Shocked

[Smaccoms]

Your stare has me mesmerized, its intensity a shock.

Everyone else seems banished if only for moment.

Now you?re gone, my mind still with you, as if on a lock.

That one moment brought back much, relieving a block.

Now it?s over, and I?ve seen nothing beyond that instant.

Your stare has me mesmerized, it?s intensity a shock.

I thought it meant something, or maybe it was to mock.

I feel as though you?ve used me as a lowly toy, a servant.

Now you?re gone, my mind still with you, as if on a lock.

I want my unreal fantasy, leaving me staring at the clock.

It?s haunting to see you pass me by, when you?re ignorant.

Your stare has me mesmerized, it?s intensity a shock.

I must be forever quiet, or to myself abuse will flock.

Of course it won?t leave my head; you made it too important.

Now you?re gone, my mind still with you, as if on a lock.

I can?t accept it, meaning I face eternal time, going tick tock.

This isn?t fair; you?ve got me perplexed on one hollow little event.

Your stare has me mesmerized, it?s intensity a shock.

Now you?re gone, my mind still with you, as if on a lock

[colinian]

I don't see Villanelles very often, so it was fun reading Shocked. It has depth and meaning, the shock over a loss of someone who can't be forgotten despite everything repugnant and spiteful that they did.

Colin

[Smaccoms]

So I had to re-read the poem with that interpretation in mind which is different from what I had in mind when I actually wrote it (which is totally cool, I like different interpretations). I can totally see how it could be talking about a relationship. The guy I was writing about--we were never anything more than acquaintances. I was frustrated cause I could have sworn we both wanted something more, but I never got a chance to find out. He was a big famous football player (surprise). He seemed so much more than that though, he was in one of my classes, and really a great guy (from what I could tell anyway). It was really refreshing to came at the poem from a different angle after reading your take on it, thanks.

[Merkin]

The interesting aspect of the villanelle form is that it provides support for the kind of thought pattern shown here, where the frustration and sense of rejection/opportunity lost keeps running around and around in the head until it seems you will never be able to move beyond it.

Well done.

James Merkin