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EleCivil

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Blog Entries posted by EleCivil

  1. EleCivil

    Halloween

    By EleCivil,

    Here's some pictures from Halloween:

    My first attempt at a Jolly Roger pumpkin. Pretty bad, but still, it gets its point across.

    This was supposed to be a werewolf howling at the moon, but it turned out more like a werewolf shooting a basketball. But, hey, remember the movie Teen Wolf, where Michael J. Fox was a basketball-playing werewolf? Yeah, I think it works.

    Usually I dress as a pirate. As in, on days other than Halloween, I dress as a pirate. So, this year, I dressed in all black, tied a shirt around my head, and went as a second-rate ninja, for irony's sake (because of the ancient pirate/ninja fued, of course). I went outside and juggled clubs while handing out candy. After an hour, my hands were numb, and I was dropping them all over the place. I place the blame on some kind of ninja curse.
    And an update on the handlebar moustache thing: it's a bust. I just can't grow decent facial hair. This is what I look like after five days without shaving:
    [image removed]
    At that rate, it'd take me roughly two years to get a decent handlebar going.
    Just got back from feeding my ballot to a Diebold touch-screen machine. Maybe now I'll stop getting calls from Robotic Bill Clinton, Robotic Mike DeWine, and Robotic Mike DeWine's Wife.
    Currently Listening: "I Am Ninja, My Life is Lonely and Difficult" by The Dauntless Elite
  2. EleCivil

    Black Friday (HLS pt. 2)

    By EleCivil,

    Second day on the Holiday Loser Squad. This time, it's me (security), a linehaul trucker (older dude with a bushy grey beard), and a dock worker (thirty-ish guy with lots of tattoos).
    So, I'm walking the parimiter, locking things up and such, and, thanks to listening to that Taj Motel Trio CD so much, I've got a song in my head - their cover of "My Girl" by The Temptations. Without realizing it, I start whistling.
    As I walk past where the others are standing, the linehauler starts singing the bassline - "bum, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, bum...", and starts walking next to me. The dock worker follows.
    He does the bassline a few times, and when I catch on to what he's doing, I join in with "I got sunshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine....on a cloudy daaaaaay. When it's cold outsiiiiiiiiiiiide...IIIIII got the month of Maaaaaay...."
    The dock worker joins in: "I guess you'll say...what could make me feel this way?"
    All three: "My girl!" "My girl!" "My girl!" "Talkin' 'bout myyyyy giiiiirl..." "My girl!"
    So we keep going until the song's over. Yes, we all knew it - when you live this close to Mo-Town, you pretty much have to. So, there we are, three tone-deaf white guys, belting out a Temptations song in an off-key attempt at three-part harmony (with occasional call-backs and improvisation).
    We finish the song, go our separate ways, and never mention it.
    Remember when I said that yesterday was the most fun I'd had at work? I think today just topped it. Once again, thank you, Taj Motel Trio.
    "I've got so much honey,
    The bees envy me.
    I've got a sweeter song, baby,
    Than the birds in the trees."


    -"My Girl" by The Temptations


  3. EleCivil

    TLAP Day

    By EleCivil,

    Talk Like a Pirate Day: Aftermath
    This year's Talk Like a Pirate Day went quite well. First, I flew a black flag from my car and drove around playing pirate songs with my windows down.
    Pirate playlist:
    Flogging Molly - Seven Deadly Sins
    David Rovics - Black Flag Flying
    Lazytown - You Are a Pirate
    Flogging Molly - Salty Dog
    Mutiny - Here's to Adventure
    Pirates of the Carribean Soundtrack - He's a Pirate
    Flogging Molly - Queen Anne's Revenge
    Murder by Death - Dead Men and Sinners
    Rockin' Chair - Wooden Boats, Iron Men
    Tom Smith - Talk Like a Pirate Day (official theme song)
    The Mad Caddies - Weird Beard
    Bread and Roses - Let the Wind and the Sea be my Grave
    After I finished with that, I dressed in full pirate garb (puffy shirt, feathered hat with a skull-and-bones insignia, stuffed parrot on shoulder, eyepatch, etc.) and went to the library, where I checked out Mutiny on the Bounty and Treasure Island. One of the librarians was celebrating, too (I guess you could call her a bookaneer...but it'd probably be best if you didn't), so we took a few pictures together.
    By that time my roommate was awake, so we went to a nearby grocery store and had a swordfight in the parking lot. All nearby buckles were sufficiently swashed. Aftewards, I did some juggling, picking up enough in tips to buy us some water.
    Then, we came back home to watch yesterday's episode of Wife Swap. No, that's not something I'd normally do, but one of the families was a pirate family, the husband being none other than Ol' Chumbucket, co-creator of Talk Like a Pirate Day and co-author of "Pirattitude!". Captain Slappy, the other co-creator, made an appearance as well.
    All in all, it was my best TLAP Day yet.
    "Anarchy! The scourge of every sea! The Antichrist abord a rig, with us, your cut-throat thieves!"


