Cole Parker
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Posts posted by Cole Parker
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Sorry. It was very clear to me.
You do recognize the difference between "us" and "we," don't you?<g>
Cole?
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Hah! We're not alone. Des feels the same. If we keep adding people to our pile, some day we'll be in the majority. And, as we were the first, we're the ones having fun on the bottom.
Cole
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Except there's a major difference. You know the book is done whether there is a final The End or not. There aren't any more words to read.
You know a movie is over. The lights come on.
But with an Internet story, without a The End, you just have to keep checking back to see if another chapter comes up. I think that's rude and unnecessary.
But that's just me.
Cole
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Des, It's really sad it happened.
You seem to have developed a sensitivy that they didn't have. It's wonderful you did that.
Moving on the Recovery, with the latest chapter now up, my question is, is the story finished? I remember the recent rule we read, that there is no need to write "The End" when we're done; it'll be apparent. I thought that silly at the time, and this simply is another of abundant examples of why. The story could end here, or not. I like it when an author is respectful enough of his audience to let these good people know.
Does anyone have a guess whether this was the last chapter or not?
Cole
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A cautionary note: don't leap on the Wibby bandwagon too eagerly. Raccoons can turn rabid and bite. Wait till you have him edit your work!
There is an easier way to parse that sentence to find the correct pronoun form, if I can enter the fray. I like things as simple as possible. You don't need to say it three ways to know what is correct. You can subsititiue just one word.
Instad of He gave a copy to blank, then to blank, then to me, think of it as, he gave a copy to we, or he gave a copy to us. "Us" is obviously the correct word. As "us" is objective rather than nomiinative, "me" would be the correct work rather than the nominative "I". Clear?
Cole
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I agree that plausibility is a vital ingredient in a story if the story is going to hold a reader's interest. Without that, anything goes, and drama is reduced as any conflict can be resolved without resorting to a need for reality.
Cole
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I totally agree. Dumbledore will be back in some form in the new book -- I'd bet your house on it.
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I can't let that pass without a Bravo! "I'd bet your house on it." Well done!
Cole
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Oh, and the volume is WAY too loud. Set volume to 12% and you'll find it plently loud. Not sure why it's so much louder :)
And here I always heard you older fellas needed it loud. Here Dude was just doing you a favor.
Cole
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I've read all four chapters posted. I like the fact that Greg is attracted to Seth, yet feels very ambivalent about it. The boy is younger and that bothers him. That sort of dissonance isn't seen very frequently and adds spice to the story. The fact the ambivalence is manifested in Greg not always treating Seth very well just adds to our frustration and angst, which keeps us involved.
On the other hand, the writing is very uneven. Several people have mentioned the need for editing, and I enthusiastically agree. There are spelling, syntax and grammatical errors that greatly detract from enjoying the story.
Perhaps it's just me -- a distinct possibility -- but I find clarity to be a huge problem. I'm simply not sure what he's saying some of the time. Just as one example, and there are more that could be cited, he has an abundance of sentences with two people in them, then begins the next sentence with "He." Who is he referring to? I'm frequently unsure, and the context of the sentence doesn't help.
The story is very enjoyable, but rather desperately needs serious editing at some point. I'm not volunteering for the job. It would be a lot of work. And of course it's quite possible the author wouldn't agree on the necessity.
Cole
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Well, an anatomically correct Ken doll might be spiffy, but why not someone other than Ken? Personality and looks both... hmm... I just think I'd like someone besides Ken more.
Me too. I've always found him quite shallow. His personality is, well, plastic.
Cole
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Congrats, Des. That change Dude made fixed mine, too.
And mine needed fixing. Oh, wait, we're still talking computers here.
I think you deserve more than a doll for this, even if it is anatomically correct. How about a big wet kiss?
Cole
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I always used to go through the front door, i.e., the story page to the forums.
Now, with your marvelous discovery, I go thorugh my favorites list directly to the forums.
Though I feel like I'm cheating, somehow.
Cole
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I always used to go through the story page.
Now, with the advent of MD's marvelous discovery, I go thorugh my favorites list.
Thanks again. Though I think we're subverting a carefully designed system.
Cole
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And yet again, Colin hits the nail on the head. Well, in this case, the tack.
Cole
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Why is it whenever Colin posts, his answer make more sense than anyone elses?
Just asking.
Cole
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WBMS:
I only speak and read English.
Non comprende.
C
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I tried to post in the discussion on answering a personal message, but can't there.
Maybe the reason was my reply was too frivolous. I merely wanted to ask Blue if a skin designer was a sort of tattoo artist.
Cole
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I'm being allowed to post a reply here. Some places in the forum I can, some I can't. Exceedingly weird.
One thing I notice, and I'm too illiterate when disucssing computers, and you can all snicker, but if it helps, good. It probably won't.
When I click on the Reply button, it takes a second or two to pull up this page I'm now writing on. While those seconds are passing, I normally have my normal mouse arrow visible on the screen. When I'm going to be kicked off, the arrow changes to an hourglass and a Microsoft message saying it's shutting down the window occurs.
When I'm allowed to post, the arrow is flickering very briefly, maybe milliseconds, then remains an arrow instead of an hourglass, suggesting to me it's in the process of maybe deciding to kick me off, or not. But something's happening in that time.
I'll leave it to you guys to figure it out.
I sure can't.
Cole
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I always DID go through the mainpage. No more.
Cole
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Nope. This room works. Going to Wibby's room, the one on adding a personal message, within a couple seconds of hitting the Reply button, I get kicked out and the entire window shuts donwn. Yet it doesn't happen here. If I go difectly to that forum site after accessing the forum, which I can now do successfully without going through the AD homepage, and so without having to log in, I cannot reply to anything there. I can read all the messages, but get booted if I try to reply.
Oh, and all the original messages always show up at the beginning of every thread.
So part of the battle has been won. There's a problem between the homepage and the forums.
Cole
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So far so good, but I have the feeling it sometimes does let me post one message before kicking me out. I'll post this, then not exit and try posting in antother room. If that works, Mountain Dude is a GENIUS!!!
Cole
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Mtn. Dude's trick worked for me, and as I'm writing in this space, accessing the reply button didn't kick me out this time. That's no guarantee at all it will work next time, it's working right this instant, which is much better than most instances. I'll post this, then try again.
So far so good!
Cole
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Ahem.
I can be proud as a peacock to share a surname with J-J, and while I marvel at the experiences he enjoyed as a wayward youth, I rue not having any of the kind to share. But I can say, and turly mean it, "Way to go, J-J!!!!"
Cole
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Well, it didn't kick me out this time. But I bet it will next time.
C
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Sentence Construction
in Editor's Desk
Posted
Trab:
Sorry if the explanation was confusing. While that system might not work for others, it works well for I.
Cole