Cole Parker
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Posts posted by Cole Parker
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One can't help but wonder why the parents have allowed it to go on so long.
Saying, "We refuse to move to another school district," makes a point, but at the expense of the child.
Why not report this to the police themselves? They don't have to wait for the school to do it.
Why not sue the school the very first time they don't act? Or the second? Or the third?
Same question about the parents of the kids who are beating the boy. Sue for medical expenses and costs, at least, and think about punitive damages.
I don't see how any responsible parent can let their child be repeatedly hammered and not take steps that result in it getting absolutely, permanently stopped.
And if this results in another school shooting in Fayetteville, is everyone going to be shocked?
I'm sad too, but even more angry.
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I wouldn't dispute that smarter bit at all. I've know it for a 'coon's age.
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Colinian, feeling a bit frisky, perhaps, being a precocious college student and all and so besotted by his academic and intellectual environment, presented me with a challenge. It was to form a statement of 26 words, each starting with a consecutive letter of the alphabet starting with 'A'. He then proceded to show me how easy it was.
I worked a bit a came up with a couple of my own.
If anyone else enjoys this sort of wordplay, you might like to contribute your efforts for us to marvel at.
Here are two of my own. You can see, I'm not a bit reluctant to display my lack of meaningful abilities in this arena:
Alan became coldhearted, disgustedly employing foxy girls, harrumphing, "I'm just keeping luckless men needlessly off payrolls." Questioning radically stressed the useless, voluptuous womanly xenophobic yak zookeepers.
and then:
Asking becomes critical, demanding essential facts, gathering helpful information. Juveniles--kids--like mathematics. Notwithstanding, obstreperous professors query reluctant students, turning up vacuously woeful x-axis, y-axis zealots.
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Great stuff. Much of it applies to both dogs and cats. Perhaps even rabbits.
I love the "move" part. One of my dogs is expert at standing in front of the TV set, especially during "must see" moments, and the word, "MOVE", said at high volume and emotion, invariably casues him to turn and look at me without unblocking the view in any way. Only when the scene in question has dissovled to commercial does he deign to actaully move. He doesn't like commercials either.
Which makes me think, having the superpower to turn someone esle invisible might be handy.
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I don't think that is quite what I said.
Well, no, it wasn't. Not quite.
And in the final analysis, I wasn't able to summon the hubris necesary to bring it off. I folded under the pressure and got Trab's permission before posting the thing.
I liked the sentiment that if we were motivated by someone's writing, we should be free to develop our idea, but innately still felt awkward with the fact, and the limits posed by fair play.
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As for Tim: I like the fact that the story goes in unexpected directions, and that the characters surprised me several times. It's definitely well-done and entertaining, and I'd recommend it without any hesitation.
Wow!
Uh, let me say that again.
Wow!
Uh, thanks. Truly.
C
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Rules for Cats to Live By
BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to
do anything. Just sit and stare.
DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on
hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not
necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened,
stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly
important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage
in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.
When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as
long as a humans bare foot.
HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity
and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping,"
otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook.
You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being
stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book,
unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to
obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but
every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards,
keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on.
When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity
proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of
your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils,
and erasers off the table, one at a time.
5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to
jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.
6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across
keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap
across arms, hampering typing in progress.
WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the
human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms,
in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help
their coordination skills.
BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box
as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you.
Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This
will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have
run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you
with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around,
and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.
And don't forget guests.
Recently, Des told us all we were able to usurp, hijack, pilfer and conjoin any other writer's work and label it as creative stimulus, thus absolving ourselve of all liability.
I've decided to practice this invidious behavior on this wonderful, comical and entirely enchanting piece of Trab's.
With the greatest, and fondest, apologies to my buddy Bart:
Rules for Cats, among the Evilest and Most Sinister of Creatures, to Live By
BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to
do anything. Just sit and stare. When you see someone on the toilet
straining, jump into their laps.
DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on
hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not
necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened,
stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly
important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Bide
your time. When your human comes to close the door, step into the doorway
and look up at him and meow plaintively. When he reaches down to pick you
up, step outside. When he closes the door, scratch on it immediately. Especially
if the frame was recently painted.
CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage
in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.
When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as
long as a humans bare foot. Try not to throw up until you've eaten
something especially foul and have not entirely digested it yet. Small birds and
repuslive lizards work well for this.
HAMPERING:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity
and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping,"
otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook.
