aj
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Posts posted by aj
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I work directly on the screen, but I always change the font and size of the chapter before I start working on it. I find, for some reason, that trebuchet ms is very easy on the eye, causing less eye strain than a more angular typeface--say, Times New Roman.
cheers!
aj
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Chapter two comes out this weekend, and we'll be posting every other weekend--thank god, because the weekly schedule of last year was a killer.
Both J and I have used our hiatus well, and have a number of chapters for the new volume written and edited, and are forging ahead, trying to maintain a 'cushion' of completed chapters ready for posting before their due date. I am currently working on the second edit of chapter 7, and halfway through the first edit of 8.
The story goes on, and I think you'll be pleased with the results of Jamie's hard work.
cheers!
aj
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Went over to the site and read the opening chapter of your tale...quite nicely done, I must say. Being not as much a writer and more an editor, I noted that it needs the helping hand of a good editor, but the errors I saw were more grammatical and less plot oriented, and that is always a good thing--a pass or two through it with a red pen, and it'd be right as rain.
I enjoyed the contrast of characters between the upper class boys and their decidedly working class new friend, and I appreciated the details that made both stand out as living, breathing boys and not just cardboard cutouts from each class. I definitely enjoyed the discussion of EU politics, as this is something one doesn't hear much about over here.
All in all, a very nice start to what could be an amazing story.
cheers!
aj
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I love the idea of a separate forum for a discussion of the Scrolls--See, Jamie? I told you we'd have our own place someday--and I went over and left a maundering little note on the forum.
cheers!
aj
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Yup, starting in the middle, with William leaning back against the door, is a fine idea. The point of a short story is that it is aimed like a rapier--straight for the heart.
cheers!
aj
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You have no idea, constantine. And his trials have only just started...but Jamie is a tough little bugger, and I have a feeling he'll come out of it ok.
cheers!
aj
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Hon, by the time you get to the adult diaper stage, you won't be able to panic. takes too much energy and concentration.
cheers!
aj
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Yup, LB....ya did it right. No play-by-play, just a little 'color' and a focus on the emotions of the participants. Nicely done. Which is pretty much what I'd say about the whole story, incidentally.
cheers!
aj
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the famous case of the swan pair on the Boston Commons. It's a very old tradition that there is a mating pair of swans there, and they are always named Romeo and Juliet. However, it was recently discovered that the current pair are more appropriately named Juliet and Juliet. While they made a nest and laid eggs, for obvious reasons all the eggs were sterile, which is what tipped off the park officials to have the two tested.
I think there's a thread on the N&V section about it, from a good way back.
cheers!
aj
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It's pretty damn good. I'm enjoying it...and it's a phenomenal first effort.
cheers!
aj
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I know it's been said again and again, but DAMN! Elecivil, this is a really, really good chapter.
Did you ever watch footage of Horowitz playing the piano? He was a technician--every note perfect, no expression on his face, very little emotional content. But if you watched his hands, they were light, light, light on the keyboard--springy and agile, and always dead on. That part of his performance reminds me of this chapter. It's screwball, fresh, and absolutely charming.
cheers!
aj
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Jerry Miller's story, Behind the Silver Screen. It's a very sweet love story, told in an interesting way. Hope you guys all have a chance to read it, and tell him how good it is.
cheers!
aj
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I wanted to ask you guys for some opinions on a particular construct that I'm running into a lot, and I'm not sure exactly what is correct. Here's an example:
"I wish you wouldn't do that, George," he said.
My issue is with how many commas are correct here. It seems to me, intuitively, that there is one too many commas in that sentence, but...what do y'all think? I know, it's a picayune point, and I could probably get the answer out of "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" but the truth is, i'm too damn lazy to look the answer up.
cheers!
aj
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Hey SS--
Change is inevitable, always a little (or a lot) scary, and frequently beneficial. The rule is, change or be changed.
