Mobile Deletion

[Jason Rimbaud]

Mobile Deletion

By: Jason R.

I wrote all the lines in my heart

There are chunks of my life dedicated to your memory

Often I?d sit alone in the dark

Analyzing my mistakes until I?m dead inside

And yet, when Susan said it was time to let go

I listened and wrote about ?Devising my own Demise?

I embraced the fact that I was ?Nothing Like Human?

I fantasized about ?Sliding the Pain?

Had imaginary ?Conversations from the Edge of Heaven?

Realized that I was a ?Pissed Off Mother Fucker?

And mused about when ?I Was Twelve?

And yet, you are still there

I look at you every day and wonder why I just can?t do it

It would be easy, I know

Just hit delete and then you?d be gone forever

But I can?t

I?ve tried

So I continue to write

I have grandiose fights, ?Duel of Love? with you

I admit to the world, ?That?s Me Trying?

I write about ?Living (then to now)?

In a moment of weakness, I write ?Something I Can?t Have?

And I allow all to see the ?Pain Inside of Me?

And I accept my ?Spiritual Crisis?

While ?Severing Ties? with so called friends

And there you are, still

Your name above the number I know by heart

I shouldn?t even hesitate to delete you

Because I could always conjure up your number

So why do I allow you this precious place?

If I did it, just hit delete

Then it would be an admission of moving on

But I think that would be too difficult

To ?grown? up

To ?adjusted? for my lifestyle

So I sit here

Looking at you every morning

Waiting for the time I can hit delete

Hoping for the day I can purge my life

Purge my mobile phone of your number