Tanuki Racoon
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Posts posted by Tanuki Racoon
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For $50, I'll let you...er, I probably shouldn't say that on this board, huh? After all, I'm supposed to be upholding the dignity around here...
Hey, we don't need no steenking dignity.
:*
-- wbms
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There are even major differences between south and north Georgia. Once you go south of Interstate 70 you start to pick up a slight twang and it gets stronger the farther south you go (South Florida doesn't count).
I think that people from Kentucky have the best accent....very smooth.
And don't forget the Tennessee accents. Even more unusual. Plus you get the very odd word cain't.
I cain't do this <-- it means can't but it is a contraction of "can" and "ain't" which translated literally as "can am not" which makes no technical sense.
-- wbms
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in it's entirety
For $50 I'll edit your message board posts :)
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I just wanna know....are there differences in accent between the sutherners themselves? Like, between Texan and Georgian.
Hell yeah. WAY different.
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No one, and I mean NO ONE is doing any better writing out there than this woman. There are people doing brilliant things in other genres, and doing them every bit as well, but this woman is flat out genius level.
I dislike her stuff. But that's just me. Not arguing your persona l preference, but your statement. Obviously I think lots of people are doing better work.
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You need to add "All y'all"
Translated into Yankee, that is
"All of you all" and, as you say, individually but as part of a collective group.
To a TRUE southerner, this is proper grammar.
-- wbms
(My grammer, however, doesn't talk like that :
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One thing I've noticed with the grammer check I use, it offers explanations of the rule and gives some examples.
Piss on grammar checkers and spell checkers.
If you want to be a better writer, write without them. I don't use either. If I have a specific question on a particular word or clause, I will use the computer as a last resort.
And, more importantly, the grammar checker in MS Word makes LOTS of errors. Relying on it is foolhardy :)
-- wbms
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RHF?
It's losely based on The Lumberjack Song by Monty Python but it is original.
funny@netfunny.com is the moderator for Rec.Humor.Funny the best of usenet humor. It's moderated by Brad Templeton.
VERY few posts are selected. Most people don't get in. Your post WILL make it.
In 12 years, I've had THREE posts selected but under my real name :)
-- wbms
[/i]
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The Drunken Idiot Song
my appologies to Monty Python
This is fucking BEAUTIFUL.
Might I suggest you submit it to RHF if this is an original work?
I'm impressed........
-- wbms
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Editors, like writers, use a number of resources to help them with their tasks. I'm starting this thread to allow useful links to be shared.
Being selfish, I'm starting with one that's dear to my heart, the differences between American and British (and Australian) English:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_...ish_differences
Graeme
(1) Try using TINYURL.COM which turns that unweildy mess into: http://tinyurl.com/4ezjg
(2) Wikipedia is really cool but there are often very serious errors. And on a topic like this it doesn't matter but be careful using it for scholarly work and other things without double checking your facts. I use it too, but that's a friendly word of warning :)
(3) It's a subject that is obviously near and dear to my heart as well. I am an American an I speak American English. American English is a bastardization of the Queen's English (or British English). As Twain (I believe once said): we are two very similar countries seperated by a common language. It's not just the spelling (color v colour /or/ encyclopedia v encyclopaedia) but the punctuation (inside or out of the quote marks) and even the diction (in the hospital v in hospital). I could go on for HOURS. Which is probably why many of my readers think I'm English. Until they hear my accent.
-- wbms
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...and the xerox of Arnold's butt...
The copier repair guy asked why there were ass-hairs stuck in all the gears.
-- wbms
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I think the story should be sent out with, say, a one week time limit.
Then the results should be POSTED for all of us. Then we can see our different takes on the same piece.
Then, our esteemed victim (I mean AUTHOR), can do it again, and reply with whatever comments are appropriate, fixing technicalities, and we can then all try re-editing the adjusted one.
The best part is the editors can fight each other over who's right for which correction.
A sample if you will: Die asshole! That is plural subjective tense if I ever heard it. Eat lead, scumbag! Your participle is dangling again. Etc.
-- wbms, ever subtle as always.
