TalonRider Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 Posted 21 December 2005 - 08:20 PM Holiday PartyFROM; Pat Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTO EveryoneRE Christmas PartyDATE December 1I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place onDecember 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue.No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditionalcarols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows updressed as Santa Claus!_____________________________________________________________________FROM; Pat Lewis, Human Resources DirectorDATE December 2RE Christmas PartyIn no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. Werecognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides withChristmas, though unfortunately not this year.However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party".___________________________________________________________________FROM; Pat Lewis, Human Resources DirectorDATE December 7RE Holiday PartyWhat a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslimholy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylighthours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon thistime of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. PerhapsLuigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party...the daysare so short this time of year...or else package everything for take-home inlittle foil swans.___________________________________________________________________FROM; Pat Lewis, Human Resources DirectorDATE December 8RE Holiday PartySo December 22 marks the Winter Solstice... Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibitthe burning of sage by our earth-based, Goddess-worshipping employees, butwe'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band'sbreaks.____________________________________________________________________FROM; Pat Lewis, Human Resources DirectorDate December 9RE Holiday PartyPeople, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up likeSanta Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan", there isno evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit". It's a tradition,folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgivingturkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?____________________________________________________________________FROM; Pat Lewis, Human Resources DirectorDATE December 10RE Holiday PartyVegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this partyat Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietlyat the table farthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, andyou'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes...but you know,tomatoes have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them...I've heardthem scream, I'm hearing them scream right now...!____________________________________________________________________FROM Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources DirectorDATE December 14RE Pat Lewis and Holiday PartyI'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from herstress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at thesanatarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel the Holidayparty and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.Happy Chanue-Kwanzaa-Solsti-Rama-Mas! Link to comment
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