Btw, really liked the new tale--Fan in the Stands. I'm so very not a sports fan...when the Seahawks were threatening to leave town if we didn't build them a new stadium, I was one of those with a bumpersticker on my car that said "Go SeaHawks! and take the Mariners with you." So it was fascinating to me to read about the private life of a dedicated sports fan...who knew there was so much involved? Thanks for sharing that peek into a mysterious world.
cheers!
aj
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I'm definitely a dog person. Cats are generally poseurs, in my experience...they'd like you to think that they could get on quite well without you, when the truth is that if we didn't feed 'em, they'd curl up and die.
Dogs, on the other hand, wear their hearts on their sleeves. No pretense of aloofness, no covert agendas...they love their people, and aren't afraid to let it show. I currently live with three mini daschunds, and i wouldn't trade 'em for anything. William, Charlotte and Medea are the best buddies a guy could ask for.
cheers!
aj
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I think, Blue, that the key to whole thing is to be the Blue that you are the happiest with...if that means the more optimistic, slightly whimsical and funny guy I know from IM, with a tremendous compassion for others searching for the way even as he himself searches, then that's a fine person to be...but it has to be the person that YOU like the best. After all, you're the person who is going to have to live with this person in the closest proximity.
cheers!
aj
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What's that you say? The South of France? Hmmm...didn't I have a speedo somewhere around here? I guess i better look for the Atkins diet book while I look for the swimsuit, too.
So, I just sent the final edits of Silver and Gold, the interludes, to Jamie. They will be posted next weekend, and that will be that for book one. It's been a year and a few months that I've been filling the role of sidekick in this venture, and it's been quite a learning experience. I'd like to say thanks to all of you for your kind words and acknowledgements, but Jamie is the star of this show--from his fertile and fevered imaginings come the winged boys and all the world that they live in...such world building is beyond my humble powers of imagination, I have to admit. But, I do make a hell of a good fan, and I have a twisted love of workshopping other people's work with them, so it all works out rather well.
As to the progression of the story itself...remember when you went to see the The Nutcracker, and they started off with a rather long symphonic overture, and then finally the curtain rose and the story got under way? Well, we've just reached the end of the overture, and the curtain is about to go up. Lucky for you, these theater seats come with seatbelts, 'cause you're gonna need 'em. So buckle up, hang on and get ready for a ride...
cheers!
aj
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A guy walks into a vet clinic, holding a small dog crate with a little terrier in it. The receptionist tells him to have a seat for a few minutes, then ushers him into an examination room in the back.
When the vet walks into the examination room, the guy already has his dog out of the crate and lying on the table. Sadly, the terrier is very obviously dead.
"um, sir? what was it that you wanted me to do?" the vet asks. "This dog is pretty clearly dead."
"Dead?" the guy exclaims. "Why, he was fine just this morning. I want a second opinion."
The vet shrugs, and walks out. A few minutes later he returns with a large siamese cat in his arms, and sets it on the table next to the dog's body. The cat looks at the dead dog for a minute, sniffs at it a little, then turns to the guy.
"I'm sorry, sir, but this dog is dead," the cat says.
"I don't believe that...I want another opinion."
The Vet rolls his eyes, but gathers up the cat and leaves the room again. A few minutes later, he returns, and this time he's leading a big black lab on a lead. The dog jumps up on the table, sniffs the body a few times, and looks up at the guy.
"I hate to tell you this, but this dog is dead," he says.
Well, the man is very sad, but he's gotten three opinions, and they all agree, so he decided he didn't have much choice but to believe what he's being told. The vet leaves the room with the black lab, and then comes back.
"Well," the man says, "what do I owe you for this visit?"
"That'll be 5500 dollars," the vet replies.
"WHAT?!" the man screams. "5500 dollars to be told that my dog is dead? Are you insane?"
"Well," the vet says, "the fee includes a Cat scan and Lab work."
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So far this year, I've fallen out of love once and gotten infatuated once. I think that's a pretty good average.
cheers!
aj
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These two poems are from my buddy Steve Dammann.
1
Paralysis of ambition,
The number one killer
Game, set, match
Before the first serve
That joke we know too well
The business of life
Became a life of business
A corporate electric fence
and no access code.
There's no denying your passion
or ignoring the problem
Star in the sky
hanging from a branch
An old fashioned way
to snuff out the candle
that burns at both ends.