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Wow, thanks Aussie! that would do just fine. Let me talk to Dude about space requirements and where he wants to post the whole thing, and I'll get back to you on how we'd like to do it.
I will gladly shred a three page story to bits. Actually, I'll do to it what I do to all my authors. It would be educational. And maybe my proofers would see what I'm looking for.
I rather like this idea.
Brutality as sport :)
(I'm kidding on the last comment. Really.)
-- wbms
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Congratlations AJ from a newbie. For those of you who don't know me, I'm The "Lord and Master" of The Talon House.
I'm the lord and bastard of my house. Does that count?
Congrats to Aj on being Our Lord And Forum Saviour. Rumour is rampant that he got the job because he's got dirrrrrrrrrrrttttyyyy pictures of someone here doing a three-way with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Jackson.
-- wbms
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I finally read this. A very good read. Very British. A period piece, and I normally dislike that, but this is good. If you haven't read it, I give it my official stamp of approval*. :)
* Stamp of approval has no cash value and probably won't get your mail delivered if affixed to an envelope.
I just read the sequel "Games At Deauville" and it was just as good!
-- wbms
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As for watching TV, I don't usually watch it. Rots the mind with mostly useless dribble.
Kudos for your views on Television. I am so happy someone actually realizes that, I won't mention you meant "drivel" and not "dribble" :D
-- wbms
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The Star Wars Episodes I and II were both pretty bad, although I don't think that Episode III would be as good as I think it is without them.
Dear Mr. Rocks For Brains:*
Excuse me, BUT Mr. Jar-Jar Binks made an appearance in Episode 3, thereby making SURE it will never be above average. If Jar-Jar had a cameo in Citizen Kane, they'd recall the Oscar it won. Surely, your apology and retraction are forthcoming.
-- wbms, who like Jar-Jar almost as much as root canal.
* I'm kidding, really.
Just because that obnoxious playtoy of Lucas' showed up in Episode III doesn't mean the movie is devalued. Sure, Jar-Jar is annoying. Yes, I experience pain when I hear his voice , but his appearance in Ep 3 was expected and it didn't do any real damage, now did it?? No apology, no retraction. So there! ha ha ha!
Hmph.
-- wbms
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The Star Wars Episodes I and II were both pretty bad, although I don't think that Episode III would be as good as I think it is without them.
Dear Mr. Rocks For Brains:*
Excuse me, BUT Mr. Jar-Jar Binks made an appearance in Episode 3, thereby making SURE it will never be above average. If Jar-Jar had a cameo in Citizen Kane, they'd recall the Oscar it won.
Surely, your apology and retraction are forthcoming.
-- wbms, who like Jar-Jar almost as much as root canal.
* I'm kidding, really.
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I happen to like two movies Jim Carey was in: Liar, Liar and whichever Batman movie he played the riddler. So, I can't say that everything he's done is bad.
Maybe. However "Me, Myself, and Irene" was absolute tripe. Fetid tripe, to be exact. Excrementally challanged. And, mind you, I don't dislike Mr. Carrey. However, that piece of celluloid needs to be burned lest it infect some other poor person.
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Thank goodness for Editors!
That ROCKS, dude :)
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1. Pet Peeves. This is a fun one. What makes you slam the 'back' key on your keyboard as fast as you can? What ruins a story in the space of a phrase? Basically, what do you really hate to see in writing? Is it terrible grammar? Cliches? Cheesy names?
Bad grammar ruins a story for me. No matter how good the writing is, I wonder "is this person stupid or just lazy?" I am not referring to disputed comas, punctuation, etcetera. I mean grammar that is an affront to the English language. I make allowances for younger authors who may not know better, or typos. I'm talking true affronts:
1. Your going home.
2. He took it's temperature.
3. Their too old to work.
Anyone who doesn't IMMEDIATELY cringe at those, needs to have their computer taken away. :)
Another peeve is stories where two characters meet and are having sex within a half-page. It doesn't work that way. A story has to BUILD, damn it.
I also tend to avoid stories with drug use (not my scene). Stories with racial/religious epithets don't get read either. How people in the gay community can use terms like that is beyond me: Of all people, the gay community should KNOW better.
