Cole Parker
-
Posts
9,059 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
15
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Blogs
Posts posted by Cole Parker
-
-
Punctuation as per the Wibbster? I think not! He's old enough that insted of using colons, they'd all be semis.
C
-
Leave it to Trab to change the focus of the thread back to the vulgar!<g>
C
-
I think we can put to rest the suspicion that Camy's real identity has been ferreted out. He may well be named Myron, but there's no way he lives in Wisconsin.
I have him pegged as more of a Nova Scotian.
C
-
Like it or not, this is someone's opinion!
1 . The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles .
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time - and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country . . . Or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any another country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. The New Orleans Times-Picayune is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.
-
"I can't believe anyone wasted the time to study this especially enough to find typos. I just had a bout of silliness -- when I should have been writing, mind you." -- Wibby
If you think I actually studied that to find typos, you're out of your mind. I was being funny. All right? Jeeeeze!
So maybe the humor doesn't translate into Latin, if that's what it was. Or into jibberish, which is more likely.
C
-
I hate to quibble, but if you're going to present us with a treatise like this, you'll have to pay more attention. 'Accumsan' is misspelled; it only has one 'c.' And you can't use 'pellentesque' and 'est nisi' together like that; plural nouns and singular verbs don't cohabit.
Try to get it together, guy.
Cole
-
In fact, I could definitely see this going further. You might want to think of extending this out to a full novel.
I've been very surprised that I've gotten this comment, in one for or another, for every short story I've written. I take this as about the highest form of praise I could receive. It tells me I'm creating characters that are interesting, compelling even, that people want to know more about. What more could a writer ask than that?
As for actually doing that, extending the story to novel length, that would be problematic for me, and something I've always rejected. When I start a story, either a novel or short story, I do so with an objective in mind, a point I want to make or explore. I then tailor the characers and events to dramatically color that end. After the goal has been reached, to go further with the story would require me to invent something out of whole cloth, and I don't think I could do a very good job of that. I know lots of people do, that this is the stuff of which sequels are made (no matter how much certain rodents doth protest!) and very inventive writers do wonderful things in this genre. It's generally not what I'm about, however. I enjoy coming up with ideas, figuring out ways to best present them, and then working from there. Continuing after the fact isn't something I think I'd be much good at. I will say, however, I regret leaving my characters as much as many readers seem to regret seeing them disappear. These boys become very real to me, and it often hurts me to let them go. I imagine most writers feel this; I most certainly do. I invest a lot of time and emotion in all my guys. When I pull the plug on them, I do so telling myself that they have now earned their privacy.
As for your remark about using mood and description, light and shadow to create mood on the porch, I'm delighted you noticed what I was doing there. One of several purposes of this story was to spotlight how friends can make all the difference in a teen's life. The opening sequence was a visual metaphor for the entire story. It showed a boy running out of the dark, into the light. That is indeed what takes place in the story, as two boys, both living in the shadows, dare to face their challenges together, and in having the courage to do so, come into the light together. This is reinforced by the shadows on the porch when they talk; as they progress, some light from the house illuminates Tope and highlights the beginning of the lifting of both their spirits. My feelings as I wrote this were, while the imagery is interesting in itself, the metaphor itself was way too vague for it to be detected.
Cole
-
Blush!
C
-
Thanks, guys. I really do appreciate the very kind words.
Let me address the narrator's language. I accept all criticisms. I always have that problem, and I always take pains to at least make it plausible. In the instant case, not only did I make it clear he's done very little but read for the past two years, I stressed the point by listing the book he was currently reading. I would guess most people reading stories at this site would at least have a passing acquaintance to John Barth. He writes weighty literature. Any kid who reads his books for pleasure could certainly have and use the language that is in this story. The only really advanced word he uses, if I remember correctly, is "sedulous." One reason I included the Barth book I did is because that word appears in that book.
Is anyone going to realize this? Of course not. It's simply an idiosyncrasy of mine, having kids speak like I wish kids did speak. I'm not around kids enough to be able to write in their argot. The ones I am around speak proper English to adults, and so I don't get to hear their peculiar vernacular well enough to reproduce it. And if I did manage to write as the very precocious ones speak, none of us my age would understand it!
But I'm probaby sounding too defensive, and I don't mean to. I recognize this as a weakness, but do the best I can with it.
I'm delighted people are reading and enjoying the story.
Cole
-
Reagan was also bad for funding for the Arts. But he was also instrumental in getting the country out of the general malaise Carter had allowed us to fall into through a regrettable lack of leadership. Reagan had pluses and minuses. Bush, on the other hand, seems to have zero pluses and a whole lot of minues, including a lot of dead American kids who have sacrificed for no discernable reason, as far as I can see. He has an awful lot to answer for.
C
-
I read or heard or somehow learned that very small snakes can be more deadly than very large ones. It seems babies aren't sufficiently wise in the ways of venom, and when they strike, they pump out their full allotment. Mature snakes tend to ration it.
So, Pecman, I think it's great for all of us, and you, that that tiny critter slithered away rather than toward.
C
-
If I have to choose between spam on my beloved AD, or the raccoon spending at extra ten seconds signing in every time, I'll choose to let the raccoon let his fingers do the walking.