2
Fashionable casual disconnection
to not care is cool
walkways with no feeling
lead us into this emptiness
satisfaction is questionable
when their eyes meet
fault the molding hands
evil digits and minds
creating a game
out of sincerity
a caring facade carving
dominos and dice out of
what could be
but isn't
due to your mismanagement
materialistic businesslike demeanor
a human appearance
with a denied soul
is a human being no longer.
Steve Dammann, '05
cheers!
aj
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I couldn't agree with you more, Graeme. Such an unsolicited edit would not be a gift, but a slap. Please, let's not do it that way.
If, on the other hand, vwl finds a couple of authors on Nifty that would be willing to let us spindle, fold and mutilate their chapters, that would be a fine thing.
In terms of the actual mechanics of the editing process for me, I do it 'the old school way,' I suppose. I take the file that I'm sent, mark all the deletions with <brackets> and highlight the new text in green. I make punctuation changes without notating them, and the same with spelling errors. There is a chance that a word may be spelled incorrectly on purpose, but i let the author handle that aspect. Otherwise, everything gets noted in the above method, and then I send the chapter back to the author, who accepts or rejects the changes, and sends me back the chapter with all my suggestions either accepted or rejected, and with any any new material added during revision. It goes back and forth three times, with the final proof being sort of sacred--it's the only way i've found of being sure that the work is posted with the least number of errors. Even so, some very few things slip through.
In addition to this, I write endnotes (sometimes extensive ones) to the author with suggestions and thoughts and impressions. These play an important part in the communication with my partner-in-crime, the author.
cheers!
aj
Incidentally, I find that as I work more and more with specific authors, I learn their most common mistake patterns, and you can almost anticipate where you're going to need to spend the most time.
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When I'm working with Jamie, I do basic proofing, continuity checks (though these are hardly ever a problem), stylistic suggestions and the very occasional content suggestions. Appearance issues are not applicable to the work that we do, except that my computer keeps messing up the tabs on the work when it gets returned to Jamie...if anybody knows why, I'd be profoundly grateful for some pointers on how to prevent that, btw. I also help with the language of antique weapons and military details, since it's something I have an interest in.
The only time I ever actually 'rewrite' anything is in the final draft of a chapter, when I do the final proof...at that point, I don't notate corrections, I just put them in. Happily, by the time we reach that point, the work is pretty well set, all the rewrites have been done, and it's mostly just grammar/punctuation corrections.
I'll admit up front that I don't have nearly Pec's credentials in the field. I'm relatively new to editing, and TSOI is really my first major project. At some point in the future I'd like to do this commercially, but I think that the kind of work i'm doing with Jamie and the two other authors I work with is good preparation for that eventuality.Who knows if it'll go anywhere... but then, I imagine the Wright brothers' friends had a few doubts too. :p
cheers,
aj
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This is without a doubt the most outrageous, scurrilous collection of slander I've ever read...I love it! And just to set the record straight, I NEVER practice proctology...professionally.
cheers!
aj
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It's hard to imagine a marriage where neither partner ever spoke to each other...not just the sullen silence of "not getting along," but ever. That's what trying to edit for someone without talking to them would be like, i think.
I think I've been lucky...Jamie and I, and Peter and I, chat all the time, and not just about the stories we work on together, but about life and cooking (is there a difference?!), and work, and their relationships (because I don't have one), and all the things that matter, and quite a few that don't. Somewhere along the way, we manage a few minutes about the story and resolve whatever challenges are facing us there.
Communication between writer and editor is vital to the process, I think.
cheers!
aj
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The Scrolls of Icaria - Book 2 Chapter 2
in Readers Rule!
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welcome to the forums, ratatosk...always nice when a lurker comes out of the closet.
Also pleased to hear that you've been reading the Scrolls. I have to agree--Jamie is one hell of a story teller.
So which chapter is your favorite, so far? I'll tell you a secret--I think my personal favorite is the one about Nic's birthday party. All of them are pretty good, but that one stands out for me.
cheers!
aj