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Sleeping through the Crisis

DesDownunder

Entry posted by DesDownunder

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I don't understand all this fuss about a financial crisis. I've been in a financial crisis for over ten years. Every time we use up the limit on the credit we just get the bank to extend the limit. Sexual deficiency is the only real crisis worth worrying about. So far I reckon we have another 12 months before we run out of money again, but wait, I will soon have the pension money coming in and that will have to help.

So I reckon the banks should extend everyone's credit limit and then we wouldn't have a crisis.

The girl at our bank thinks the balance on our account is what we have deposited in the bank. She doesn't realise it is what we owe. She smiles at me and says we are doing quite well. (She's not talking about my sex life.) I think she should be put in charge of the International Monetary Fund.

My health is better lately, but I still have a sleeping problem -he snores.

So I have to sit up until 5 or 6am when I become tired enough to sleep through the sound of the gale force wind coming from my beloved's nostrils. I'm always surprised that he can grow hair up in those things. His nose hair sways like the palm trees in a tornado.

Have you ever watched anyone sleep? Fascinating. Definitely an R rated activity after 30. Before 30 of course, it is an X rated biological process. After 40 it becomes more wishful thinking than an activity. And once you get to 50, you can't wait to sleep so you can dream about what it was like when you were under 20. At 60...what was the question again?

Oh, yes the financial crisis. I wonder if the bank will give me enough credit for the Chinese aphrodisiac herb that lets me think I am 20 while I am awake? It's a great herb. I just wish it affected more than my brain. If you take too much of it it makes you feel like a real dickhead.

Of course when it comes to one's sexual apparatus, it is true that you must keep using it or you will lose it, what they don't tell you is that after 60 when you use it, you pass out on the bed afterwards. Oh well at least I look like I am sleeping. :icon11:

Wake me up when the crisis is over.

6 Comments

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Camy

Oh gawd, Des, you make me laugh! Your blog should be compulsory ... along with multi-vitamins and a mug of hot goodness before bed.CamyPS please send a bag of whatever this Chinese herb is that you wax lyrical about. Me needy bad.

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DesDownunder

You're very kind Camy, thanks for the comments.I tried to fill my bf's mug full of hot goodness, but so far I haven't even got it half full, and not because he keeps swallowing.The herb that I have found is much safer than Viagra and should be available from the Chinese supermarket or a Chinese Herb shop. It is called Deer Velvet powder or Lu Rong. I like the powder or capsule better than the pills.I find one capsule or 500gms of the powder everyday keeps my apparatus working very nicely, thank you. But it isn't cheap so shop around for a good price. It is cheaper than Viagra without the side effects. For further details on Lu Rong see: http://tcm.health-info.org/Herbology.Mater...-properties.htmAs with all herbal treatments please make sure it is suitable for you before trying it. Check with a health professional if in doubt. :smile:

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Jason Rimbaud

I love reading your Blog Des, you always seem to be able to make me laugh even on the bad days. As for things working properly, kudos. I'm 34 and sometimes I think my sex drive got up and drove away leaving me stressed and working all the time.Jason

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DesDownunder

Thanks Jason, I'm glad someone laughs at my bloggings. One of the biggest killers of the sex drive is definitely, stress.Strangely enough the answer to stress is sexual exercise, but you have to make sure you aren't too stressed out before you do the exercises. For example if you have a really uptight customer who is giving you a hard time...(not that kind of hard)...it is considered bad form to whip Mr. Happy out and exercise all over the customer's purchases.No, you have to wait until they have left and can devote yourself to the matters in hand without considering anything else. Don't rush it, enjoy it.It is always wise to recognise when the body does not need to exercise, when the mind wants it but the body hasn't quite got a full tank of gas. Letting the brain drive the car without gas won't get you far. But it is also important to realise when the car needs to be serviced. You should never go more than 3 days without a good lube (in my opinion.)Abstinence is a sin for us hedonist hippies, but saving enough fuel for special moments is also a way to increase the pleasure of the love of driving and driving the loving.I guess I am taking about those exercises, known as auto-sexual, which of course should never being indulged in while actually driving the car...When I get stressed out and everything seems to have got out of hand, then I always balance my life on the end of my dick. It gets things back in hand if you understand my meaning. :smile:

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