All that being said, even a story that peeves me can still hold my attention if it's good enough. No story with horrendous grammar has ever held my attention, though I've been amazingly forgiving on some :)
Are you sorry you asked?
I will be frank* and tell you I've been very gentle in this post. As an exercises, I read all stories in a few NIFTY categories. Precious few make it past the first three paragraphs, even fewer do I ever return to read a second chapter. If I ever do get to the second (or third) chapter, I write the author. I recently read one story so bad, I was sorely tempted to write the author and ask him to never write again. My standards are unreasonable high, and I accept that. But that's me.
-- wbms
* Hello, Frank. I'm WMBS. How are you?
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Alright, seriously, an editor needs to have an awareness of an author's style or styles and how to maintain that when editing, particularly if the editor needs to suggest how something should be changed.
Almost. The editor shouldn't rewrite anything. That is the sole providence of the author. I edit in red, marking merrily away -- often brutally. Good authors like that. I like when my editor says "What the fuck were you thinking?" or something smarmy. It means he/she is paying attention. It doesn't mean I won't argue back. The author gets final say on everything except technical issues (if you need a colon, then you need a colon) in which case a textbook is the final arbiter.
An editor needs to know how to make suggestions and how to comment on what he reads, what's striking and what's confusing or poorly structured. Then the editor needs to be prepared for the author to be really happy or inspired -- or really discouraged or sometimes angry or stubborn.This is SO true. But the author and editor need not take it personally. The goal of the editor is to make a good author much better. A bad author cannot be turned into a good author by any amount of editing. Bad editing, however, can make an excellent author into a horrific one. The editor must never be afraid to hurt his/her author's feelings. That isn't license to be an asshole. But if something sucks, say so. The few authors I edit, will tell you I'm generally gentle but sometimes I get put out and am completely not bashful about it. And, I abhor laziness in an author.
The editor needs to be friendly enough and so does the author.Horseshit. Both need to professional. Friendly is nice for an editor but sometimes it just doesn't cut it. The author ought to be nice as the editor is doing him/her a favour.
An editor should be good with English grammar and spelling, and good at proofing for mistakes. Those are important too, but not as much as the story content.Au contraire, Monsieur. An editor MUST be good with grammar, spelling, syntax, and diction. Otherwise, he/she is not an editor, but just a person reading the story and trying to help. And, yes, the story content is important but that is a stylistic difference. What works for one person will not work for another. I like long, detailed descriptions. Maybe another editor will say "that's too flowery."
An editor cleans up mistakes, tightens things up like a tailor, and makes comments like a beta reader, only more far-reaching. Then the editor hands it back to the author for approval. It repeats until both are satisfied.Exactly.
I miss my she-bitch editor. She was really, really, really, excellent. She was brutal, argumentative, dictatorial, stubborn, but she also made me a MUCH better writer. She was even a nice person except when she was editing. Comments like "I am disappointed in you. This is shoddy writing and you can do better. Re-do it and send it back." were harsh but got me motivated.
I have yet to find anyone nearly as good as she was. She was an avid reader, a good writer, and an awesome editor. Everyone since, I measure up to her. (I am not trying to offend my current editors, but they just try too hard not to hurt my feelings and aren't nearly picky enough despite my pleas otherwise. The fact is when my readers e-mail me with an error they've found, my editor has failed.)
-- wbms
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The ending is majorly BAD. You feel like you've been cheated! Of your money and intelligence. Grrrrrr....
Anyone has a comment?
I rarely ask for my money back, but I have. The trick is you don't get it unless you really do walk-out. If you watch the whole thing, it's much harder.
Mostly, I just realize it sucked and to try and pick better next time.
-- wbms
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I finally read this. A very good read. Very British. A period piece, and I normally dislike that, but this is good. If you haven't read it, I give it my official stamp of approval*. :)
-- wbms
* Stamp of approval has no cash value and probably won't get your mail delivered if affixed to an envelope.
:)Scan to donate
Editing demo/process/trial... whatever you want to call it
in Editor's Desk
Posted
We all want to see his "versatility" but I've never seen him without pants :/
-- wbms