    -"Salty Dog" by Flogging Molly


  4. EleCivil

    Currentlies.

    By EleCivil,

    Haven't updated the blog in a while, so here's what's going on in a convenient list format:
    Currently on: Spring break
    Currently reading: That Thou Art: Teachings of the Upanishads by Ramakrishna (the "secret teachings" of Hinduism); Snow Crash by Stephenson.
    Currently playing: Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney - Justice for All.
    Currently writing: Laika, Chapter 14; Untitled Short Story; Overlight Strays, Chapter 1 (Yes, a new novel...but don't expect to be seeing it any time soon.)
    Currently listening: "Mutiny!" by Set Your Goals; "Plays Pretty for Baby" by The Nation of Ulysses; "Plays Ugly for Suckers" by The Yah Mos Def.
    Currently looking forward to: Student-teaching (next week), the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (going with a friend on opening night).
    Currently NOT looking forward to: Mid-term exams, wearing "professional" clothes for student-teaching (they can take my ratty jeans and untucked shirts, but they'll never take my FREEDOM!...that is to say, my mismatched socks.)
    Currently watching: The promotional search-lights from all the nearby adult stores and strip clubs sweeping across the overcast night sky, reminding us all that we live in a red light district. Seriously, this neighborhood's got so much porno per capita that it's actually reasonable to measure it in terms of per capita.
    Currently typing: While standing on one foot and whistling "We Shall Not be Moved".
    Hi-ho.
  5. EleCivil

    Christmastoberfest

    By EleCivil,

    "Haji was a punk
    Just like any other boy
    And he never had no trouble
    'Til he started up his oi band
    Safe in the garage
    Or singing in the tub
    Till Haji went too far
    And he plugged in at the pub.
    'Twas a cold Christmas Eve
    When Trevor and the skins
    Popped in for a pint
    And to nick a bag of crisps
    Trevor liked the music
    But not the unity
    He unwound Haji's turban
    And he knocked him to his knees.
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
    Haji was a bloody mess
    He ran out thru the crowd
    He said "We'll meet again,
    We are bloody, yet unbowed"
    Trevor called his bluff
    And told him where to meet
    Christmas day on the roof
    Down at 20 Oxford street
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
    On the roof with the nunchucks
    Trevor broke a lot of bones
    But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones
    Police sirens wailing,
    A bloody dying man
    Haji was alone
    And abandoned by his band
    Trevor was there fading
    And still so full of hate
    When the skins left him there
    And went down the fire escape (Oi! Oi!)
    But then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
    So he made a tourniquet from his turban, saving Trevor
    Then repelled down the roof
    With the rest of the turban
    And went back to the pub
    Where they bought each other bourbon
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!" "


    -"Oi to the World" by The Vandals


  7. EleCivil

    Thanksgiving (HLS pt. 1)

    By EleCivil,

    I'm a member of the Holiday Loser Squad - the group that works on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Independence Day, and the rest. That means that on days like this, I get the whole place to myself. Well, usually. Sometimes I have to share it with one or two other HLS members, but that's cool.
    I brought my iPod along and, while walking around, doing my thing, I decided to listen to The Taj Motel Trio's album "Life of the Party". For those unfamiliar, they're a third-wave ska/punk band, and that's the single most dancable album I've ever heard. So, since no one was there, I saw no reason to abstain from an early-morning one-man skankfest. Yes, while in full uniform, complete with a tie, matching socks (ugh), and a long snow-patrol coat.
    As a result, it was easilly the best day I've had at work all year. Thank you, Taj Motel Trio.
    Also, I was able to smuggle in my laptop and finish a chapter of Laika. I sent it in just now.
  8. EleCivil