You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being
stepped on and then picked up and comforted. Try to be tripped over
rather than stepped on as the former hurts the human, the latter, you. If
the human cracks his head against the edge of the kitchen table on his way
down, your work is done for the day, and you should sit next to your human
licking yourself while 911 is being dialed and sirens can be heard.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book,
unless you can lie across the book itself. When lying across the book, allow
one leg to droop over in the the lap of the human. Occasionally practice unsheathing
a claw and sticking in into the inside of an uppper thigh, and then purr.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to
obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but
every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. When the human is
about finished and signing a document, wait until he's just about done, then
playfully bite his fingers, making his signature unreadable and unacceptable.
Most points are achieved if he has to do the document over again.
4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards,
keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on.
When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity
proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of
your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils,
and erasers off the table, one at a time. Hiss if reprimanded.
5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to
jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump. You will be picked up
and set on the floor. Climb to the back of his chair, shreading the upholstry
if possible. When his attention is entirely on the paper, leap directly into in.
Extra points are scored if you can tear a cat-sized hole in the middle of the
paper.
6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across
keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap
across arms, hampering typing in progress. If he wriggles a bit, trying to
reposition you to make typing possible, sink your claws into whatever flesh
is closest, hang on, and don't allow the screams and rude language distract you.
WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the
human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms,
in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help
their coordination skills. Stopping quickly in front of them for no reason
is very effective and commendable.
BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around. At odd and
unpredicable times during the night, screaching loudly and then pretending to be
asleep is great fun.
LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box
as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes. Keep
the smelly stuff above the litter and uncovered.
HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you.
Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This
will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have
run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you
with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat. If your human is
especially panicky, stay lost for more than a day. Eat well the day before
you do this.
ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around,
and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.
And don't forget guests. Pay close attention to those that announce they
are allergic.
You may have problem remembering all this. If you do, don't fret. All you have
to do is invite a neighborhood Siamese over for the day and pay close attention
to how he behaves. Siamese know all this stuff instinctively, and can probably
help you with secret stuff humans haven't even thought of yet.
Good catting.
C
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my choice is perfection
There are problems with perfection. It would be boring. But that's not all.
We all know, writers that we are, that a story, to be interesting at all, needs conflict and then crisis. Where's the conflict or the crisis with perfection? There is none. So you'd have no drama, and your life would be way too prosaic.
But worse, you'd be all alone, because no one wants to have to live with the perfect person. It would be beyone their ability to cope, because they'd be human, and you'd be perfect. They'd be aware of their deficiencies, and that you had none. They could never rise to your level, and the pressure to do so would never end. It would be unbearable.
I think maybe you should wish perfection on your enemies. Let them try to live with it.
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Don't you love it when someone stands up on a righteous soapbox and claims their Christianity for all to hear, then goes on to drip hatred, to spew bile and censure? In the name of Christianity?
I thought the underlying principles, the foundation, of Christianity were that the good Christian was to love thy neighbor, and to love the sinner while rejecting the sin, and to leave judgment of others to God. Isn't that what the religion is all about? Weren't those tenets what drew people to it?
How can claiming to be Chrisian and then spewing hate work? I don't get it.
I never have.
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That's simply great, Trab. For someone with no sense of literary allusion or literary perspective, the fact you could write that boggles the mind.
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Trab:
You have my permission, as owner, author and maintenance tinkerer, to not shred anything you print of mine.
Oliver:
Most all of my writing is now at AD. Off the top of my head, I can only think of a couple of things Nifty has that AD doesn't. The amazing thing, to me, is that you read Tim in one sitting. I don't even think I could do that. Or would want to. Pretty awesome, dude.
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Easy! Easy you say? Why not just call the guy up and ask what time it is? Easy indeed!
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There is some gorgeous music in all the Ring operas. There's a lot of filler, too. The story behind the operas is basically mystical folderol that is incomprehensible.
Ask Colin about them. He's the opera buff here.
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Somehow, Daffy never did much for me. But yeah, Scrooge, Donald, his three nephews, all great stuff.
And to show I was at an equal opportunity enjoyer, I love Little Lulu.
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Well, there was another superhero who had a strong sense of morality and fair play.
Mighty Mouse.
Okay, maybe you're sensing my intellectual grasp of good vs. evil was a bit shallower than yours.
At least the egg on my face at that admission is two toned, not just yellow.
C
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Can anyone come up with an English word that ends -mt (without using a dictionary)? There is at least one!
And how about this - it's a logic puzzle.
A man lives in a house with only one clock and no other timepiece. He forgets to wind his clock and it stops so he doesn't know the time.
He walks to his friend's house, stays the night, walks back and now he knows what the correct time is so he resets his clock.
How does he do it?
Additional information: his friend's house is equipped with a clock but he doesn't borrow it or any other timepeice. He does not make use of radio or any other electronic means to get a time signal.
Bruin
How about, while at the friend's house, which is next door to his, he sees that at 4 o'clock exactly, the shadow of the top of the tree in the front yard falls precisely against the top of the telephone pole in his yard. The next day, he waits for the shadow to hit that point, and sets his clock accordingly.