Sorry, you furry creature you.
C
-
I discovered this ad today, and still am not sure I believe it. You can take a look yourself at:
www.shaveeverywhere.com
It's an interactive ad. By clickiing on the razor in the lower corner after you've seen the initial video, you can bring up additional footage. Be sure to activate the Music Video before leaving.
There is some actual product endorsement in this, but it's not offensive within the context of what's happening. I'm certainly not endorsing the product, merely looking at what to me is a remarkable advertisement, one I find difficult to believe a major company would stand behind.
I loved this, the tone, the actor, the whole enchilada.
Anyone have any thoughts on this? Other than the fact they need to do one directed more towards the gay segment of the population?
Cole
-
Ah, to gambol my way through my future. What a way to go!
C
-
I've noticed another change in the way things work in the last week or so. It used to be that however the view new posts control worked, it was immediate. When I'd look at something using that control, then use the control again, what I'd just reviewed no longer showed up as a new post. Now, it remains on the list. This is no real problem, no biggie, but it is a change. I have to remember which items I've read now, whereas the system did it for me before.
c
-
That's great, Des! I love it!
C
-
That poem is unsettling on a number of levels.
Cole
-
The dates are very useful.
Cole
-
Using colloquialisms to color speech patterns is not only acceptable practice, it's a widely used practice by all levels of writers. If you want your dialogue to sound authentic, you should write like people talk. If you write dialogue in perfect English, your characters don't sound real.
"Could of" is extremely common. So are phrases like "try and do something" rather than "try to do something" and "could care less" instead of "couldn't care less." There are hundreds of these. A formal narrative shouldn't contain them, but dialogue and personal thoughts can and, in my mind should, without any problem whatsoever.
Thus speaketh me!<g>
C
-
Cole, regarding ?the guy?, and colinean ?(He?s a drug dealer? Nah)? I have two questions: it is intentionally unclear what Bo thinks his work is. I hope, though, it is clear what Todd (and, at this point, I?d expect, the reader) thinks Bo?s work is. Is it? If it is, then does Bo?s use of ?the guy? make it seem like it takes more than just a name for Bo to distinguish one gentleman from another? That was the intent of writing it that way. If I missed, I missed.
David: I could imagine a couple reasons for you using the "that guy" description of Todd when Bo was thinking of him. If it was intentional usage on your part and there is a valid reason for it, that suffices for me. I don't know who Bo is at this point, or what his work is. I can come up with a couple ideas, but generally when reading something like this, I suspend guesses until I have a bit more to work on, so haven't done a lot of pondering on that. I'm a bit surprised if your point was that we should have a pretty good idea of Bo's occupation from what you've written. I could make a guess, and it might even be right, but I havne't spent much time considering it, and I doubt others have either.
-
Des, he never said he was going to sleep at 11 p.m.
Trab! And you're the one who doesn't read between the lines or extrapolate!
But I love it!
Cole
-
OK, here's where I deviate. The use of "that guy" is entirely appropriate. Bo was drunk out of his skull. He could have been introduced to Todd a couple of dozen times and wouldn't have been able to recall his name. So, Bo thinking about Todd as "that guy" is right on.
Bo uses it a second time, when he's at Todd's and looks at the pictures of Todd and a guy who I assume was (is?) his BF, and thinks about the BF as "that guy". The use of "that guy" in two contexts didn't bother me.
Colin
Colin, I wasn't complaining about the "that guy" usage early on in the story, only the cases after Todd had introduced himself the next morning. Bo was not drunk at that time; the name should have stuck, and the chapter would simply read a bit more straightforwardly if "that guy" were replaced by "Todd" in many of the places where "that guy" is used.
But it's certainly a matter of opinion rather than right or wrong. I usually go by the rule that anything in writing that distracts us from being in the story itself and makes us think about the writing is a distraction that interferes with our immersion in the story.
C
-
There's probably something wrong with me. I just read the first chapter and didn't experience the same problems you guys did. At the very first it was a little confusing, but most stories I read are a little confusing at the very first, and I've learned to accept that and read on. If it doesn't clear itself up, that's one thing, but here, it became clear what was happening very quickly. I don't think that aspect needs to be tweaked at all.
I did have some minor gripes, and mailed them to David. I feel sort of shy about pointing out errors in someone's writing in public, even if he's asked us to. It just doesn't sit well with me.
I guess I can share one concern I had. I didn't like Bo calling Todd "that guy" to himself when he was thinking about him. That seemed awkward to me, as Todd had already introduced himself. If someone introduces himself, and you know his name, then you don't think of him as "that guy," you think of him by the name you have for him.
I like what I've read so far. It seems like it could go in several directions from this point. It'll be interesting to see how it develops.
Cole
-
Let me join the chorus. I read it a couple years ago. Very, very good story, and excellent writing. It's bound to draw you in. Once started, you'll finish it. Guananteed.
Cole
Scan to donate
Damned Crazy-Ass Emus
in The Raccoon's Den
Posted
Des:
You display such a great supply of wit, I think you should be bottling it instead of giving it away free.
Set up the equivalent of a lemonade stand. Witticisms for sale: Buy two, we'll throw in another, whether you want it or not.
You could make a fortune.
C