    Freedom and Macaroni

    By EleCivil,

    As of last night, I am done with this semester. I've written roughly 70 pages of cited, academic papers over the course of the last week, and my brain is fried.
    I was in the student union, working on a five-hour study session for a final exam - four textbooks spread out across the table along with seven different bundles of stapled paper, me in the middle, flipping madly between them, pausing only to write something down. I finally finish up, close the books, and lean back, taking a deep breath. This guy from my philosophy class who I've only talked to once or twice happened to be sitting nearby. He looks over at me and says "...Ping-pong break?" I say "Hell yes", and we proceed to the ping-pong table.
    Now, neither of us is a pro at table tennis, but we've both got advantages - I'm a juggler, so I'm really good at judging where an object is going to land based on the top two inches or so of its arc, and he's roughly seven feet tall, so he can reach anything without taking a step. 'Twas an epic match, indeed - since we were both at the same skill level, we were able to keep going for long periods of time from each serve. Other people put down their books to watch. He stood there, never having to move his feet, hitting everything that I sent at him, while I kept moving, jumping to exactly the right spot to hit it back. In the end, I won, but just barely. And then I went on to take an exam in Modern World Lit, which wasn't nearly as competitive (it pretty much just sat there and let me write all over it).
    Also, as I was typing this, Jest (the roommate) walked by and handed me a macaroni necklace, saying "I made this for you today." That's a lie, because I was with him all day and there were no strings or noodles anywhere near us, but I put it on anyway. So now I'm free from school and rockin' the noodles.
    Currently Listening: "As Free As The Rent We Don't Pay" by Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains

  9. EleCivil

    Shazzam.

    By EleCivil,

    First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who replied, IM'd, or emailed me after my last post. I really appreciate it.
    Don't worry about me. I'd been spending the last year or so in denial about it, but I've known it was coming. It was just that Saturday was the day that my Dad actually asked me if I would quit school and go to work, and that made things kind of boil over. BUT, when I boil over, it's usually only for a day or two, then I get distracted by something else and bounce back, being the bouncing soul that I am.
    So, back to normal (or as close as I ever get to it). Hi-ho.
  10. EleCivil
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1jSgODkRTsg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    School's back in session!
    This will be my first year as an administrator. Who's the boss? I'm the boss! Hahahaha! I'm going to make all the teachers wear mismatched socks and learn to juggle! I'm gonna kick down classroom doors and attack classes with Silly String! My reign of zany, zany terror begins now!
    ...Okay, not really. But I did just spend the past couple weeks training the new teachers and helping them set up their rooms.
    I'm so excited to see my students again!
    ...I suppose I could go back to school Rodney Dangerfield style, but unfortunately, I still don't think I'll be able to meet Vonnegut.
    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tQnAhSzb4gY?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    ...So it goes.
  11. EleCivil
    Lives in Periphery



    A new serial novel by EleCivil







    ---







    Manufacturing plants opened up on the outskirts – little metal pockmarks against the amber waves of grain. They didn’t last. Now, there were abandoned factories and junk heaps just sitting around. Chunks of broken machines rusted into the gravel lots in front of condemned buildings. He had always been drawn to them; the abandoned machines and the ruins of a failed empire. This one was fairly close to school, and it had become his afternoon hideout. No one else knew this – they’d probably think he was weird – but the way he saw it, some people are called to the trees, some people are called to the water, and he was called to the rust. Given his childhood on the outskirts, rust seemed as natural and comforting as a cool breeze.



    ---







    “Consider it reparations for your history of repeated malfeasance. I know from your records that you’re smart enough. That’s why I’m using words like ‘malfeasance’. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that. I usually have to say things like ‘Hey, jerk - stop punching.’ This is refreshing.”







    ---







    He wasn't going to fall for this. This kind of tactic may work on middle schoolers, or hotheads, or the weak-nerved, but he was made of stronger stuff than that. This was such a transparent trick to make him implicate himself. Say nothing, and let the criminal go mad with guilt until he's ready to throw himself to the floor, pull up the boards and it's the beating of his hideous heart! But that wouldn't work on him. He wasn't a criminal.







    ---







    "Hell, if you’re going to play outlaw, you might as well go all out."







    ---







    Beginning Fall 2013


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