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I never dreamt there wasn't.
BTW, an "aggry" is a kind of Ghanaian glass bead. And I'm amazed that the AD spellchecker knows "Ghanaian", but not "Spellchecker".
I don't see anyone coming up with any other useful -gry words. I don't think there are any other than hungry and angry. As for -mt words, I've got one, but will have to put in my earplugs first so I won't be deafened by your roars.
Okay, ready? Gustav Klimt.
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Des, you've eloquently made my point. Not many 11 year olds want to read a philosophical treatise on the various shades of righteousness you just expressed. They do, however, like to be indulged by battles with giant octopi or armies of mutant troglodytes, with evil scientists vying for world domination, or demented rapscallions out to hold a city in their grasp.
You've brought back memories. The character who shouted 'Captian Marvel' instead of 'Shazam' was, in his superhero personna, Captain Marvel Jr. The trick is remembering his mortal name. I think, only think, it was Freddy Freeman, a cripled street corner newspaper peddler. There was also a girl, Mary Marvel, but I wasn't interested in girls and I don't remember much about her. I don't think she was Captain Marvel's mate, but don't really remember. I never paid much attention to her.
Good versus evil was much more enjoyable that good versus another flavor of good.
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People! People! He wasn't Shazzam! He was Captain Marvel. Shazam was the word Billy Batson cried to alert the gods above that he needed to be changed to his alter-ego, Captain Marvel. The gods, the seven of them that gave him his powers, had the initials of their names spell out the word Shazam.
Billy Batson was mortal, and had to cry Shazam to become powerful and impregnable. Therefore, these were much more exciting tales than the Superman ones, because Billy was vulnerable. Clark never was, unless someone waved some strange green rock at him. That vulnerablity was a huge plot point, because he could be put in mortal danger, a simple gag preveting his shout for his enabling lightning bolt. These were also tales an 8 or 10 year old boy could be enthralled by, as the comics seemed to be written for that age group, vs. Superman, which seemed to be written for adults.
But get they guy's name right, people! Captain Marvel.
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There are only three words in The English Language that end in '-gry'. One is angry and the other one is hungry. Can you name the third word?
It's quite easy :D.
Maddy (::
Um, exactly what do you mean by "easy"?
I can think of maybe two other words, but neither are common words, and people would argue vociferously, perhaps angrily, about both of them.
You're not fooling with us, are you?<g>
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Thanks, Camy.
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The world keeps changing. Have you noticed? We keep moving on, moving forward, sometimes striding, sometimes stumbling, but the movement itself is steady, persistent--moving onward. This occurs in all facets of life, too, from architecture to zoo keeping, from abacuses to super computers, from "Mr Watson ? Come here ? I need you,? to ?If you want information on your account, please press one.?
Even stories are different today. In the 1950?s a scintillating sex novel appeared in the bookstores. Peyton Place it was called. It was scandalous, and had a sex scene between an intoxicated, savage father and a winsome daughter, among other libidinous rowdiness. This was new and shocking. Such stories are common fare now, and that book wouldn?t raise even spinsterish eyebrows, where it raised the stock prices of smelling salts companies then.
Comic book superheroes have been updated, too. Those in the early days of the invention could fly, and pictures of them doing so stirred the imagination of every boy who escaped to his bedroom to read them. Many of those, so fired by the pictures and thoughts of the impossible, used bath towels as capes, zoomed around the house with their arms in front of them looking like divers in need of a pool, and some of them were so inspired they leaped off roofs, only to learn that comic books and real life were vastly, sometimes fatally, different.
Today?s superheroes do more than fly. The list of their abilities includes such attributes as technopathy, cryokinesis, intuitive aptitude, empathic mimicry, space-time manipulation, telekinesis and phasing.
Today?s boy of ten isn?t just beguiled by seeing his hero rescue a damsel from a burning building or catch a safe that?s about to crush her. Today?s boy is faced with abilities that yesterday?s boy doesn?t even understand. He takes these abilities in, and his mind is expanded, and he moves forward, much as the architect and the zookeeper does.
But the old is good, too. I look at that list of superhero attributes and shake my head, wondering why, if you were to choose your super-abilities, you would select, say, empathic mimicry, or intuitive aptitude, over super strength, or the ability to fly. Why would you do that? What?s wrong with the old-fashioned super abilities?
