RPnSoCal

A good lesson, Blue ! It should help many of us from crying over posts, like A.J., and winding up in a huge forum of brine ! @AJ - those puns were as sharp and poignant as the vinegar used in making them. Which is the best I can do to come up with another pickle pun, weak as it is.

It might land one in quite a pickle !

@ Ben Dover - My humblest and most sincere apologies for any insult that I mave have caused to any cucumber reading this thread. I should have made sure that I was merely stating my opinion with respect to cucumbers, and certainly not meaning to imply anything about their self-worth or their worth to others. I firmly believe that everyone has the right and freedom to date whomever they please. Just so long as it is between consenting beings. :D

Yeah, I don't even like cucumbers in salad much less for other uhm household chores. Besides, how can yiou tell if the cucumber likes you? My deficient gaydar isn't reliable on sentient creatures! I will defer to your comments re HTML as I have not spent anytime writing/programming in it. :D

Hmm - as far as the title is concerned, I had, have and probably will not have a clue as to what it means. But that made it all the much better of an attractor for me. (Is it possible to have a weird title fetish?) Are the formatting errors possibly the result of the Nifty postiing process? Seems like people have complained about it, but the problem does not occur logically. I thought that might be the reason more stories are appearing in HTML. I don't know the process or people there, so no offense iintended! Theme music - jazz yes - Pink Floyd no - more Dead Can Dance or Lords of Acid I think. @ WBMS - I see your point actuallly, but if I latch onto a character for Heaven knows what reason, I can sometimes get through the jumbles, and the technical problems are getting less. Spelling is usually my biggest peeve. Sometimes I actually like trying to figure out who the speaker changed into second to second. Somtimes. lol One thing that impresses me somewhat is that it is two authors, and the story flows well from that aspect. <now taking shelter for imcoming salvos> Dude - it may be a story that needs to age a bit more, before being tossed into the fray.

I was going to suggest this one tonight. Blue I am very concerned about you, if you are reading my mind. Its quite chaotic and scary in here, and those are the good days. Just be careful ! lol Oh, chocolate works wonders on the growling thing in the corner!! So I'll second the motion on the story, though the one thing I didn't like was the deus ex machina - like effect of having the two be at the same school. I guess they are in same neighborhood, but it was a little too easy. Otherwise, lots of good ideas and potential here. And the slow roll-out using short chapters is torturous ! Which is a good thing for stories!

FYI: A link to Goo-Goo-Muck (which I should have included te first time!) http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/...l/goo-goo-muck/ @Dude - You're welcome. As far as sex/romance goes, I would vote for good storytelling. By that, I mean romance isn't necessarily required as a theme at all (for me). If there is sex in the story, then it better blend well and be an important, if not necessary, element. Though usually, I would far prefer to see it referenced than detailed. (Such as Ryan does in his stories.)

Hi Guys - I have to agree with Blue at this point in the story. From a technical aspect, it is well-written, and although rushed in places, the characters are takiing shape. Though two similarly-named characters is not a good thing, I have decided. It is WAY too confusing, at least in this context. I confess that Dude's comment re cliches did make me think back over the story, and it is weak at times. But cliches exist for a reason - certain "issues" or patterns come up repeatedly in one's life or tend to come up at sometime in everybody's kife. So, their inclusion doesn't bother me much, assuming that the author does not overuse them, and can be creative while doing so. FWIW, I would keep an eye on the story and see how the next few chapters go. Odd/unique/off-the-wall/HUH? styled titles for stories often lead me to new finds. This is one of those stories, as were Tristan's Redemption, What Lies Within, Alone by Myself, uhm <sadly watches several grand examples float off into the night air without identifying themselves.> and others <who will be caught and posted.> I feel that like a parent, an author that takes special care naming his/her "child" usually takes more care in writng as a whole. May I suggest another at which to take a look ? It would be too early to say for sure, but the characters have potential, as do the story elements. I'm enjoying it so far. It is posting on Nifty in High School - "Goo-Goo-Muck" (like I said about titles.) CAVEAT: I'm not sure about how to define the sex content, but it is there, albeit in the form of day-dreaming sequences I guess would be the term. RP