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Jason Rimbaud

We Should Think before we Speak

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We all say harmless things each day of our life, but sometimes, the harmless things we say can cause us embarrassment in the most

public of places. I'll elaborate.

First Example:

I walked into a hair salon with my roommate, Daniel, and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

Immediately I realized just what I said, I turned around, walked back out the door and have never went back. Daniel didn't say a

word...he knew better.

Second Example:

My friend, Karen, took me to a golf store to compare different kinds of golf balls. She was unhappy with the women's type she had

been using. She had been browsing for several minutes so I took the time to chat up this hot guy who was changing the price of the

items in the discount bin. We were flirting and doing some chit and chat when Karen walked over with a confused look on her face.

The hot guy asked if she needed any help. Without thinking, she answered, "I think I like playing with men's balls.

Third Example:

Karen and I were at the mall a few days later, and we passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. She drug me inside

and while we were bending down deciding on what to purchase, the young boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I

replied, "No thanks, I'm just looking at your nuts." Karen started laughing hysterically, the boy chuckled, while I turned all sorts of red.

Forth Example:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my roommates nephew, decided to release some pent-up energy (probably from the tons of

sugar I had been sneaking to him all afternoon) and run all over the place. Daniel finally grabbed hold of the little terror, but not

before we received several looks of disgust from the other customers. Daniel told his nephew that if he didn't start behaving right now

, then he would be punished. To my amusement, the little boy looked right in Daniel's eyes and said in a voice just as threatening,

"If you don't let me go right now, I'll tell my mommiy that I saw you kissing JUncle Jason's pee-pee this morning." The silence in the room

was deafening after this enlightened exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing and stared at the three of us. Daniel

mustered up what little dignity he had left and walked out of the bank with his nephew in tow. The last thing I heard as the door shut

behind us was the entire bank bursting out in laughter.

Fifth Example:

Daniel's nephew had a lot of problems with toilet training and his parents were on himconstantly. One day, we stopped at Taco Bell

for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, and after the boy caused major problems while waiting in line, we finally

sat down to eat our taco's. Daniel smelled something funny, and after realizing the boy had not gone to the toilet in some time,

he asked the boy if he had to go to the bathroom. The boy answered, no, and continued eating. Daniel was worried, as he had

no extra clothing if the boy did have an accident. So he asked again, "Are you sure you didn't have an accident?" Again, the

boy replied, "No." The smell was getting worse, so Daniel asked again, "Are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" This time

the boy jumped up, yanked down his pants, bend over and spread his cheeks, and yelled at the top of his lungs, "See Uncle

Daniel, it's just farts." While thirty people nearly choked to death on their taco's from laughing, the boy calmly pulled up

his pants and resumed eating.

Final Example:

This had most of the state of Pennsylvania laughiing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,

in the future, think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? We had a female news

anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turn to the weather man and asked, "So Bob, where's

that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were

laughing so hard.

Maybe we could all learn to think before we speak. Hope this makes you smile as it did me.

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