Swimming With Parker

[JamesSavik]

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-frien...ing-with-parker

This story seems to be a cut above the rest. See what you think.

[The Pecman]

Just finished the whole thing (which is sort of a novella, not quite a full-length novel). I agree, a cut above the norm. Some genuinely good dialog here and there, and I empathized with the characters. The author is definitely somebody to keep an eye on.

Highly recommended! I would certainly nominate this one as a Best of Nifty candidate.

[Guest Dabeagle]

I read and enjoyed, sent the author a note. I had some quibbles with it but basically came away happy for having read it.

[The Pecman]

Yeah, my only real issue was the whole story happened in a week! That's kinda quick for something this intense. But you know, it was so well-done, I'll give it to the author for at least holding my attention.

I also think the deal with the "Internet ending" was a little far-fetched, because it hinged on lots of people who just happened to be watching at that moment (live). I'm not sure this is that big a story any more, if a popular high school kid chooses to come out (or not). But I concede that the author was looking for a big dramatic ending, and it was a natural way to go.

[Guest Dabeagle]

I agree the ending was a touch far fetched, I think the only thing that made it and a few other scenes work is the mercurial nature of teenagers. While there were certainly not enough people watching right away, he did note that the final part actually represented two weeks.

In my feedback I told the author there was room for a lot more valid text and dialogue and gave an example. Also the main characters manner of speech was a touch hard to accept as real. While he did note in a alter chapter that it came from his constant reading and limited social interaction with peers, it still felt like a version of an old literary queen.

Still, the photographic scenes were done well enough to put you there, holding your breath as well. I liked it, just had some constructive criticism overall.