I get it when someone wants to be faster than a speeding bullet, leap buildings--hell, they can be tall or short for all that matters, they?re buildings, for God?s sake--in a single bound. I get it about being more powerful than a locomotive; that sounds totally cool in that it defies the laws of physics, like it isn?t every day that my 160 pounds is going to stand on a railroad track, facing off against the ginormous size and lumbering tons of a locomotive and actually stop that mother. Doing that always sounded like a fun thing to do, even if it did make my wrists sore. So doing things like that, having the ability to do things like that, makes sense. Flying, seeing through things, being stronger than anyone else, and faster, too, being able to become invisible or hear a conversation being whispered four blocks away underground in the middle of a heavy metal concert, all that seems a given for a kid?s wish list. But empathic mimicry? Intuitive aptitude? Give me a break here!
In the first place, I?m not even sure what those are. The boy of ten probably does, as he?s a product of his environment, an advanced creature of his times; these things probably are part of him. He may even have a bit of empathic mimicry flowing through veins, part of his bloodstream. Intuitive aptitude? What that sounds like is some sort of super-sized intuition. So it?s kind of girly, right? Intuition, girly, yeah. But maybe what he?s thinking is, it?s some sort of advanced version of gaydar, and what gay kid wouldn?t like to have one of those, right out of the box?
But I still have to think, of that list, good gaydar might not be the preferred choice. Let?s think on it a sec. Let?s imagine.
Okay, so you?re in a bad part of town, it?s just a little after midnight, and you tell your gay friends you?ve had enough bar hopping for the night and just need to be alone. They?re thinking you?re depressed; you?re thinking jock itch and scratching. So you walk away into the fog. The only sounds you hear are the lapping of the cold ocean water against the docks two blocks away, a lonely foghorn stirring the hairs on the back of your neck, the occasional bark of a dog being territorial, and a drunk barfing in a doorway. You walk on and think there might be footsteps behind you. You look and see nothing. Still, your heart is beating a little faster.
You see a dark alley ahead and slip into it. I mean, why not? Doesn?t everyone walk alone into dark alleys late at night in the bad part of town? Well, you do, because, well, because you?re endowed with super powers. You have Intuitive Aptitude.
You?re well off the street now, back in the alley, and you see it dead ends into a solid brick wall. Around you are overflowing garbage cans, the litter of a tired and uncaring population, and the smell of urine, long since decanted. You turn to get out of the trap you?ve wandered into, and see three older teens standing in your path. Ugly, brutish and cruel looking teens. One of them steps a half step forward and shoves you on the shoulder so you stumble backwards, and says, ?Hey, look what we get to fuck with tonight.?
Another says, ?Yeah, fuck with and then fuck up.?
The third gropes his crotch and cleverly ripostes, ?And then just fuck. I got firsts. When we?re ready.?
Well, are you worried? Of course not. Because they don?t know of your powers. You stand in front of them acting like you?re calm, because of your superior powers and all, but somehow there?s a trickle of cold sweat etching its way down the back of your neck. You keep your cool as much as possible and activate your power, thinking while doing so that you know in advance what you?ll learn. Two of the guys will be frightened and won?t really want to be in any sort of scuffle. They?re only there so they can fit in with their friends. What they really want is to be home watching the Beaver on Nick-at-Night reruns; one of them actually has the hots for Barbara Billingsley. The third thug, the one who pushed you, well, he?ll actually eager to get it on, but you?re sure your powers will tell you that he?s been beaten on by his drunken father, and you know, you just know, if you can make him see how sorry you are for his past problems, put your arm around his shoulders and tell him you?re there for him, he?ll warm up to you.
That?s what you?re pretty sure you?ll find when you do your scan. You press your left thigh with your left thumb while clicking your heels together and saying to yourself, ?there?s no place like home,? and suddenly you can read their thoughts. They come to you in a crashing wave. You?re aghast. All three of them want to fuck you up, over, around and, well, that way, too.
So what are you thinking as they move in, and the first of them begins hitting you in the nose and the second one kicks you in the balls, solving your itching problem in the worst way, then cuts away your belt with his blade and yanks down your pants? You?re thinking about that list, aren?t you? And thinking the more powerful than a locomotive skill set might be more useful about now than Intuitive Aptitude.
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Yes, post it in the Flash Fiction Topic, that is what I said ten posts ago, but no one even noticed that I said it.
Actually, I did notice. I just didn't act. It wasn't through disrespect for your idea. It was more due to inner lassitude.
Okay, okay. If you guys want that there, I'll put it there. And I'll touch up the beginning to make it work, ala Colin's suggestion but probably different because, well, just because.
But I need a cup of coffee first. No coffee, no inspiration. Some people's muse works on scented scarves or moonlit vistas; mine works on coffee.
C
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I for one think it was beautifully written and heartfelt. Well done.
C
Scan to donate
Tim
in Readers Rule!
Posted
I'm not even sure I can figure out just what that means. I spent all my mental energy today trying to write 26 word alphabetic statements.
But thanks, I think.
C