what is a "Pashes are common..." Pashes?
It's from passion and means to have a crush on someone.
Great! Glad you enjoyed it, and yes there are more on the way.
Camy
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A very nice tale. I really got the old English boarding school atmopsphere quickly, but with the modern touches. Mixing the two gave an odd feel to the story, but that's part of its charm.
Well done!
Graeme :)
Thanks! :D
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Presently I'm using a postcard from my sister, often if a book has a dust jacket I'll use that, and very occasionally if I'm feeling totally lazy I'll fold the corner of the page - I know this damns me to hellfire and perdition for eternity, but hey, you only live once.
Camy
Scan to donate
Onanistically speaking
in Poets' Corner
Posted
Heh ... If you say so!
:D
Thanks all. It's good to write about hobbies. :p